Please Have A Seat Over There, Fez
When 30-year-old Wilmer Valderrama isn't refreshing Affliction's website for new pieces of joo-ree made out of silver-plated douche bottles, he's leaning against his Camaro right outside of Disney's barely legal playground. Wilmer bragged to Howard Stern that his "8-inch" peen plucked Mandy Moore's cherry out with its lips and he humped on Lindsay Lohan when she turned 18, and now Page Six is saying that he's added Demi LoVATOOOO to his list. So the new equation for all of you aspiring Hollywood messes out there is: sell your soul to Mickey Mouse + get yourself an ass bag of a dad who won't shut his mouth hole + get with Fez. Mickey is Fez's wingman.
A source tells Page Six that Wilmer and 18-year-old Demi first met while shooting a public service spot for the victims of the earthquake in Chile in May. Right after Joe Jonas traded Demi in for an older and bushier beard, she rolled right into Wilmer's waterbed (you know his ass has a waterbed). Another source says that Demi considers Wilmer a big part of her life and introduced him to her friends as her boyfriend. Apparently, they are still together while she tries to rid herself of the fuckery in a treatment center.
Demi's spokeswhore kept their lips shut about this and Wilmer's spokeswhore denied all of it.
Whether or not this is true, we'll find out the next time Wilmer goes on Howard Stern since he's all about spilling everything about his past pieces including rating them on a scale form 1 to 10 and comparing their snatches to baked goods ("Mandy Moore was not like warm apple pie" - Wilmer). And don't be surprised if when Miley Cyrus goes to Disney's counseling trailer to talk about her parents divorce, she finds Wilmer sitting in the therapist's chair. Wilmer will smoothly pull down his eyeglasses and say, "Tell me everything..." I swear, Mickey and Fez are totally in CAHOOTS!
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UGH, what a sceevy douche!
1. I would never fuck a man named Wilmer
2. He looks like a phedophile
3. Demi's got crazy written all over her
I've always said that Wilmer only seems to go after the barely legals. That's probably why he's the voice of Handy Manny... he was trying to find more underagers that way...
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I Love You More
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He's like the poor man's Jack Nicholson.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
He is disgusting. He keeps getting older, and the girls he likes stay the same age.
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"I never beat Michael. I used a strap."
-Joe Jackson
Actually he probably divides his time between nickolodean and disney studios looking for the next 16-18 yr old to bone.
obviously he has problems trying to IMPRESS women who are slightly older and know better, so he targets naive and maybe messed up girls like lindsay, demi, who were whored out by their publicists, managers, movie studios, these girls think he would be a modern day casanova.
lol in three years time, he will be 30 and by then he would have probably tried ali lohan and other nickolodean and disney startlet who just turned 17/18.
EEEWWWWWW What the hell?!! why are all these girls bonking him?
are hollywood girls that fucking desperate with extremly low self esteem???
that guy is nasty! does he have a hypnotic dick or something?? i dont get what is soo hot about him.
its FEZ for god sakes, everytime he tries to talk dirty to you, it wouldnt work because you just picture him on that 70s show.
and is he camping Disney studios waiting for the next 17/18 year old to bone??? i guess he has miley cyrus, ali lohan on the list and probably is thinking about dating miley's sister too.
HE IS NASTTTTTTY!!!
He's a sexy player. Ain't nuthin wrong widat:)
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
Still have no idea who these people are, but I have my opinion on guys who go for barely legal virgin chicks, and it ain't pretty.
Also, I co-sign that this creepo here can't be compared to Zach Braff. Zach Braff is teh funny.
Wilmer is like three feet tall. It makes sense that he picks up young chicks at his local Build A Bear Workshop.
Sleazebag.
He's MY age and he's hitting on girls almost half his age? What a pathetic piece of trash this loser is. I simply don't have words. All I know is that women MY age wouldn't stand for this kind of low-brow classless fuckery.
"People are strange when you're a stranger...Faces look ugly when you're alone." ~ The Doors
Wilmer, Chris Hansen wants you to have a seat.
It's easy to bag em when they're young and dumb, huh? Nail a real bona fide grown ass woman and get back to us.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
This greasy pig is a punk-ass bitch. I remember he stood by like a bitch while someone fucked up his card right in front of him on punk'd. He may have a big dick but he has no balls, so I guess that is what he is compensating for.
He was banging Lindsay when she was 17.
This post pretty muh answers that BL the other day about the young starlet, older guy and unwanted pregnancy.
Lovato is on the Lindsay Lohan/Tara Reid Express.
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Shiitake happens...
I wonder if Demi introduced Handy Manny to her little sister... I know he wants to meet her.
And Bob the Builder is sexy...
Who is this person
Wow, he got really hot! To bad it sounds like he is a loser. Women his own age won't have anything to do with him so he has to hit on young girls who don't know any better. Gross.
Submitted by harveyprice on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 12:56pm.
Well he probably gets revenues from reruns of the show, and I have a feeling a lot of these people are escorts or make like 10K from appearances, which can add up. That on top of having bought their houses when their fame was big, so they can continue living in nicer neighborhoods. And in the end they marry rich, and we still hear about them cause they can afford the PR...that's my guess, anyway.
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"...tits sag, IQ doesn't."
-Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 12:19am.
Sounds like a pervert.
I can totally imagine how he picks up young starlets: probably shows up at events he can get into where he knows they'll be a lot of young ones and "accidentally" bumps into one and gives the "Hey, do I know you?" line. Soon followed up by the "oh, you're even more beautiful in person", blah blah blah...continued with the "you're only HOW old? REALLY? I know girls 10 years older than you who are less mature". Chats them up for a bit, tells them how cool they are to hang with and exchange numbers to hang out later...and the rest is history. (Not speaking from experience but have known too many guys who pull this garbage and it WORKS somehow).
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Run, Forrest Miley, Run!!
On the other hand, it could be that these young Hollyho's hook up with Wilmer cuz he used to be somebody then dump his trick ass cuz he sucks in bed. Then out of massive bruised ego he retaliates by talking trash. But notice none of the girls talk about him. I'm inclined to believe Wilmer must be entirely forgettable. Which has to hurt.
Ick. Nast. You know he goes after the kiddies because no woman close to his age would put up with that kind of fuckery.
No doubt he spends hours on the Internet drooling over Slovenian prostitutes.
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"You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time."
"I was promoting the art of dance."
"With nude loitering, nude and disorderly conduct, and nude drunken driving?"
"I was not drunk. I was ON PILLS!"
Ugh, the saddest part is that Mandy at 18 or 80 is too hot for him. Never found him attractive at all.
It's nice to be allergic to douchebags, or at least the super obvious ones. It is sickening to see a full grown man take advantage of young girls, then add insult to injury by telling the public how they were in bed (thanks capt'n obvious)..
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Shame on Wilmer (how does he get w/anyone with that NAME?)...and others like him who take advantage of younger people, it's SICK! And then to go and brag about it and make the younger woman/man feel bad about it, that's the worst. Hopefully he will get slapped down for it soon.
I hate douchebag dudes who fuck and tell. Real men who are secure in their masculinity don't have to talk about their "conquests" to impress other men. Wilmer the Weasel is so obviously trying to compensate for his total lack of something. Like the fact that he never seems to have a girlfriend...?
Chimo. The end.
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit, but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
"don't be surprised if when Miley Cyrus goes to Disney's counseling trailer to talk about her parents divorce, she finds Wilmer sitting in the therapist's chair. Wilmer will smoothly pull down his eyeglasses and say, "Tell me everything...""
OMG I couldn't stop laughing when I read this and formed a mental picture of it. This is why I love MK and Dlisted. Classic!
Aw, look at Wilmer! He looks all growed up now. I thought he was a couple years older, though.
They're both fugly as hell and run of the mill. That is all. Oh, and how do people keep getting any attention at all after doing like one show or movie? Like that Shannon Elizabeth chick....
Wilmer is only 30? I thought that fucker was like 45!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
@Borg: Sorry to read, that happened to you. You did get revenge in the end.
I don't blame the girls, I just know some haters will say the girls should know better, etc. I think they don't stand a chance when a hot older guy who was on TV starts chasing them. Yes, his show was awful, but a lot of women are star struck and don't care.
I wish there was a way to sentence Wilmer and John Meyer to a remote island so that they can be ass raped for all eternity.
Well that solves yesterday's Blind Item from BuzzPhoto about the fresh faced actress/singer who got pregnant by a much older man and can't deal with the after effects.
Poor Demi.
I had never heard of before the rehab scandal, but I feel really bad for a young girl in the situation, being taken advantage of by everyone in her life until she breaks.
Someone please slap me with a lead pipe for saying this, BUT...
Wilmer Valderrama is looking fuckable in this photo!
*reports self*
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Wait a minute, isn't he part of the reason Lezlo went insane addict? I remember he dumped her ass and she went all stalker on him, then she started sleeping with everyone under the sun to make him jealous, there was a dance off in some club and then Lezlo became the skank, whore drug addict we all know today.
Snideychick sez:
Wilmer has been described by D-listers as:
Scumbag
Douche
Turd
Shit
Sleaze
I have only one word to add: COSIGNED!
This guy is disgusting. Just watch. in 25 years he'll be scoping the brothels of Thailand looking to buy some underage prostitute to de-flower.
Watch Out Selena Gomez! ...He'll be after you next! >.<
I like Mandy Moore. She didn't go around slutting it up on stage in order to have people take her 'music' seriously, ala Brit Brit, Chestica, and Xtina, and she turned out to be an actually decent actress, again unlike her counterparts.
So sorry to find out she was taken advantage by a turd like that :(
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Just a friendly reminder for chi-chi awareness month ;)
You in danger girl indeed. This guy surpasses all previous high-water douchery marks. The only thing missing is the "Please Report to the Devil's Office" tag.
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"... educational videos which can be found in the FRESH FUCKERY section of your local library ..."
Submitted by letinstar on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 12:21pm.
this wilmer douche's goal is to bang his way through every barely legal...DOUCHE...
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Taking over the reins from Scott Biao I guess.
So does the size of a peen really impress virgins? Cause that's the only thing this guy has going for him, pure fug!
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!
Who's next in line? Miley...Dakota...Ali Lohan...Noah...take a number.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
this wilmer douche's goal is to bang his way through every barely legal...DOUCHE...
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
Dewwwwwwwsh.
Submitted by will.i.am on Tue, 11/09/2010 - 10:56am.
I'm sorry, Mandy Moore could release the nastiest sex tape the world has ever seen and i'll still believe she is a virgin.
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It could be an act, but she seems really sweet and genuine in interviews. It's a shame she got tangled up with this borderline-pedofile fuckhead and that he sold her out like that.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
What a sleazebag.
@Dusted
Actually he's one of my favourite actors right now. And I think he's handsome. Though I do have a thing for big nosed guys cue Jason Schwartzman. And garden state was GOOD. Why do you hate him so?
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin.
He always looked dirty to me the same way Vanessa Hudgens does. I can't explain that.
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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks