Raise Your Glass Of Sparking Barley Water!
John Travolta has thrown a baby-proof lacefront on his head this morning, because he's a father to a newborn baby all over again! While surrounded by giant "L.Ro Commands You To SHHH!" signs, Kelly Preston silently removed the velcro from her pillow bump and the surrogate quietly tiptoed into the room to hand over her new BABY BOY!!!! And as she mimed the words "coo" into her new baby's face, John's friends at the bath houses passed around blue cigars (no comment on what they did with those cigars). But in all seriousness, John and Kelly confirms to People that she birthed out the new baby prince of Scientology:
John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston are parents to son Benjamin, who was born Tuesday in a Florida hospital.
The baby weighed 8 lbs., 3 oz.
"John, Kelly and their daughter Ella Bleu are ecstatic and very happy about the newest member of the family," they say in a statement. "Both mother and baby are healthy and doing beautifully."
YAY for John. YAY for Kelly. But a special Xenu YAY for Suri, because now she has a new arraigned friend to smoke barley joints with in the back of the Scientology center in 15 years.
• 
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Didn't realize Clearwater, FL had a hospital.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
>John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston are parents to son Benjamin, who was born Tuesday in a Florida hospital.<
Is it just me, or is this a distinctly odd wording of a birth announcement??
The phrase "gave birth to .." are oddly absent!!
It reads to me exactly like this:
"John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston are NEW parents to THEIR PURCHASED son Benjamin, who was born VIA SURROGATE on Tuesday in a Florida hospital."
...but that's just me right?! *eyeroll*
Oh and the other thing is why the hell did it take so long for the birth anouncement anyway? Was there something wrong with the first baby and they had to go and exchange it? (sorry now I am just being mean)
Neither here nor there; the truth is, I feel soooooo sorry for that little critter.. I really do :o(
stefystef on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 1:31pm.
Kelly got an egg from one of her scientology friends and John's sperm (because John is WAY too arrogant to raise another man's child).
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No, J.T. has NOOOOO problems with another mans sperm; although, he prefers it shot in his mouth or ass - rather than Kelly's nearly virginal twat.
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In a time of universal deceit
- telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
*George Orwell*
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Those who exchange liberty for safety deserve neither; AND LOSE BOTH!
*Benjamin Franklin
Hope this one ain't a tardbaby.
Idk, maybe she likes him. Some of us were born hags. He wants his hobby on the side and she demands a baby so she'll have a hobby, too. Some ppl like babies, some don't .... Maybe he'll do a Chamberlain and come out when he's 60. James Haven, I think we need that ouija board more than they do.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
JAMES HAVEN!!!!!!!!! Yay! Welcome back fine sir! I was going to rant abot JT's fuckery here but James Haven explains all. Also, I agree with Dog.
Travoltas-Stop the horseshit, No One is buying this.
I love the way that all the announcements and press have been very carefully worded to avoid use of phrases like "Kelly gave birth".
Read them. They might as well all be flashing neon signs about surrogacy. Or, "gestational carriers."
To the two mutant paruntal units,
It's a fucking baby, not a hamster. Don't snuff this one out!
Note to older sis, pillow+Webster's+golden child head=the rightful order has been restored.
~*Lets go to my room pig!*~
Submitted by Cookie-Slore on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:59am.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:18am.
WHERE"S THE OTHER BABY!!!
This is what I was originally going to ask! I know that they reported being pregnant with twins...are they hoping no one will notice? Did this one eat the other one?!?!?
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You know what? That's right! They said "twins" for a couple of weeks and then, nothing.
What DID happen to the twin?
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Congratulations to the birth mother and to The Travoltas.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Okay, some people believe that Kelly really was NOT pregnant, but was faking it.
But I saw this on a tabloid and I believe this story moreso... Kelly had her tubes tied, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have uterus. She got an egg from one of her scientology friends and John's sperm (because John is WAY too arrogant to raise another man's child) and she was impregnated in that way.
This I believe because there is NO WAY I believe that John has had sex with Kelly in YEARS!!!
And another thing... did you notice he gave the child a NORMAL name. Not Jet Jr., no Boeing, no Lockheed. But Benjamin. No crazy celebrity name (I'm sure Katie wishes she could change Suri's name), but a regular name. And for that, I am grateful. *s*
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Hospital? Don't they mean all-white, noiseless suite on the mothership S.S. Whackjob?
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
Travolta would have to be bisexual because he is able to freely have sex with both men and women. Right?
So, is L Ron Humbuggery passing out cigars?
[Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar, but not when it's up Revolta's ass.]
Submitted by borg queen on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:05am.
Yeah, I always thought it was him. When Jett died and he admitted the kid was autistic, I thought, "He has one foot out the door." Too bad he didn't come all the way out, both of the closet and Scienobotology.
You have my sympathy, Benjamin. I'd say it to your little face, but I know I'd be beaten to the floor by Scienobot minions for making a noise that will scar you for life.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Somehow I seriously doubt Ella Bleu (*gag*) is that thrilled. She had finally succeeded in being the only child and now this? Watch your back, Benjamin!
I wonder will the truth about the women who carried Ben ever come out?
Do you think Ben and suri will get married?? Maybe have cult babies themselves.
Ella Bleu? French is a beautiful language, but not all of its words are pretty-sounding. Ella Bluh!
I really don't feel happy for them about their new baby. That baby is going to be put through a life of fuckery with his adoptive parents' cult lifestyle and sham marriage.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
James Haven was there for the blessed event. James Haven took a few courses in First Aid and J.T. thought it would be best if James Haven was on hand incase anything got "ookie" (that is J.T.'s favorite word). Anycrazyscientologist, James Haven wore his best scrubs and arrived on time along with his MaryKay bag incase anyone needed a makeover.
Kelly was preped in bed wearing antennas so she would be able to receive waves of incouragement from L. Ron himself! James Haven asked if a Ouji board would be more practical but was shushed by Katie Holmes who was on hand for moral support. Ha! all she did was sit there and gnaw on an apple and comb a dolls hair.
When the time came, J.T. was so overcome with emotion that he fainted into the arms of Sir Tommy (who was also on hand for who the hell knows what!). Sir Tommy laid J.T. on the floor and began to give mouth to mouth. James Haven has been on hand for many mouth to mouth scenes since he tried out for Baywatch many times and knows full well resuscitating someone doesn't take and hour and half and there is certainly no humping involved. Nasty!
When it was all over a child was born and a star from the east led three wise men...oh...wait...wrong story. When it was all over we noshed on Krispy Kreme's and hot cocco!
Happy Thanksgiving you crazy bitches!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 11:04am.
which the Revolta's quickly issued a statement saying they were not having twins, just a singleton.
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Ooohhhh
I missed that statement...I was still convinced there was a litter coming because that was all I saw in the rags and all the blogs. But this cult being so shady...I still wouldn't put it past them to hide a baby (or kill it) if they learned before hand that it was coming with problems like Jet ...so claiming that everyone was lying and there was only one baby is an easy way to cover that up...could be the tale of the Man in the Iron Mask allover again. Oh well enough conspiracy theories.
"Arrested for Prostitution!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dOLUhHfuCwfeature=related
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Borg - or murderer for that fact.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:26am.
I hope they don't kill this one! ( someone had to say it! )
bwahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahha
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
I wonder when jt gets a cock in his ass does he scream? I wonder when he shoots his cum juices in his lovers mouth does he scream & moan?
When his lover sticks it in his mouth does he squeal with delight? But a woman shooting a 8lb baby
She has to have a ball gag in her mouth.
What is the appeal for women to join this church
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 11:03am.
Submitted by borg queen on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:05am.
I read a blind item about a male actor that lost a child which made him want to come out but the wife got pregnant to force him to stay in closet. I always felt it was Travolta. Poor guy
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The thing that makes me think this might be true is that durning his extortion case in the death of Jett, he had to admit, on the stand, that Jett was indeed autistic, something they had BOTH lied about for years and tried to cover up as Scientology doesn't recognize "brain disorders" and having to admit lying about something that important, which made him out to be a douchebag asshole parent, coming out of the closet as gay must not seem THAT bad anymore.
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I agree being gay is nothing to be embarrassed about but being a "douchebag asshole parent" is something to be embarrassed about.
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Wok out with your cock out!!
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:56am.
I don't buy 100% that Kelly actually carried the baby or gave birth, BUT, wouldn't they probably have other frozen embryos leftover from their previous IVFs? We all know they didn't have the first two naturally. She could have been turkey basted, but if they had the embryos in "storage", couldn't she just pop one in even if she is fucking old?
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This is what Octomom did. And this bitch still has a few more embryos frozen
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Wok out with your cock out!!
Aaaaah thanks guys for making me feel better about no being over the moon for these two psycho dirty assholes. <3
And on the teins note...yah where IS the other one? Fucking creeps.
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Spicey - on the twin's thing.
I too originally thought they said they were having twins, but it was Us Weekly, or In Touch (one of those rags) that said they were having twins, which the Revolta's quickly issued a statement saying they were not having twins, just a singleton.
Submitted by Spoiled on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:11am.
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Wow, that's so f*cked up,I don't even have words to express the eepy-cray factor involved.
Submitted by borg queen on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:05am.
I read a blind item about a male actor that lost a child which made him want to come out but the wife got pregnant to force him to stay in closet. I always felt it was Travolta. Poor guy
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The thing that makes me think this might be true is that durning his extortion case in the death of Jett, he had to admit, on the stand, that Jett was indeed autistic, something they had BOTH lied about for years and tried to cover up as Scientology doesn't recognize "brain disorders" and having to admit lying about something that important, which made him out to be a douchebag asshole parent, coming out of the closet as gay must not seem THAT bad anymore.
Miss T is starting to look like Liberace!
Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:18am.
WHERE"S THE OTHER BABY!!!
This is what I was originally going to ask! I know that they reported being pregnant with twins...are they hoping no one will notice? Did this one eat the other one?!?!?
"Wrapped in neon pink Lycra and tied with a ribbon made of the moist gusset from a glittery thong."-MK
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 9:18am.
I'd freakin die if my name was Hella Blue Cheese.
lmaooooooo
"Wrapped in neon pink Lycra and tied with a ribbon made of the moist gusset from a glittery thong."-MK
How can they say the baby is healthy if their stupid cult doesn't allow for the baby to have any medical testing for like 10 days or some shit?
Fuck these assholes and their replacement of Jett.
I don't buy 100% that Kelly actually carried the baby or gave birth, BUT, wouldn't they probably have other frozen embryos leftover from their previous IVFs? We all know they didn't have the first two naturally. She could have been turkey basted, but if they had the embryos in "storage", couldn't she just pop one in even if she is fucking old?
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
I could not care less about these two freaks. It makes me sick that this cult they belong to slams gays yet many of its highest-profile members ARE gay/closeted but that's okay because they bring in so much money. And as far as these silent births go, I defy ANYONE to be completely quiet unless they're unconscious. When I was pregnant with my first, I promised that damn nurse a new car if she would just slip me some drugs. Bitch had the balls to laugh and say another woman promised her a house and she didn't cave.
*sniff*
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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks
Submitted by parissucksliterally - right? I know she has a middle name, but they can't just call her Ella?
And how come Jett never even had a middle name? And why doesn't Benjamin? Or Suri for that matter?
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:14am.
"Ella Bleu?" wtf. That sounds like a type of cheese.
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right? I know she has a middle name, but they can't just call her Ella?
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You fondle my trigger, then you blame my gun
-Fiona Apple "Limp"
Lisa Marie P. kid is named Benjamin too. I wonder if it has Scientology Cult meaning like Suri does? (Suri England)
Congrats to the Revoltas on their new purchase. Let's hope they care for this little guy better than the last.
I hope they don't kill this one! ( someone had to say it! )
Excerpts from Artie Lange's "Too Fat To Fish":
"I shot a scene with Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston, both of whom were total douche bags."
"I'll never forget how fucking insanely rude Tom Cruise and Kelly Preston were."
"She only chit-chatted with Tom between takes. I might as well have been a tree with a pile of dogshit at the base of it. Her elitist attitude extended to every facet of her existence."
And I can't believe the stuff he wrote about Tommy Girl.....wait, actually, I can.....
WHERE"S THE OTHER BABY!!!
For the longest time these bitches have been reporting that they were expecting twins...and now there's only one child???? Did the surrogate get to keep one of the babies? There's something really fishy here and it is not Kelly's snatch.
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"Arrested for Prostitution!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dOLUhHfuCwfeature=related
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wtf is blue cigars? Do I need to google? will I get blue muffin pancake or whatever shit?
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Spoiled on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:11am.
Artie Lange shared this story from the set of "Jerry Maguire":
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oolol Artie killed Jett!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
"Ella Bleu?" wtf. That sounds like a type of cheese.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Submitted by Spoiled on Wed, 11/24/2010 - 10:02am.
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And the moral of the story is that even Artie Lange would have been a better parent to that kid.
Great story.
i'm over the fucking moon.
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OH SHIT ITS DARREN SHAWPUH, ONE OF THE MOST HARDEST HITTING SAFTYS IN DA LEAGEEEEE!
Better start contributing to Benjamin's therapy fund now, coz he's gonna need a helluva lot of it.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West