The Picture Of Maternal Grace: Kim Zolciak's Knocked Up Ass Smoking A Cig
The Real Housewives of Atlanta's resident wigcrow Kim Zolciak has already denied away on her Twitter that this picture from TMZ was taken while she had a money order, I mean, fetus, brewing in her womb. According to TMZ, Kim was caught sucking on a fag at the Georgia Dome on November 7th, just a couple of weeks before she made her blessed baby announcement on the cover of Life & Style. But Kim, who used to be a nurse, says that TMZ must be boozing and bonging while blogging again (like there's any other way?), because the dates are all kinds of mixed up.
Let's say TMZ isn't wrong with their date, is it really such an awful thing (yes, it is)? If you knew that in a few months you'd be wearing a custom-made wiglette and baby rouge, wouldn't you need to numb the stress with some nicotine? Kim is probably wondering why her baby is kicking at her stomach so early. Baby isn't trying to karate kick its way out. It's trying to let her know in Morse code to send a bottle of something strong up there!
Besides, it could be a lot worse. The picture could be of Kim playing "Google Me" for her unborn baby.
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*sigh* If this bitch can't give up a dangerous vice for the sake of her unborn child, she needs to have her lady parts ripped from her body, and she needs to be strangled with her own fallopian tubes.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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is that a hospital bracelet or is that left over from clubbing the night before?
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
That's a man, right? No way that beast is pregnant.
Submitted by IrishFury on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 1:41pm.
I love the way people with kids assume kidless folk have highly exciting lives and those without kids assume that parents do nothing but change nappies and clean barf all day. When you have to argue polar opposites then you don't have much of an argument, because so much of life is middle ground whether we radicals like to accept that or not.
Many of us here were "raised" by abusive, shit parents (me included) so why does everyone assume that if parents are crap, then who gives a shit about the baby since with it's DNA - they have no hope anyway. Uh, bullshit, thank you and I have proven that, I hope, by my life now and the choices I make.
I hope to God this Tranny does not drink and smoke in pregnancy. We all know it's childhood is going to suck due to environment so the best she can do is give it a decent physical/medical start.
And quite frankly, it's not everyone's dream to get drunk every Friday night, have Coke for breakfast and watch Netflix all day.
(Oh my God, that's SO my dream but I have three kids now so I have to pretend it's not but I hate you who did that this weekend!!! Ah, I miss dem days!!)
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LOLOL. Loves this! Same here, dysfunctional fam but I evolved. You shoulda seen me yesterday put my food down w/ a irrational fam member!
*sits in winter jammies with IrishFury w/ national geographic subscript., pizza, wine, bailey's, hazelnut coffee brewing, soda, chicken pot pie in the oven, the chirrun's room-sized playpen nearby filled w/ games/crayons/glitter and netflix of The Notebook, then Ali-G*
Cheers to The Dream!
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"....Papa is going to sit Jessica down and lay 10 Twinkies out on the table....." -MK c.11.2010 (good damn luck w/ that all-out attempt at a prenup talk w/ the Chest, papa. lmaolol!!)
And what is it with her older daughter who constantly eats with her mouth open. There was a really long scene while she ate ice-cream and I nearly barfed watching her talk with gobs of ice-cream in her pie-hole. If that was my kid, I'd clamp that mouth shut while they ate.
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Dark-sided!
I love the way people with kids assume kidless folk have highly exciting lives and those without kids assume that parents do nothing but change nappies and clean barf all day. When you have to argue polar opposites then you don't have much of an argument, because so much of life is middle ground whether we radicals like to accept that or not.
Many of us here were "raised" by abusive, shit parents (me included) so why does everyone assume that if parents are crap, then who gives a shit about the baby since with it's DNA - they have no hope anyway. Uh, bullshit, thank you and I have proven that, I hope, by my life now and the choices I make.
I hope to God this Tranny does not drink and smoke in pregnancy. We all know it's childhood is going to suck due to environment so the best she can do is give it a decent physical/medical start.
And quite frankly, it's not everyone's dream to get drunk every Friday night, have Coke for breakfast and watch Netflix all day.
(Oh my God, that's SO my dream but I have three kids now so I have to pretend it's not but I hate you who did that this weekend!!! Ah, I miss dem days!!)
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Dark-sided!
her other two spawn are fat..so she isnt exactly mother of the year...
anyhow..my bosses wife smoked through 3 bouts of cancer...and my unions insurance paid for about a half a million of treatment for the bitch who never has worked a day in her life... so smoke that up my ass... life isnt fair
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 1:19am.
God...and I thought Mother, Jugs and Speed was just a movie.
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WHOA that was back in the day!!!!
Truly, who finds any of these women fuckable? He looks like a dude.
Most of the Real Housewives, including this one look like horsefaced trannies. Who the hell would even find them fuckable?
This is some in vitro shit here.
God...and I thought Mother, Jugs and Speed was just a movie.
Is anyone else getting a tranny vibe from this pic? I don't think that's really her to be honest...I know she's had tons of plastic surgery but I don't recall watching RHOA and thinking for a moment she could possibly be a he.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by Miss Thang on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 2:06pm.
"Plenty of female smokers who get knocked up keep smoking. They use that old excuse "My doctor told me quitting would be more traumatic to my health than smoking." Right. They are usually white trash, have bad bleach jobs and didn't finish 10th grade."
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I see you've met my least favorite co-worker.
Something just seems..."off" about Kim, and I'm not just talking about the fact that she has man-like features and plastic hair.
KZ reminds me of the kind of "mother" a former friend of mone was. Yeah, she'd buy herself all kinds of shit on her married lover's dime but when her teenaged daughter needed (and I'm not kidding) a box of tampons, she'd tell her to stuff her underwear with toilet paper. When she needed a damn TOOTHBRUSH, her mother would say she didn't have any money and her kid should get a job. You can't front your 16 year old daughter TOOTHBRUSH money???? Bitch was drivin' a Beemer, livin' in a quarter million dollar condo (all courtesy of somebody else's husband), but she can't go to fuckin' ass WallMart and buy her kid bottom shelf tampons and a damn TOOFBRUSH??? *huff, huff, huff*...I'm about to whoop a trick right about now...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
This is a dude. Never really noticed it till I saw shim smoking. But that's a guy's face under all that eyeliner and a defo man hand alert!!
thanks AlohaGirl....now I can't stop looking at that creepy disembodied morgue hand of hers. Grossness.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
I am so glad to be in a place where I can come and say, I AM NOT FIT TO BE A MOTHER can't anybody else around me can see that? My MIL is always telling me I have to get one and everybody else agrees, has any of those people seen me??? .
I'm glad I'm not alone.
....But that’s vulgar and gross to me: exploding assholes, exploding brains. And Christian sites are vulgar to me, too. Michael K
What the fuck is wrong with her hand? I am not so much talking about the color of it, I get the whole spray tanning issue, but look at the size of that paw!?! holy shit, it looks like somebody photoshopped the hand of Chewbacca on there!!! Shit, if I were a dude, there'd be NO WAY in hell that I would let that elephantitis-ridden appendage near my schlong! No way!
What the fuck is wrong with her hand? I am not so much talking about the color of it, I get the whole spray tanning issue, but look at the size of that paw!?! holy shit, it looks like somebody photoshopped the hand of Chewbacca on there!!! Shit, if I were a dude, there'd be NO WAY in hell that I would let that elephantitis-ridden appendage near my schlong! No way!
Submitted by Khandi on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 4:06pm.
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I'm hooked on it also and I also think Kandi is the only 'real' one in the bunch. I live for Phaedrea (sp?) and her particular brand of Bullshit. That woman is so freaking fake...
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Personally I quite enjoy watching Shereé and Kim, for some reason. Shereé puts on posh airs and thinks of herself as classy while the truth is, her phoney fake French name says it all. KIm is like a character from a John Waters movie, like, you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you cant take trailer park out of the girl. I mean, that photo is a riot.
More women smoke and drink while pregnant than you would think. We have so many women come in for ultrasound that just reek of smoke or have that hangover flop sweat going on. The tweakers are the worst-they don't even bother lying about it either. 95% of the babies born to those women are perfectly fine. The other 5% are messed up but to be honest with you, their babies have the same problems as those born to mothers who don't drink, smoke or use drugs.
Where the fuck in America can you still smoke inside???????
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
Submitted by get serious on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 1:25pm.
1) Do I have to choose just one? Can I choose both?
2)I think 99% of the reality world should be sterilized anyway, and that remaining 1% is Kandi.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Wow, that is an unflattering pic. The ironic thing about her being pregnant is that pic makes her look like she needs HRT.
Thank you Sonne. Couldn't believe what I was reading on this thread. Some actually implying that other's were stupid or lacked 'brain power' because they had kids... some choose to have, some don't, it's all good.
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... Well I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch! - Stewie.
I don't agree with smoking or drinking large amounts of alcohol while pregnant but it wouldn't surprise me if some of the crap they put in food now, like aspartame as just one example, is way worse for the growing baby. There's so much more poison in processed food now not to mention hormones in meat, etc., that it's a wonder anyone comes out healthy anymore.
Respect for the people here who choose not to have children. If you know you don't want them or think you shouldn't, you're doing the right thing! Yes, I have kids and it ain't easy. There are moments I envy you all even though I wouldn't change having them. I'm sorry some people don't understand it's ok to choose different paths in life.
I just can't believe these bitches are on TV and making more money than I am .... what an amazing example this women is ... God I'm soooo sick for those stupid ass reality shows polluting TV!!!! And I get sickens me too see that my friend, who is so caring and would make the best mother can't get pregnant, but that whore can ... crazy!
I have two three word sentences for this trainwreck
1) TIE YOUR TUBES
2) MORNING AFTER PILL
She is a total and complete trainwreck and I just hope and pray her kid turns ut o.k. I feel for kids of trainwreck parents... Kim, Prositution Whore-ah, and The Empress of Lucite,and of course White Oprah, Kris "Control Freak/Hitler" Jenner, and Parasite's mom are truly the worse of the worse of motherhood. Kim Z. is next up for that award,and the way she is already going for it by smoking while preggers tells me she is a shoe-in for this years award!!
I watched RHW Atlanta for the first time the other day - sorry, this bitch cracked me the fuck up! Calling Nene a moose...OK, not that she's one to talk, but this bitch is funny. And pregnancy is stressful - who cares if she has a cig here and there? It's not like the baby is ever going to grow into a prize considering who it gets its DNA from and who will be parenting it - might as well learn the ways of trash from the womb.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Submitted by Emeriesan on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 3:36pm.
On that ciggie, well... I know it's not great but if she stops early enough her baby will be fine. I mean c'm'on Frances Cobain seems to have turned out pretty OK considering C Love did heroin in her early months.
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It's true that the total ban on alcohol and ciggies while preggers really picked up steam in the last decade (well, alcohol anyway - ciggies have been a no-no for longer; hordes of women smoked while pregnant in the 50's, 60's and 70's.)Up until about 15-20 years ago, doctors told you that an occasional glass of wine or a beer wouldn't hurt the baby while pregnant; You were encouraged to have a drink to help your "let-down" reflex, during breast-feeding, if you were tense. Now it's the opposite. However, I think the fact that many children were born ok decades ago when women may have drunk and/or smoked (or worse) through pregnancy, isn't an argument that it's ok; It's Russian roulette. In terms of alcohol, researchers can't predict how many drinks are bad, or at what stage of pregnancy a fetus will be affected -or even the degree of damage. So while one pregnant woman may get loaded in her 3rd month and deliver a healthy child, another will do the same and have a child stricken with Fetal Alcohol Sydrome. Prisons are full of adults with FAS. The randomness of how alcohol/drugs will affect an unborn child is a compelling argument to stay off the booze or any drug, while pregnant.
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"impacted waste, for some odd reason, I always enjoy your posts. It's like fan fiction for the farty set"~IG
What a monstrosity. I find it almost impossible to believe that any man, no matter how desperate, would be able to get the job done. How can you stay hard, faced with this hideous gargoyle? There is no paper bag sturdy enough to erase the mental imagery.
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"JUST SHUT UP!!"--my sister
Where's this bitch's other hand? No doubt holding shots of tequila...
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Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
Damn you MK, for bringing that Real Housewives fuckery into my life - now i'm hooked on that shit!
They re such a bunch of delusional and tacky assholes (except Kandi). But for some reason, deluded people make fab TV.
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I'm hooked on it also and I also think Kandi is the only 'real' one in the bunch. I live for Phaedrea (sp?) and her particular brand of Bullshit. That woman is so freaking fake...
... Well I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch! - Stewie.
On that ciggie, well... I know it's not great but if she stops early enough her baby will be fine. I mean c'm'on Frances Cobain seems to have turned out pretty OK considering C Love did heroin in her early months.
Damn you MK, for bringing that Real Housewives fuckery into my life - now i'm hooked on that shit!
They re such a bunch of delusional and tacky assholes (except Kandi). But for some reason, deluded people make fab TV.
Submitted by Miss Thang on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 2:06pm.
I thought it was for white trash too until I saw pics of Jackie Kennedy smoking while pregnant. & she'd already had miscarriages before that so you'd think shed be more careful.
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Smoking doesn't cause miscarriages but the chlamydia JFK gave Jackie certainly caused her to have multiple ones. Smoking while pregnant was just bad PR for the first lady.
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"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
Are we sure she's not a man?
Yeah she smoked, give it a rest, and call it a day
You're supposed to wait a couple of months before announcing anything. Especially when you are 42... I mean 32 years old.
My cunt ass stepmom smoked HEAVILY while she was preg with my baby bro. When she went into labor and was taking forever to dilate the doc told her to take a walk. While in labor, walking around a hospital, she smoked an entire pack. My bro was born in crazy distress, and for the first 6 or 7 years had wicked asthma and respiratory issues, and I'm pretty sure he was nic addicted because as a baby he would crawl towards anyone who was smoking around him and he used to play with cigs. Yeah, remember, I said my CUNT ASS STEPMOM.
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I have a high tolerance for pain, but it's offset by my propensity to bitch and moan to all and sundry about any discomfort I experience. - mike 11/12/2010
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 11/27/2010
People give us shit about not having kids, but damn, anyone who sees 35 minutes of our life should realize we are not cut out to be parents. I get to be the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews and that is enough. Sometimes I am like,, "Awww...how cute. My kitty cat is following me around being cuddly! Love you, too, kitty!" Then I realize it's because her food bowl is empty. It's funny when it's your cat. When you forget to feed your kid, you get locked up.
Exactly! I can barely remember to feed my fish. It's only when I catch him out of the corner of my eye and he's swimming super fast, as if to say "Hey asshole," that I remember to throw a few flakes in the bowl.
Funny, any of my friends who have kids spend 30 minutes with me and wish they'd taken the morning-after pill. Every time I take a spontaneous road trip, a cruise, my yearly trip to Bonnaroo to eat mushrooms, spend the weekend in bed watching NetFlix, or get obliterated on a Tuesday night and call out sick the next morning, I have a friend say "You have no idea what it's like to be a single mother."
No. I don't. Thankfully I have the brain power required to control one's own fertility.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
...
The smoking will probably be the least of that baby's problems. I'm surprised she can light up so close to that plastic hair though... looks super flammable.
"Plenty of female smokers who get knocked up keep smoking. They use that old excuse "My doctor told me quitting would be more traumatic to my health than smoking." Right. They are usually white trash, have bad bleach jobs and didn't finish 10th grade."
I thought it was for white trash too until I saw pics of Jackie Kennedy smoking while pregnant. & she'd already had miscarriages before that so you'd think shed be more careful.
http://bart.themcphersons.net/pics/gp/JackieSmokingWeb.jpg
Idk, I think we're TOO careful with our kids nowadays, that's why they turn out to be such weaklings.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
She sort of looks like the empress of lucite... but not as empress-like.
Heh, my mother smoked when she was carrying me, and I turned out alright... in fact, I'm the only one among my siblings who doesn't have asthma, and she quit smoking for them. I'm sure I'm not the general rule, though. I also have a friend whose mother was an alcoholic and she has the most amazing resistence to alcohol like, ever. She drinks loads and is never drunk. I don't know whether the two facts are related, although she says they are.
But yeah, poor form, Kim Z.
I don't smoke, but I do like my drink on and I can go weeks without eating any fruits or vegetables (I tell my judgemental vegan friends that I'm a tofu rights advocate)... I don't know whether I could change my habits for a kid, at least, certainly not now. Then again I wouldn't probably have a kid now, so...
A lady who works in my building smoked while pregnant. It didn't seem to phase her co-workers at all. I would be on break smoking and minding my business when she and her friends would come out for a nicotine fix. The first time she lit up while visibly pregnant I got uncomfortable and beat it back inside.
My God, she is trannyish, isn't she?
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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks
Submitted by TrashyWilma on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 1:10pm.
I haven't shit out a kid precisely because I am irresponsible: I get drunk every Friday, never decline a puff or bump of the occasional offering, sleep until 2 pm on weekends, drink Nesquik syrup straight out of the bottle, spend money irresponsibly, and smoke like a chimney. I know I shouldn't have a kid. Why can't the rest of the baby-obsessed world catch on?
I know right. It's almost 1 PM here and I'm on the couch still in my PJs and my hangover is finally fading away. I had cake and a Coke for breakfast. DH is playing Xbox with another child-free couple we know, I didn't even know he knew some of the obscenities coming out of his mouth and we're jamming out to The Dead Weather.
People give us shit about not having kids, but damn, anyone who sees 35 minutes of our life should realize we are not cut out to be parents. I get to be the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews and that is enough. Sometimes I am like,, "Awww...how cute. My kitty cat is following me around being cuddly! Love you, too, kitty!" Then I realize it's because her food bowl is empty. It's funny when it's your cat. When you forget to feed your kid, you get locked up.