Taylor & Jakey Take Their Love To Nashville
Looking like a brother and sister trying to decide if mom would rather have the caramel cinnamon latte or the spicy hot chocolate, Taylor Swift and Jakey Gyllenhaal continued to brew their new love (Taylor can use that shit for her song about Jakey) at Fido in Nashville, TN this weekend. AND this was after they spent their Thanksgiving morning sipping on maple lattes at Gorilla Coffee in Park Slope. What the fuck is with them and lattes?
Jakey obviously gets the giggles when the foam tickles his top lip and nothing makes him happier than watching the hard wand steam the cream (wink wink). And sipping on a latte makes Taylor feel like a warm cloud of puppy fur is hugging her soul from the back. She probably wrote that same sentence in her Precious Moments journal.
You know, these two make the opposite of sense, but I'm just going to go with it. I'll even ignore Jakey making a "The fuck is with my life choices?" face in the picture above.
Source: Fadeintoday via TSD
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Jakey should win an Oscar for most flops in a row.
Of course he'd just run up on stage and lie down with his mouth open, giggling until he realized it wasn't that kind of flop.
Jake could stand to man up a little. The only way hey can stay relevant now is via the women he dates? And what does a man his age want with a girl who has a vacancy sign flashing above her head? Stupid is as stupid does. In this case, stupid is Jake and the other stupid is Taylor.
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Is Jake G our generation's Rock Hudson? He just tries too hard with these broads. Taylor has issues or is a closet lez who can't come out to her fans.
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I think Jakey really wants a squeaky clean white picket fence and 2.5 children.
Remember, the alleged reason he and WhitheredPoon broke it off was because he wanted to get married and make more babies.
It's possible there maybe wedding bells and baby news for these two in < 2 years.
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit, but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
I've heard some chatter about the age difference, but I don't really see it being that big a deal. She turns 21 in a few weeks and he turns 30 just 6 days later.
Brad & Angie are 12 years apart and no one cares.
It probably just seems a big deal because he's been around awhile (he seems older than 29) and she recently hit fame as a teen.....
Either way, I expect this to flame out within 6 months.
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"If you asked me if I loved him, I'd lie. "
— Taylor Swift
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"He'll never fall in love he swears as he runs his fingers through his hair, I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong."
— Taylor Swift
When alone, they probably don't know what to say to each other. Awkward silences followed by a random, "Hey Taylor.. want strip tease for me while singing?" Then she hops up from her chair, excitedly putting her mug of hot chocolate down with extra marshmellows and goes, "Ok!" Then they get all hot and bothered afterward and then she starts crying and says she can't do it and then takes her stuff and leaves. Then Jakey shrugs his shoulders and calls up Witherspoon and says, "Hey, think you can call up your babysitter to take your kid for the night? I kinda need a little.. you know..."
Are we supposed to believe they are dating now? HA!
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Submitted by pop
she's so... calculatedly girly and innocent
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Exactly! I'm a jaded fuck, and try to keep it to myself to keep from dumping on others, but this is exactly why I don't like Swift. That fake, marketed innocence, all while writing songs about the people she's dated for revenge--so immature. That's also why I don't like the Jonas Brothers. They're all pure and "virginal", yet they hop from girlfriend to girlfriend with no gaps in between (as if that's better). So obviously fake, yet that crowd eats it up.
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You're welcome to your opinion unless it differs from mine.
"Apparently they were only there for 30 minutes but she was incredibly touchy feely the whole time, rubbing his shoulders etc. but Jake didn't reciprocate at all. She said Taylor was so touchy it became uncomfortable to watch."
Change the "Smith" to "Lautner","Kitsch" or "Hackford" and the reciprocation would have been a thousandfold.
I think Jake goes out with her in public so that she doesn't create a nasty little teenage angst song about him.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
He's promoting a movie and she's releasing an album. If his agent wants press, why not let Jake be photoed kissing Austin Nichols - his real girlfriend?
Obviously, she's a Jennifer Aniston clone. "Why doesn't anybody love me, boo hoo!"
The fact that she writes the songs and they sell doesn't prove she's smart - it's entirely more likely her audience is dumb.
I think she's cute... even though she's a bit on the thin side, and she's probably an evil bitch under all that niceness. An odd pairing, but you never know what attracts people to each other. Each man I've gone out with was totally different in looks and personality to the previous one. If you click, you click
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
Weren't there rumors that she lost her virginity to douchebag John Mayer? I don't think she is as innocent as she portrays herself to be to the tween crowd who made her a millionaire many times over. She is an adult who seems to have dated a good number of men for her age. I doubt Jake is gay. I read that he is actually quite immature and that was one of the reasons why Witherspoon dumped him. It seems to make sense that he wants a younger woman after dating someone as serious as Witherspoon. But these two don't seem to have much chemistry or anything in common. This definitely will not last long.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 3:49am.
Isn't he like...40?
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I thought so too but i was shocked to learn he was born in 1980! Was going to post something about creepy old men preying on pretty teenage girls, but in fact there's just 9 years between them.
Someone who was there posted on another site how overly affectionate Taylor was with him. Apparently they were only there for 30 minutes but she was incredibly touchy feely the whole time, rubbing his shoulders etc. but Jake didn't reciprocate at all. She said Taylor was so touchy it became uncomfortable to watch. Looks like her stage 5 clinger behavior is kicking in already.
Isn't he like...40? Looks like she's THE beard for hire in H'wood.
I don't know what people see in this little girl. Her music sucks and she's odd looking.
Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 8:30pm.
I don't think the age gap is a big deal. It's just that Taylor acts like an 8th grader who has never had a boyfriend and Jake tends to be serious and "mature." ________________________________
Thank you! Someone's on my team with this one. It has nothing to do with how old they are but their personalities and the way they act. These two appear to have nothing in common at all.
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Ain't no cellphones in '69, man. I'm head to toe legit.
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I honestly think she is still a virgin. I've read some blinds that also point that way. I know Jake is suppose to be gay, but I've never had that vibe and I'm usually good at that stuff. They seem like nice people, so whatever.
Now that I think about it, TS sort of has a Mimi complex, minus the spanx and less batshit.
She reminds me of those chicks that wear purity rings they get from their daddies at age 12 and go "why golly jeez dag nabbit!".
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
jakey poo has always had different/random tastes in women.
1. kiki dunst
2. and now swifty.
both you think "what the?"
anyway, only explanation is. both kiki and taylor must do and like some kinky shit in the bedroom and you know deep inside jakey poo is a kinky filthy ass-to-mouth kinda guy.
and if these two bitches are down with that, OF COURSE he is gonna date them.
and you know swifty would be a raging nymph in bed! she sings all the sweet "romeo and juliet" songs and shit, and then in the bedroom she does ass-to-mouth, dirty sanchez, sucks mentos out of the coochie, takes a dump on his chest ETC.
I really don't think he's gay. Nobody thought he was until "Brokeback Mt."
I just don't see why he's dating a chick who's still part of the tween crowd. I mean, do they have anything in common besides good bodies?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
She's the 'it' girl these days. Guys who want to be hip and relevant with the younger generation need to be seen with her. Nothing more.
She's a virgin; he's gay... NEXT!
"Aw, shucks, we're just so gosh darn cute!"
We all know that he is just hanging with her because she knows Jacob Black. Jakey is Team Jacob all the way!
This pairing is just so random, I just cant get used to it..lol
Submitted by TexnDoc on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 10:57pm.
And it looks as though 2011 is going to be a very productive year for her as well...so far she has concert dates set up from March through October.
That girl has Lady Gaga money. I'd bet no one comes close to what those two bank these days. Joe Jonas was an idiot.
Submitted by TyInTenn on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 10:48pm.
Yes...it was on a trip that took us about 3/4 way across the US...great times!!
@Manimal5 - Graceland is in Memphis - about 300 miles to the west of Nashivlle.
Jakies pairings are getting a bit like 5-Steps to Kevin Bacon - eventually there's going to be some cross-breeding there.
I was in Nashville once in my life and from what I remember it was a lot of fun. There was one main street that seemed to have endless bars and live music...needless to say I did a lot of bar hopping.
Also while I was there I went to see Graceland...awesome...again Nashville was a blast.
I hope it hasn't changed too much since then!
Kanye is less annoying than the giraffe who is as infintely boring as Chinifug.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 8:45pm.
she's so weird looking to me. She has such pretty features individually, but all together in her face, it just doesn't work.
Trust me PSL...it works!!
They've gotta be doing the horizontal mambo together.
Submitted by Gem on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 9:08pm.
God only knows what these two talk about when they're actually alone together
They probably play Barbies and give each other facials.
He needs to be with a real woman... like ME!! pick ME!!!!
I dont get the gay vibe from him either...
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
she's not me
God only knows what these two talk about when they're actually alone together
Haaaa Haaaa MK, as always spot on!!!!
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
she's so weird looking to me. She has such pretty features individually, but all together in her face, it just doesn't work.
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What it all comes down to, is that everything is just fine fine fine
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving a high five
THEY ALWAYS GET LATTES CUZ TAYLOR ISNT OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK
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I whip it good!!!
Oh, Lord. Come on, Jakey. You need a woman, not some little girl.
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"I was born with glitter on my face
My baby clothes made of leather and lace"
I don't think the age gap is a big deal. It's just that Taylor acts like an 8th grader who has never had a boyfriend and Jake tends to be serious and "mature." The whole thing feel so fake and embarrassing.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
You know, some guys are into the 'virginal' thing. Taylor's not a virgin, but she's probably putting out that 'Let's wait' thing, and he's probably used to chicks (or maybe dudes) giving it to him like free Willy, so her act is intriguing him.
It's like the mom of a friend of mine said about marrying her husband, 'I let him chase me till I got him'.
Still hating them as a couple, not that I think it will last, so it doesn't really matter. I agree with joeschmoe in thinking that "I can see what she sees in him because he's gorgeous but I have no idea what he would see in her."
I also don't think he's really gay.
If this is a ruse to have us think Jake is straight, it sure as hell is doing the opposite!
"Looking like a brother and sister trying to decide if mom would rather have the caramel cinnamon latte or the spicy hot chocolate" is right, MK!
So it would seem Taylor Swift is a professional beard. First Joe Jonas, then Taylor Lautner, now Jakey - if we're to believe all three like their own parts better.
Is it just me or does Taylor look like the cute girl from the trailer park with those wavy bangs? She should glue that straight wig to her head.
Jakey definitely has a beard type, doesn't he?
Blond with a very small frame and who appears to have nothing in common with him. I mean, Dunst? Witherspoon? Now this? Yeah, right, I'm totally buying he ain't gay.