Madge's Hard Candy Gym Opens In Mexico City
Madge just so happened to be in Mexico filling her face with FDA-banned fillers and stuffing boy toy huevos into her cheeks for winter, so she slid on over to Mexico City to cut the ribbon on her new Hard Candy gym! Wearing an ensemble directly from Dress Barn's Black Friday sidewalk sale, Madge's eyes filled with gold sparkly dollar signs as she welcomed all the suckers who are paying a one-time fee of $830 (that includes two months) and then $160 a month after that to work out under her roof. Si, $160 a month! All together now: SANTO DIOS!
With $830, do you know how many boxes of chicles I can buy from the local chirruns on the beach in Ensenada? Start my own chicles factory in Mehico or lift weights while Madge's music bashes into my ear hole? Hmmmmm. Anyperraloca, this is what Madge told reporters at the opening of her House of Hard Chocha:
“If any of you have seen my shows, you know that I don’t skimp on them and the same is true for the gym. We spend what it takes to make a globally first-class gym. Our plan is to use Mexico as a place to fine-tune our brand and then expand it to other countries and, in the long term, develop a global brand that includes the United States.”
I can't throw hate at Madge though. She is providing an important service. I'm sure there's hundreds of hos out there who want a pussy so strong that it could circumcise an uncut peen in one swipe. Serious Kabbalah kooch! And here's a few pictures of Madge teaching her customers that very trick.
• 
She's starting to look like an older and more restylane filled version of Courtney Love. And you can really see her facelift in those exercise pics. She should start considering ageing gracefully before the world's stuck with another bride of wildenstein.
Doesn't Mexico already have enough problems? They're already a gang infested 2nd world country. They don't need her $160/month gym, with a $830 initiation fee. Greedy cunt.
No matter how much money you have or rhubarb you eat, age is the equalizer of us all!!!
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!
God, now she has a logo.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
I'd wear that dress with some black tights and cute pumps though.
Is it just me, or has Vadge put on a little weight (which for her is not a bad thing). Not just the chipmunk cheeks, but her whole body looks like she's only exercising 2 hours a day, as opposed to 8.
She looked worse on video. Las Noticias por Adela was all over it last night and Madonna looked baaaaad. They were reporting that in that dance class, you had to send in your pic and she hand selected who would be allowed to join it. Anyhoo, there are some filthy rich (the operative word being filthy)folks in Mexico City, so I'm sure the gym will do just fine.
For $830, you too can dance around like an asshole!
Pathetic.
Then again, she always was.
It kinda pains me how illiterate toddlers today see her as an icon, thinking that just because she's been around for a 100 years now, she must have been good at at least some point back in the medieval ages.
But she really wasn't. She always was the most ordinary of the ordinary. With the only difference being, for reasons beyond comprehension her record companies spent a thousandfold of the promotion budget they would spend on any other act. And that is all there is about her.
--
You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
Submitted by SoulTaker on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 11:14am.
The bulging thigh flab blobbing out over the top of her boots is so alluring.
ewwwwwwwww thanks for pointing that out!
****************************
"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
Submitted by the_shari-est on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 11:13am.
I'm intrigued by her tooth gap...which seems to be missing. Did she get (yellowish) veneers?
----
Hey, YEAH. Where is that gap? I guess she finally got it closed up so it wouldn't detract from the rest of her flawless beauty.
Wow.. My gym is only $10/month. o.o
J'Accuse!! How come her face looks OK in the other pics - I think these photo agencies do some touch up to make things worse like the cottage cheese on Miss Phoebe's thighs (liars!) and Midge's chipmunk cheeks here. I don't dislike Madonna so I have to suspect trickery afoot.
The bulging thigh flab blobbing out over the top of her boots is so alluring.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 10:54am.
Mexico City is the 8th richest city in the world... people will pay whatever for the latest and whatever it takes to get "it"
--------------------------------
Ah. I didn't know that. Then I guess this will actually work in Vagde's favor.
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 10:59am.
one and the same:
http://dlisted.com/node/39824/images/spl230277_005.jpg
http://stayonfountain.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/babyjane1.jpg
reply • report abuse
*************
Ha ha, exactly!
I'm intrigued by her tooth gap...which seems to be missing. Did she get (yellowish) veneers?
All that pudge added to her cheeks and chin are making her nose look a little hooked...bet a nose job will be next!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"
OMGodawful. So cheek implants are popular now because female celebrities don't want to start the face lifts too early (and end up looking like Joan Rivers)? Those cheek implants make her face look fat. I understand someone wanting to stay attractive as they age but surely there's something else other than cheek implants.
She has turned into madam the puppet.
How is it that Cher looks better in the face and body then Madonna? Granted, both have been under the knife but Cher wins in my opinion.
$830 is a steep fee in a country that is more known for the very violent crime that goes on. Do people still vacation in Mexico? I would think it would be dirt cheap with all of the bad publicity.
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
she looks exactly like a chipmunk. alvin, theodore & simon could sing backup for her now but they're probably way too busy. she looks like caca.
Exercise thumbnails caption: Sweatin' with the Oldie
Ok, I'm guilty as sin, but I won't mind having those big Madonna face in a necklace.
That was the only time in Madonna's history where she was "chic".
Modern day Madonna face can be used to:
Scare cats
Scare rats
Scare possums (yep we get them in NYC)
Scare raccoons
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Poor thing...all the money in the world won't buy her back her 20's. As the photo on the earrings attest, all the money won't even buy her a reasonable facsimile of her 20's.
When will all this bitch's money finally be enough money?
one and the same:
http://dlisted.com/node/39824/images/spl230277_005.jpg
http://stayonfountain.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/babyjane1.jpg
Some Whatever Happened to Baby Jane shit right there.
$830? That's a whole lotta chimichurri sauce!
------------------------------------------------
http://www.aamyko.com
Hot Music & Hot Cocks!
In addition to everything about her face and thighs, her NAILS are filthy!!!!!!!!!
=-=-="Wah wah wah, I was attacked!"=-=-=-
the culo face!
Coma Caca!
----------------------------------
Yes! I think the bulgy fish belly thighs complete the dress ensemble. Georgeous! :p
THAT HAIR!!
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Mexico City is the 8th richest city in the world... people will pay whatever for the latest and whatever it takes to get "it"
Not that Madge was ever a great beauty, but she was decent looking and probably would have aged well enough given all the healthy stuff she's into. Now she looks like a clown.
The other day I saw an clip of Priscilla Presley (with Leslie Neilson)when she was much younger. She was gorgeous and now, again a clown. Madge-Vadge is going that way for sure. It's a very odd look these women go for. I don't get the appeal.
Her cheeks are hard candy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Don't hate on the Mexicans going to see her, y'all - they have enough shit to deal with like Vadge's abomination of a face giving them nightmares for the rest of their lives. Santo DIOS! *does sign of the cross*
This bitch? Gimme a break.
Who knew you could get a butchered boob job transplanted to the face
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 10:28am.
OMG, she's stuffed so much crap in there she looks overweight from the chin up. If she had just aged naturally, she'd be a goddess. Instead she's a joke.
************
Exactly. She looks ridiculous.
I think she may have had something done to her hands....to de-vein them! Usually she does all sorts of hand cover up things like gloves--and in these photos she is wearing that jinormous ring to call attention to her hands...not to mention she is gesturing with her hands also (not something we normally see either)..these new behaviors point to her new "confidence" with new hands! I am always interested in this subject because my hands are awful and I know there are few things that can be done about it...apparently she may have found those things!
YIKES. Forget the fillers, lady. You need cataract surgery so you can clearly see the horror show you're putting on.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 10:31am.
Oh, and that long ass parted in the middle hair is NOT helping at all....
--------
Amen! Her hair has bothered me for years on end now. It's always this too-warm, brassy blonde color with fried waves and a part down the middle. Does she ever change up the length? Get some bangs cut in and then grow them out? You know, do something other than have witch hair?
She looked better brunette during the American Life days.
She's beginning to bug me. I need to go for awhile without seeing her mug on my celeb sites.
PS - oh, and her fashion sense is horrific.
"Whose That Girl?"
****************************
"I'M A VEGETARIAN. I DON'T INGEST SUFFERING"
Submitted by NC-Ladee on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 10:03am
When you're younger your face is more rounded (chipmunk cheeks) and when you start to age it thins out. I guess that's where that trend is coming from? But most people's faces thin out after high school/early 20's. It's kind of a stupid thing for women in their 50s to think it'll work on them.
is it just me or is Madge starting to become Priscilla Presley? And that is not a compliment....
I'm curious why Mexico?
And the bottom half of her face looks like Jerry Hall. It's very strange. Isn't Jerry Hall older than her?
Oh, and that long ass parted in the middle hair is NOT helping at all....
-------------------------------------------------
You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
Her half inch of dark roots is very steady, her hair must never grow.
In other words I'm jumping on the bandwagon that thinks she has that half inch dyed to cover gray and the blonde also dyed, obviously. No-one has a permanent half inch of black roots.
Not all women go gray at her age, the wyms in my family didn't until early 60s but this trick is paying for her dark roots the same way others pay to get rid of 'em.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
OMG, she's stuffed so much crap in there she looks overweight from the chin up. If she had just aged naturally, she'd be a goddess. Instead she's a joke.
what's up with that belt?
and ... a gym? in mexico? what the fuck?
how about la or ny instead?
OMG SNOWY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
_____________________________________________
"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus