Doody (And Smoke) Break!
You know Catherine Zeta-Jones needed to give fellatio to a cigarette something bad, because she told her full-time dog shit handler that she's got this and she took her Figaro out for a caca party at Central Park yesterday afternoon. I mean, fancy ass CZJ picking up dog shit?! That's like learning Joan Collins bathes in tap water instead of liquefied diamonds.
I highly doubt CZJ even flushes the toilet herself! When she's doing what she needs to do, her white glove-wearing servants hum an aria ("I don't want to hear the plops!" - CJZ) while spritzing the room with gardenia-scented water. After she clears her throat signaling that the lady is done, they gently pick her up, carry her to the bidet and synchronize their singing voices with the powerful streams of water cleaning her ass. Just like the Bellagio! A Bellagio bidet! Then a maid scurries in and pats CZJ's SHUSH parts with a cashmere towel while keeping her eyes up! Yes, I've thought about this in detail. My jar is already filled to the top with "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" comments, so you're going to need to get another one from the recycle bin to drop your two cents in.
Yes, Michael Douglas is currently undergoing treatment for throat cancer, so feel free to throw a judgmental glare at CZJ. I'm throwing my own, but not for the cig. I'm throwing it for those ugly ass shoes. If CZJ insists on watching her dog drop one, she could at least do it with some glamour!
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and NO, I wouldn't be smoking while my husband was going through cancer treatment. I HAD CANCER. My husband sure as shit wasn't smoking or drinking through it - he dealt with it like a normal human being should.
Submitted by Inigo Jones on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 6:34pm.
For centuries, moms smoked and drank and did other odd things, yet the race somehow survived. I'm not saying it's healthful; it's just not morally bad or a death sentence for the fetus.
Yeah, but it's REAL FUCKING SELFISH. We know now that smoking and drinking causes all kinds of birth defects. They didn't know that shit back then because there wasn't something called medical science. I find anyone who smokes or drinks (drinks in excess - I'm not talking about the occasional glass of wine) to be extremely selfish and disgusting. Try thinking about your child for 9 months instead of indulging in your own selfish behaviors.
I'm about to offend anyone who smokes here. STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW. You are a SLAVE to a box of shit chemicals that you keep pouring into your body. Not only is it deplorable to smoke while you are pregnant, imagine if your own spouse was going through a battle with throat cancer? Smoking is SELFISH, it's nasty, disgusting, it makes you smell, it fucks with your body and your looks. Yeah I smoked at one time, but I know better now. I'm sick to death of breathing in your shit at every entrance to every place I go. Love yourself just a little bit and step away from the grossness that is smoking. For your health, well-being and future. It's NOT THAT HARD, and quitting is not going to kill you. You won't die. Just fucking do it already.
And I don't even want to HEAR about the health problems people have while they're sucking down a cigarette.
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Yes she DID smoke while pregnant, at least with her daughter, Carys.
Probably learned from Demi Moore, who tried to keep skinny while preggers with Talulah -her 3rd baby born at 5 lbs.
What'd they do w/o the miracle of plastic surgery?
Not to excuse her for smoking now-- I don't. But that pic of her smoking while knocked up is pretty silly stuff. It is a poor quality photoshop.
Submitted by boston61 on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 6:27pm.
Seeing her smoke that ciggy really makes me like Catherine! You go girl. How come no one ever explains why so many nonsmokers die young?? (Not that you kids should start smoking)
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Well, plenty of smokers die young too. But those who did smoke and live forever (like that French lady who lived to be over 120) would have lasted anyway because they were freaks of nature with insanely strong genes. Straight up luck of the draw.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Submitted by Trae on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 11:11pm.
I'm sorry but WTF? Bitch prolly gave him cancer forcing him to passive smoke! Ugh what a joke! If she truly loved him and her kids she'd fucking quit. Full stop!
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He was a full on heavy smoker and drinker himself back in the day. I think he quit smoking some years ago though. I agree that she should be making more of a damn effort to provide a healthier environment for her ailing hubbie. Even if they are both creppy.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Smoking looks so dumb and extra dumb when you're in her situation. She's probably mentally calculating her millions if he takes a bad turn.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/entertainment/2002812478_dlisted20...
I'm sorry but WTF? Bitch prolly gave him cancer forcing him to passive smoke! Ugh what a joke! If she truly loved him and her kids she'd fucking quit. Full stop!
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Rippy Razor Says "It's down the block, not across the street!!"
Submitted by Dolly_D on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 2:24pm.
The sick irony of it all - CZJ walking her adorable dog and potentially wearing a jacket lined in dog fur while smoking a cig as her hubby is fight stage 4 froat cancer.
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You're 100% right. It's bad enough her young kids are likely going to lose their father within the next few years (if not months), but she's risking her own health. Selfish bitch.
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 6:42pm.
If my husband was dying, I might be smoking too.......I also might be drunk and shooting heroin.
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Sans the shootin part, I hear ya. If my love was fighting death, you better believe I'll be at the hospital w/ open wine box in hand sucking shit down til I hear some fking positive shit. FK ERRYBODY in that scenario. Life is what it is.
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
If my husband was dying, I might be smoking too.......I also might be drunk and shooting heroin.
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Trolling for a new brother husband for Mr. mahaatma....
For centuries, moms smoked and drank and did other odd things, yet the race somehow survived. I'm not saying it's healthful; it's just not morally bad or a death sentence for the fetus.
In regards to smoking while pregnant.
Yes, it's bad. But doctors advise you quit BEFORE getting pregnant, and women who don't are advised to "cut back" on their smoking while pregnant because quitting can be too stressful on the fetus.
This is something a smoker friend of mine was told.
Seeing her smoke that ciggy really makes me like Catherine! You go girl. How come no one ever explains why so many nonsmokers die young?? (Not that you kids should start smoking)
Submitted by paige- Big deal, she is smoking a cig outside! Do you perfect people also hate those who are overweight and continue to eat the wrong things? Do they deserve what they get?...
The answers are "Yes" and "Yes". This is DListed, after all!
I know this was mentioned earlier, but not sure if anyone posted the Pic of Catherine Pregnant and Smoking:
http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/4953/zetakd6.jpg
Doobie.
Big deal, she is smoking a cig outside! Do you perfect people also hate those who are overweight and continue to eat the wrong things? Do they deserve what they get? Puleeze, most people have some kind of vice and this one is physically addictive. Give her a break, she's under a ton of stress. We can't all cope in the healthiest ways.
That looks like a doober more than a cigarette. The end she is putting in her mouth is tapered off and look at the ashes.
Unless she rolls her own cigs, which I doubt she does, she is smoking the good shit.
did she still just turn 40 or 42 or whatever she's been claiming for the last 10 yrs?
That seems to be a joint, not a ciggy. Look at how the end is pointed. And a cig doesn't collect ash like that at the tip.
After all her husband's been through, she still smokes? How stupid (or addicted) can you be?
CZJ ain't putting down the cancer sticks for nobody:
http://jezebel.com/297979/pregnant-and-smoking-youre-probably-depressed-...
That also explains this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1070553/From-blotchy-blemis...
CZJ has the manniest man hands EVAH!
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Grow your own dope: plant a man.
She smoked while she was pregnant. This bitch doesn't give a shit.
My dog is cuter than her dog.
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Submitted by BostonMike on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 11:32am.
If you're stupid enough to smoke, you deserve what's coming to you. Emphysema, cancer, wrinkles, nasty breath, smelly hair and clothes, yellow fingernails. Not to mention making the rest of us suffer with the nasty sceond hand smoke smell and the non-biodegradable butts you are polluting the world with. Fucking nasty.
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CO-SIGN! CO-SIGN! CO-SIGN! CO-SIGN!
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Grow your own dope: plant a man.
Her husband is fighting cancer and she's still smoking?????? First class dumb ASS!
Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
The sick irony of it all - CZJ walking her adorable dog and potentially wearing a jacket lined in dog fur while smoking a cig as her hubby is fight stage 4 froat cancer.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 11:31am.
I've tried to quit smoking twice... no bueno. Maybe if I didn't drink so much it wouldn't be a problem...
I was never a heavy smoker, but when i wanted to quit my pack a week habit, i switched to chewing tabakky.
Because it's gross you won't do it in public and on the plus side you're not coughing up a lung. It curbs you off of cigs nicely, imo. Plus you'll only spend 10$ a month on it.
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OH SHIT ITS DARREN SHAWPUH, ONE OF THE MOST HARDEST HITTING SAFTYS IN DA LEAGEEEEE!
Smoking is very hard to quit. Her husband has throat cancer and she still sneaks out for a butt. My cousin had a cancerous cyst removed and she still smokes.
I'm surprised that the dog isn't trained to walk 10 steps behind her...after all she's CATHERINE ZETA-JONES!
She keeps her ciggy habit on the dl. Both she and the hubby are/were somewhat heavy smokers.
I seriously never knew she smoked!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Yet another reason for me to loathe this twat.
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"Sometimes the dick is so good you want to put their name on your checking account."
Those before pics of CZJ are bullshit. I don't see any work done there - she's just better groomed. But that pug ugly face is still there.
So classy. Every single time I see her name I think
Cubic Zirconia Jones.
The American Cancer Society must be so pissed at her right now.
Another 5 years, the Douglas kids will be orphans! She is pathetic!
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"I get my fashion inspiration from Michael K !" Tom Ford
thumbnail #7....
what do you think czj's dog said to that other dog to make him go off like that.. _____________________________________________
Just wait til your ball sack is jangling around your knees like santa's bells and your brows are meeting your eyelids -stolen from: Urfugginjokin on Holy Moly on 10/13/10
Wow...way to derail a thread guys. Anywho...CZJ sure is sucking hard on the ciggie.
I don't smoke cigarettes, only the green...:) That way I won't get cancer and I will sure as hell feel GREAT about it.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
Submitted by Webberbear on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 11:57am.
On the Hep B vaccine:
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You should check your sources...some of the info you lifted and posted here is terribly inaccurate and contributes to the dissemination of even more misinformation on this topic. People should stick to having open conversations with their doctors (that's what you are paying them for) and seek more than one professional opinion when in doubt...and should not believe everything they read on the web, which in many cases comes from other misinformed people or one biased source.
"Arrested for Prostitution!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dOLUhHfuCwfeature=related
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@badwolf .... agreed! Hahahahhahahhaa <3
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Kind of surprised this whole thread has turned into a public service announcement. I was more amused by MK's detailed comments on CZJ's supposed toilet use. "I don't want to hear the plops!"... lol
Submitted by Chirio on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 11:57am.
I made you some pecan sticky buns and coffee. I used my Madonna thighs nut cracker to but open dem nuts myself!
On the Hep B vaccine:
"In the US, the Hepatitis B disease mainly infects intravenous drug users, homosexuals, prostitutes and promiscuous heterosexuals. The disease is transmitted by blood, through sex or dirty needles. How could a newborn baby possibly get Hepatitis B if the mother was screened and tested negative? It is almost impossible. Unless a newborn child is having unprotected sex or sharing needles with an infected junkie, it is extremely unlikely to get the Hepatitis B disease. So then why are most U.S. babies inoculated at birth by their hospital or pediatrician with the Hepatitis B vaccine? The answer is an unrestrained health bureaucracy decided it couldn't get junkies, gays, prostitutes and promiscuous heterosexuals to take the Hepatitis B vaccine so they mandated that all babies must be vaccinated at birth. Drug companies such as Merck (reaching for new markets) were instrumental in pushing government scientists to adopt an at-birth Hepatitis B vaccination policy, although the vaccine was never tested in newborns and no vaccines had ever been mandated at birth before. It is widely recognized that newborns have underdeveloped immune systems, which can be overwhelmed or shocked."
(Read previous link for entire article)
Good day. I have two special needs kids to attend to.
DEEEEEEEEEEE FU!!! ahahahaahahaha go make me some BAD breakfast!!!
Coma Caca!
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Ha! Babies have been getting their 1st Hep B vaccine usually at 15 minutes of life for at least a decade in any hospital. I suppose you could have your baby in a barn. Attitudes like that are why the HPV vaccine, which covers the four biggest cancer causing subtypes, aren't given at birth like it should be.
Submitted by Chirio on Fri, 12/03/2010 - 11:54am.
...don't give me shit!!
*returns Chiri's Christmas banana hammock and sulks off*
who gives a shit!! Everything we do is bad! so fuck offfffffffffffffffffffff. eating is bad, smoking is bad, drinking is bad....every shit is bad!! Live life however you want don't give me shit!!
Coma Caca!
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