Presenting Mel Gibson's Beaver!
For a second there it seemed like the Jodie Foster-directed The Beaver starring Mel Gibson was going to go straight into the KKK's media library, but it will blow into theaters in the Spring after all and here's the first trailer for it.
You know, I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I went in expecting to have a glum cunt look on my face throughout the entire trailer, but there's small parts of it that kind of worked for me. I mean, who doesn't love a talking dumpster beaver (just ignore that it's attached to Mel) and Frightened Rabbit? However, the part where Jodie Foster pushes a beaver away to hold Mad Mel's asshole face is ridiculous! Like Jodie would choose dickass Mel over a beaver? Shit, like any of us would choose fuckwat Mel over a beaver. On a positive note, if this shit becomes a hit, that means we'll be one step closer to an UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER movie! Nikki Cox needs another comeback.
And expect the "BLOOOOOW ME BEAVER" mash-ups in 3..2..
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Wow, I haven't been in the comments section for a long time and now I see why! How did a chimo director and the President get brought into a movie about Mad Mel putting his fist up Jodie Foster's beaver??? I'd be more upset if I wasn't in shock that a Republican from South Dakota actually reads Dlisted...hmmm?
It really shows how fucked we are if we can't even get along in the comments section of a lighthearted gossip site. We're really putting the cunt in Country.
Anyhow, onto much more serious matters...Cupcake, you wouldn't happen to be made of funfetti cake mix would you? Do you wear paper skirts or those new rubbery, plastic-like ones? There's something about you that I can't shake. I want to frost you so bad. If we're moving too fast can I just stick the frosting bag tip in? I wish I knew how to quit you.
Submitted by Its ALL About Agnes on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:42am.
WOW! With the perfect storm of decline in posts, the currently boring climate in the celebrity world in general, and the sharp downturn in the hilarity, quality, and sanity that many of the comments have suffered, this site has started to lose some of its luster lately IMO. Things have really taken an ugly turn in the commenting arena. I'm ALL FOR total cuntery, but only if it's actually funny, and not just psychotic.
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I agree. Cuntery can be fun, but when it gets personal and vile, that is when I have to look at that poster and think " Either you are a complete bitter nut job, or you are an epic fail in the comedy area, either way, you aren't quite right."
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:43am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:39am.
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Well, stand back, cuz I may have to lick your head. And I mean that in the most polite way possible. :)
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LOL! I get that a lot.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:34am.
Why in the fuck are we talking about Polanski and Obama in a thread about Mel Gibson? *scratches frosting*
Pretty much sums it up!
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Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:39am.
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Well, stand back, cuz I may have to lick your head. And I mean that in the most polite way possible. :)
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WOW! With the perfect storm of decline in posts, the currently boring climate in the celebrity world in general, and the sharp downturn in the hilarity, quality, and sanity that many of the comments have suffered, this site has started to lose some of its luster lately IMO. Things have really taken an ugly turn in the commenting arena. I'm ALL FOR total cuntery, but only if it's actually funny, and not just psychotic.
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Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:35am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:34am.
Why in the fuck are we talking about Polanski and Obama in a thread about Mel Gibson? *scratches frosting*
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Your avie always makes me laugh. It's cute. Just out of curiosity: what flavour is your frosting?
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Thanks Joe! *preens*
Umm, it's just a tinted pink butter cream. I am not real exotic! : )
Submitted by Gaza Strip on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:09am.
Hey! I wrote those dumb-ass posts drunk.
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All of the 'actors' mentioned are well-known homosexuals.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 12/05/2010 - 9:34am.
Why in the fuck are we talking about Polanski and Obama in a thread about Mel Gibson? *scratches frosting*
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Your avie always makes me laugh. It's cute. Just out of curiosity: what flavour is your frosting?
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Why in the fuck are we talking about Polanski and Obama in a thread about Mel Gibson? *scratches frosting*
You have issues Gaza!
It's Sunday morning, and I'm drunk - otherwise, I wouldn't be reading your dumb-ass posts.
@nebajnim: I read both your posts and I was nodding at the first, and laughing at the second. We like you, please stick around. :)
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On a side note:
Are you people nuts? 13 years old = too young to have sex with anyone!!! How many of you lost your virginity at that age? I have a 13 year old step daughter and would probably kill someone if they tried to have sex with her. It is disgusting, and it doesn't matter how "mature" the girl looks.
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Roman Polanski gave her QUALUDES. How many of you ever took those lemmons? They put you in a haze. The one time I got ahold of them I ended up riding a motorcycle through people's backyards because I couldn't find the road. I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A MOTORCYCLE!!! (well it wasn't mine at least) And at that time I was pretty much imune to drugs.
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Roman Polanski had Anal Sex with her. That should only be done with care. The guy is a world class creep child molester, and also is a justice skirter.
What a disaster. I was hoping that "the beaver" was going to be more of a psyco-drama type thing, not some garbage about getting your shit family back together.
I had a few ideas that would have made this pile of crap better.
1. the puppet should have been voiced by another person, the fat guy in Pinapple Express and Tropic Thunder. You know what I mean? Everyone knows that celebrity voices sell movies. It is a no brainer.
2. The beaver should be making him do crazy things, like going out and beating up muggers, or somehow over punishing weirdos.
3. The beaver should be going out and causing trouble ON ITS OWN. And then Mel gibson would wake up, see it on the news, and not be able to understand. Kind of like that WereRabbit movie, or Mr. Deeds, or The Animal (with Rob Schnider.)
4. VAMPIRES WEREWOLVES AND COWBOWS (sell movies: hello!)
Just some thoughts. All in all it needs to be more like The Shining, and Kung-Fu Panda. and Werewolves and Vampires.
I'm picturing this: Mel Gibson is being controled by the Beaver at night(his best friend by day) as the Beaver goes out and fights Vampire-Werewolves with Mel Gibson as the Beaver's puppet. Then Mel Gibson wakes up with weird cuts on him, bruises...
It turns out that the puppet was actually the spirit of a Kung Fu master who was turned into a puppet by an evil voodoo guy, and the puppet was so cursed that the little boy who had it last bit his teacher in the neck (that is how it got in the trash)
Thanks for listening.
Wow that looks like the the worst movie ever made I'm afraid.
Ooh, JulesinSD. I love people who bring up random shit like Obama without any sort of prompting or context. It makes them look very intelligent, and not at all fucking crazy. Ooh, you know the president's name! Sooo political! Unfortunately, you failed to really learn how to make a point during all your years plowing the frigid fucking soil of your detestably hick motherland. (And I'm from Nebraska, so I know of which I speak.) In conclusion, A shut the fuck up with your lame-ass fight-baiting Tea Party bullshit, and B, go to hell you blumpkin-giving country barn fuckslut cunt. It's nasty fucking piece of shit cumrag whores like your plain-jane plainswoman potato daughters that get their raggy cooches filled with yokel semen and premarital babiez when they're 11 and turn around and scream rape because they're ignant mothers don't know the difference between contraception and constipation, so I wouldn't fucking talk about the non-issue non-rape that occurred almost 40 years ago and that nobody gives a shit about but Je$u$-fucking apostluts like yourself. I guess your baby cumdumps must have learned that bang-up abstinence education you and Bristol Failin' gave them well, lol. No matter, we all know they've always been destined to grow up into piece of shit rural barfly fuckbag jizz sleeves just like their pig whore of a mother, giving herpes-filled blowjobs to truckers behind the local Wal-Mart so you can buy your klassy fucking Kathy Ireland QVC Collection shit off the teevee. What a wonderful example you've set, and I can only hope you and your nasty slut fucking brood get the full-on Jennifer Hawke-Petit treatment. Die, bitch, and may the world weep when they see what God has done to you and your skidmark daughters.
What, that was out of nowehere?!?! Ditto bitch. Ditto.
julesinSD I'm an Obama lover who believes Polanski was in the wrong. Generalize much?
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http://cocoacritic.net
This movie looks dull, cliche and contrived; so it's bound to get at least two Oscar nominations.
“He may have been legally in the wrong, but she was asking for it, and, by all acounts, enjoyed it quite thoroughly. She has said countless times now that she doesn't believe he should be held accountable, so let's all cut him some slack.”
Posted like a true, democrat, obama voter.
Love those Obama voters, they can really look the other way when it comes to the hollywood types who sodomize minors.
Just because you won an academy award over a decade ago, doesn't mean your a film director.
I was surprised it looked this good after all the smack I've read about it.
Awkward at best.
i licked a beaver
my whorey ex
FU MEL
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Ricki Lake your response is disturbing. Slutty teenager? She was flipping 13-years-old. It doesn't matter if she had sex before. Polanski drugged and had anal sex with her.
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http://cocoacritic.net
I don't know. I am pulling for him. He is in a precarious position where no matter what he does he will be criticized. He has to let his life "play out" and he has to go on. One thing that impresses me is that Mel Gibson's former wife has been quoted as saying she feels that he is a very good person who is redeemable. I'll watch the movie. I sort of liked the trailer. (The Beaver sounds like Michael Caine).
I can just picture Jodie Foster directing,"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BEAVER"? "MEL WILL YOU FIND MY BEAVER PLEASE"!!!
That looked awful, which is sad as both Jodie Foster and Mel Gibson can be good actors. See Mel in his early stuff like Gallipoli, or The Year of Living Dangerously.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 1:43pm.
*hurls into old McD's bag*
Oh man, major flashback to my party days LOLOL Thank you:)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs
Submitted by ricki lake on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 2:39pm.
Ugh. Polanski isn't a child rapist. So some slutty teenager (yes, TEENAGER) drank a bunch of his booze in the hot tub and got all naked and slutty and suddenly regretted it later. He may have been legally in the wrong, but she was asking for it, and, by all acounts, enjoyed it quite thoroughly. She has said countless times now that she doesn't believe he should be held accountable, so let's all cut him some slack. He's not at all like the disgusting and boozy Mibson, who no doubt indeed calls ALL females gross things like sugar tits and like to yell at them to blow in specific locations and sometimes like vomits all over their dogs and stuff when his alcoholic rage really gets worked up. Major grossnesses.
It makes you wonder where the heck was the TEENAGER's friggin mother when she let her go to a party filled with adults drinking and drugging. The mother wanted to whore her out to get a part in one of his movies and things got out of control. Mel makes Polanski look like a saint.
Not going to click on the trailor. Mel can shove that beaver up his rear.
Apparently I've lost my mind, because this trailer made me not only believe that Jodie Foster can convincingly play a heterosexual wife & mother, but I want to see Mel Gibson get his shit together with the help of a stuffed animal. Damn.
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"Sometimes the dick is so good you want to put their name on your checking account."
Well, it's different. No-one will pay to see it though.
No wonder Jodie was defending Mel. She didn't want to see her movie tank. But it will anyway.
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The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
So..................Mel loses his marbles in this movie and his alter personality is a puppet beaver?
PASS.
How many more movie can they make about dysfucktional families?
Exactly, Ricki Lake.
Glad Polanski won the European movie award for Ghost today, best film this year.
@ Sunshine Gang
Tell me more! I get it Black Swan is like SWF with a tutu? Is this correct?
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Auri sacra fames
I'm officially never watching another Hollywood movie. After seeing the crappy beyond belief- B horror movie- Black Swan last night, and now this. I just can't with Hollywood anymore. They consistently disappoint
MK - you and your beaver comments made me spit my coffee at the computer. Damn you funny man.
Strangely, Mel actually seems more appealing than Jodie Foster (who gets on my last nerve) and I haven't liked him since The Year of Living Dangerously.
If Mel's planning on a comeback movie a lovable dad probably isn't the best character to go with. Some sort of role where he has to wear a lot of makeup would be good so audiences could actually separate him from his character. Maybe it's just the trailer but this looks too heartwarming for me.
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Silly rabbit.
Yeah right. Like people are going pay $15 to sit in a dark room for an hour and half and watch a bitch-beat'n alcoholic like Mel Gibson with his fist up Jodie Foster's beaver.
This movie is going to be a skid mark in these actors' careers. Somebody must be hard up for cash to let this movie see the light of day.
I don't know how I feel about this either because it actually looks like an interesting concept. If Mel hadn't gone all Drunken Nazi Baby Mama Puncher, I might be more optimistic.
Hope that white bitch supremacist isn't to hard on the beaver!
Ugh. Polanski isn't a child rapist. So some slutty teenager (yes, TEENAGER) drank a bunch of his booze in the hot tub and got all naked and slutty and suddenly regretted it later. He may have been legally in the wrong, but she was asking for it, and, by all acounts, enjoyed it quite thoroughly. She has said countless times now that she doesn't believe he should be held accountable, so let's all cut him some slack. He's not at all like the disgusting and boozy Mibson, who no doubt indeed calls ALL females gross things like sugar tits and like to yell at them to blow in specific locations and sometimes like vomits all over their dogs and stuff when his alcoholic rage really gets worked up. Major grossnesses.
If the child rapist Polanski can still make a leaving, so can Mr. Gibson.
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http://cocoacritic.net
"Mr. Beaver wood chopper pet selling out in DROVES!"
Barf barf barf cutesy BARF
Looks great. Mel still has it. And it is a very interesting concept.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 1:48pm.
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 1:43pm.
*hurls into old McD's bag*
HEY, I WAS GONNA EAT THOSE FRIES!!!
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OOOPS - sorry! It's Mel's fault!!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 1:43pm.
*hurls into old McD's bag*
HEY, I WAS GONNA EAT THOSE FRIES!!!
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
*hurls into old McD's bag*
You had me at straight into the KKK media library.
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You smell like cheap weed and applesauce.
Submitted by La Profesora on Sat, 12/04/2010 - 12:39pm.
It worked for me too, some parts, I liked the parallels between his life and the character.
But then it got weird, and he cant really do off beat, and it became uncomfortable. I started picturing another actor, like Dustin Hoffman or Bill Murray or something and it worked better for me
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This. Or Robin Williams. I thought the concept was actually interesting and original too and I might have gone to see it any of those other actors would have been in it instead.
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Dlisted: Putting the HO in HO HO HO since 2005 :)
The first scene of the trailer reminded me of that Summer's Eve commercial. "Mom, sometimes I don't feel so fresh."