Morning Foolery: The Tourist Receives 3 Golden Globe Nominations
Did the Golden Globes ballots get mixed up with the Razzie ballots or did Maddox become the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association without us knowing about it, because the critical and box office flopsterpiece The Tourist got 3 nominations this morning! We now know who was smoking salvia with Miley Cyrus.
AND The Tourist got all their nominations in the comedy categories including Best Comedy/Musical, Best Actress Comedy and Best Actor Comedy. Is that mess even a comedy or did their accents push it into LOL section? And AND Johnny Depp also got nominated for playing Madge and Carrot Top's acid baby in Alice in Wonderland.
If they really want St. Angie to grace their event with her holiness, they should've just made Shiloh, Zahara or Vivi Miss Golden Globe 2010. There was no need to throw her ass a nomination. On the other hand, seeing her vein pop as she throws a divine cuntface when she loses is going to be a religious experience.
But the movie comedy categories overall are a damn mess. The comedy nominations are funnier than any of the movies nominated. The HFPA has made it easy for the Razzie committee. I mean, Alice in Wonderland, The Tourist, Burlesque and Love & Other Drugs? I'm surprised they didn't go FULL FUCKERY by throwing Sex and the City 2 and The Bounty Hunter in there. They Razzie committee can just use the movie comedy ballot as their nomination list and take the rest of the year off. The HFPA did all the work for them!
Anyway, The King's Speech got the most movie nominations with 7, followed by The Social Network and The Fighter with 6 each. On the TV side, Glee got the most with 5 nominations. The really long list of noms is after the jump. GO MELISSA LEO! GO JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT (Ha and Ha)! JUMP!
MOTION PICTURE NOMINEES
BEST PICTURE (DRAMA)
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The King's Speech
The Social Network
BEST PICTURE (COMEDY/MUSICAL)
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids are All Right
Red
The Tourist
BEST ACTOR (DRAMA)
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King's Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter
BEST ACTRESS (DRAMA)
Halle Berry, Frankie and Alice
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter's Bone
Natalie Portman Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine
BEST ACTOR (COMEDY/MUSICAL)
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist
Paul Giamatti, Barney's Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love and Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino Jack
BEST ACTRESS (COMEDY/MUSICAL)
Annette Bening, The Kids are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love and Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy A
SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech
SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King's Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom
DIRECTOR
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King's Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The Fighter
ANIMATED FILM
Despicable Me
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Tangled
Toy Story 3
SCREENPLAY
Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, 127 Hours
Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg, The Kids are All Right
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David Seidler, The King's Speech
Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FILM
Biutiful
The Concert
The Edge
I am Love
In a Better World
ORIGINAL SCORE
Alexandre Desplat, The King's Speech
Danny Elfman, Alice in Wonderland
A.R. Rahmann, 127 Hours
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, The Social Network
Hans Zimmer, Inception
ORIGINAL SONG
"Bound to You" from Burlesque
"Coming Home" from Country Strong
"I See the Light" from Tangled
"There's a Place for Us" from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
"You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" from Burlesque
PRIMETIME TELEVISION NOMINEES
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
"Boardwalk Empire"
"Dexter"
"The Good Wife"
"Mad Men"
"The Walking Dead"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Julianna Margulies, "The Good Wife"
Elisabeth Moss, "Mad Men"
Piper Perabo, "Covert Affairs"
Katey Sagal, "Sons of Anarchy"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Steve Buscemi, "Boardwalk Empire"
Bryan Cranston, "Breaking Bad"
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men"
Hugh Laurie, "House"
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
"30 Rock"
"The Big Bang Theory"
"The Big C"
"Glee"
"Modern Family"
"Nurse Jackie"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Toni Collette, "United States of Tara"
Edie Falco, "Nurse Jackie"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock"
Laura Linney, "The Big C"
Lea Michelle, "Glee"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
Thomas Jane, "Hung"
Matthew Morrison, "Glee"
Jim Parsons, "The Big Bang Theory"
BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
"Carlos"
"The Pacific"
"Pillars of the Earth"
"Temple Grandin"
"You Don't Know Jack"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Hayley Atwell, "Pillars of the Earth"
Claire Danes, "Temple Grandin"
Judi Dench, "Return to Cranford"
Romola Garai, "Emma"
Jennifer Love Hewitt, "The Client List"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Idris Elba, "Luther"
Ian McShane, "Pillars of the Earth"
Al Pacino, "You Don't Know Jack"
Dennis Quaid, "The Special Relationship"
Edgar Ramirez, "Carlos"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Hope Davis, "The Special Relationship"
Jane Lych, "Glee"
Kelly MacDonald, "Boardwalk Empire"
Julia Stiles, "Dexter"
Sofia Vergara, "Modern Family"
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Scott Caan, "Hawaii Five-O"
Chris Colfer, "Glee"
Chris Noth, "The Good Wife"
Eric Stonestreet, "Modern Family"
David Strathairn, "Temple Grandin"
(List via ROS)
• 
The Tourist was only put in the comedy catagory because of Angie's laughable accent in it.
Um, aside from the shit show that was the rest of these nominations (super excited about all the Black Swan noms though) is anyone talking about how Megamind got super snubbed?! Despicable Me was HORRIFIC, there was ONE funny line about the fluffy doll and the rest of the movie was so poorly constructed. It was borderline painful to sit through. You kept thinking, this HAS to get better right? Megamind was hilarious. Best thing Will Ferrel and Brad Pitt have done in a while. Would have seen it 12 times if going to the movies wasn't so damn expensive.
The foreign press LOVES Angelina Jolie.
"Sons of Anarchy" over that "Dead Men" zombie bore fest? That show totally rules, with great writers and a fantastic cast of actors. This season was the shit, and that ending was amazing. Also, "Justified" was shafted as was Timothy Olyphant. Piper Perabo for "Covert Affairs"? Why not nominate Kim Zolciak for "RHofATL"?
I can't believe that Aaron Eckhart was not nominated for Best Actor in "Rabbit Hole." I guess because he's private and not a fame whore. The film is receiving much praise. No Best Picture or Best Director?
And not that the movie has to be seen to be nominated but Halle Berry for "Frankie and Johnnie"?
Sometimes they get it right (Sallie Hawkins) and sometimes they get it oh so wrong (Pia Zadora, Madonna).
(Remember when Madonna won? She gushed, "I can't believe I beat Frances McDormand ["Fargo']!" Neither could I.)
The only good thing is that Randy Newman wasn't nominated.
Submitted by Lory on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:50pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:43pm.
Why are we always hens? Why can't we be roosters??!
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I resent that too.. Personally, I'd like to be a peacock...
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Me personally, I'd rather be a Capon....What? *dlister wif smarts in da brains whispers in tiger ear what a Capon actually is* SAY WHAT????? AW HELL NAW!
B-B-B-B-BAWK!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by harveyprice on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:22pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:06pm.
He fuggified himself for the movie in hopes the succubus wouldn't make advances on him.
Ha! That's exactly what I thought, that and/or Vanessa P. was definitely a part of the fugification process.
"It's my money and I want it now!"
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Hmmm my money is on Vanessa laying down the law and being on set EVERY Fucking DAY...you can't get any fuglier than Billy Bob and that did not stop Jolie from stealing him from Laura Dern.
"I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU...Eat dirt and die, TRASH!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSEntl9Ys_c&feature=related
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I think it's great that overpaid filthy rich celebrities throw award shows to pat each other on the back. Every other industry I know does the same for their top successful employees. What I don't understand is why they feel the need to televise this shit. I also don't understand what type of mindless twat watches award shows.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:43pm.
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!! ahahahahahalolololololol
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
Current Rotten Tomatoes Critic Scores:
50% 50% The Chronicles of Narnia $24.0M
19% 19% The Tourist $16.5M
88% 88% Tangled $14.3M
79% 79% Harry Potter $8.5M
86% 86% Unstoppable $3.7M
88% 88% Black Swan $3.3M
36% 36% Burlesque $3.2M
44% 44% Love and Other Drugs $3.0M
39% 39% Due Date $2.6M
71% 71% Megamind $2.5M
The Tourist's score is about half of Burlesque's, to put it in perspective.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:43pm.
Bwahahaha! Now that is hilarious. Sadly, I know of Teri Ann. le sigh
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http://thisismommyhood.wordpress.com/
yes,whamo killed this shit,bravo!
Why do they even bother to have these stupid award shows? The folks nominated are all bought and paid for.
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:43pm.
Why are we always hens? Why can't we be roosters??!
RACISM!! DISCRIMINATION!!
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Werd! I wanna be a DoDo Bird. Those can't fly either:)
♥ Threadkilla!
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.~Marlon Brando
Rooting for Emma Stone to take that shit!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
*slaps Whamo's ass on my way to a standing ovation*
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
@"Whamo's picture
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:43pm.
..This movie cost 400 million to make and a reputed 375 million for Ms Jolie’s salary.
This flop proof movie is expected to rake in 5 million in the first weekend alone or close to two billion dollars if it doesn’t snow..."
LMAO!!!! :D
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:43pm.
Why are we always hens? Why can't we be roosters??!
------------------------
I resent that too.. Personally, I'd like to be a peacock...
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
LMFAO @ WHAMO!
ROTFF.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:38pm.
Wait a second. Are Brangeloonies and spambots the same thing???
That's fucking cool.
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LOL!
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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Whamo: weather permitting.
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
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""A must-see! Hary Potter better watch out once the weather gets nice"
Larrie D" LORY
"NOTHING will EVER stop me from my know-it-all antics!" Stoney
Why are we always hens? Why can't we be roosters??!
RACISM!! DISCRIMINATION!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Apparently Angelina has a new Golden Globe nominated movie coming out called.....
45 FEET
Fans will be thrilled by this edge of your seat spy thriller comedy, and humanitarian documentary musical.
It’s the riveting story of a skeletal woman that has to brave the elements in gale force 5 mph winds and try to make the treacherous 45 foot trip to her mountain cabin’s outhouse to take a pee. The critics are crying Golden Globe in response to the tremendously moving scene of Angelina trying to overcome a shattered pelvis from being hit by a blown leave. Will she make the 45 feet? Will she ever be able to pee again? Will she fall through the hole!!??
This Oscar worthy film also stars Brad Pitt as T.P. Holder
This movie cost 400 million to make and a reputed 375 million for Ms Jolie’s salary.
This flop proof movie is expected to rake in 5 million in the first weekend alone or close to two billion dollars if it doesn’t snow.
Carrie D of loon town says...
“This is the best film ever to have been made in the history of all cinema, Angelina Jolie is a goddess that could teach God a thing or two about being God ”
Teri Ann: of loon town says...
“This is the best film ever to have been made in the history of all cinema, Angelina Jolie is a goddess that could teach God a thing or two about being God”
Ms. Lewis of loon town says
This is the best film ever to have been made in the history of all cinema, Angelina Jolie is a goddess that could teach God a thing or two about being God”
This film will open across the country on December 17th weather permitting.
On IMDB the tags are : Action, drama , thriller.
Not a word about comedy. Ouch!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1243957/
Brangeloons give me the sads. If this is what the world is coming to, I don't want to be here anymore.
*buys ticket to the Tourist, knowing it will cause death by boredom*
@Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:08pm.
Submitted by Frances Farmer on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 11:41am.
A wonderful actress and humanitarian. She's the new Audrey Hepburn. Congratualations on the nomination!
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ahahahahahahahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA HAAAAAAAAAAA
HAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Okay I see that you already get it!
haha;)
i thought emma stone was excellent in easy a, i'd really recommend that film to any dlister, really funny
Wait...The Tourist is a COMEDY?
(Hoping that Jakey or Kevin Spacey wins the Actor category.)
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"I was born with glitter on my face
My baby clothes made of leather and lace"
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 1:06pm.
He fuggified himself for the movie in hopes the succubus wouldn't make advances on him.
Ha! That's exactly what I thought, that and/or Vanessa P. was definitely a part of the fugification process.
"It's my money and I want it now!"
there was nothing witty or funny about the film and both of them were less than mediocre.
this is fishy
@Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:25pm.
hahahahahaha that JJ site is so LAME!! "
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Now I have to defend JJ, that site has given us many hours of pure comedygold!
We go and pick up their immortal comments and bring them over to FF then we point our fingers at them and laugh our asses off!
And then the poor loons come running and crying and shake their rounded fists at heaven about what nasty evil h8ters we are and then we laugh even HARDER! Hehehe...
The loons are GOLD!
I don't get it, I was reading the list in the paper and Noomi was nominated for something?!?!?!?
Am I just losing my eyesight?
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""A must-see! Hary Potter better watch out once the weather gets nice"
Larrie D" LORY
"NOTHING will EVER stop me from my know-it-all antics!" Stoney
These nominations are funny... the movie, not so much.
Submitted by kiv on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:30pm.
Um did Johnny sleep with Angelina? How the fuck did the hot get leeched out of him as soon as he started working with her?
I don't think this is a coincidence.
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He fuggified himself for the movie in hopes the succubus wouldn't make advances on him.
Poor Justin Timberlake. He wuz robbed! How will he go on?!
Submitted by Carrie D on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:42pm.
Like I would want any award handed out by a bunch of sad HENS.
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Delusion at its best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pinches tristes gallinas hahahahhahahahahaa
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Delusional parasitosis (also known as delusions of parasitosis:is a form of psychosis whose victims acquire a strong delusional belief that they are infested with parasites, whereas in reality no such parasites are present.[2] Very often the imaginary parasites are reported as being "bugs" or insects crawling on or under the skin; in these cases the experience of the sensation known as formication may provide the basis for this belief.Wikipedia
Because you are infested with the Angelina Jesucrista Jolie Parasite
No I think Carrie D should have a chance. She's obviously jealous of TeriAnn's success.
I mean she has to lick off those stubborn dingleberries while TeriAnn gets all the credit.
O man. I'm behind. I thought Terri Ann was the best Angie Ass Licker...?
♥ Threadkilla!
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.~Marlon Brando
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:44pm.
Fine.
*throws The Brangeloonie Award for Looning at Carrie D., wings her and takes out her shrine, runs around doing touchdown dance*
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Well Scary D. is unable to accept this award at the moment... is there anyone out there, preferably with a spelling impediment and an obsession with caps lock, willing to step up?
Carrie D's picture
Submitted by Carrie D on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:42pm.
Like I would want any award handed out by a bunch of sad HENS.
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GOOD! Becuz you din't win! So there.
I know, I know - it's hard to not be the one that licks Angie's ass the best but you don't have to go start the name calling about it. Just lick better next time.
♥ Threadkilla!
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.~Marlon Brando
Fine.
*throws The Brangeloonie Award for Looning at Carrie D., wings her and takes out her shrine, runs around doing touchdown dance*
/\
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country".
Like I would want any award handed out by a bunch of sad HENS.
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"I met the right person. I don't like being without him." - Angelina Jolie talking about life partner Brad Pitt.
The JJ photos speak volumes, but shouldn't be that surprising. Does anyone else remember that interview that JD did w/Vanity Fair or some other mag where he basically blasted BP & his acting skills & obsession with the limelight? It was around 10 or 15 yrs ago when BP was @ the height of his fame. People kept comparing the two of them. JD has done everything he can to pick roles with substance, flex his acting muscles & not be the leading man of the moment, which is the complete antithesis of BP. So, I wouldn't be surprised if JD & BP don't get along & if JD & angie Ho don't get along for those very reasons. I wouldn't put it past Angie to have tried to get @ JD during the shooting, but I 'd like to think that he wouldn't want to have any part of that. I don't think that he'd want to be the aniston/pitt/jolie 2.0. I'll try to find the article. /rant.
Well, that's it, let's pack it in, we need to stop our antics, Skeletina was nominated.
Wow, the old "humanitarian" angle has been resurrected, wtf has she done again?
STOLE KIDS FROM IMPOVERISHED CORRUPTED COUNTRIES?
Right, that's very humanitarian.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
"Leave Alicia alone. All Japanese people look the same and China is a very big country".
Wait a second. Are Brangeloonies and spambots the same thing???
That's fucking cool.
♥ Threadkilla!
If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.~Marlon Brando
And you make it seem like that's a bad thing?
"THEY ARE THE ONCE WHO WILL STAB YOU IN THE BACK"
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What a looser, can't ever spell!
In my heart of hearts, I believe that Spambots and Brangeloonies are one and the same.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
Hmm in this profile shot Jolie looks like she's got a case of the Chinistons on her....what a manly jaw and chin.
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"I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU...Eat dirt and die, TRASH!!!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSEntl9Ys_c&feature=related
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Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:15pm.
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2010/12/14/angelina-jolie-tourist-photo-cal...
F saving war countries and aids. How about saving Grammar, Angie? Your fans go out in blizzards and extreme climatic conditions to watch your comedies, it's the least you could fucking do.
How 30 Rock got nominated for anything is beyond me. I love that show, but I haven't laughed at it since the Christmas show of season 4. Get it together Tina!
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 12/14/2010 - 12:24pm.
Brangeloon's high level of intellect is really stunning sometimes
"THEY ARE THE ONCE WHO WILL STAB YOU IN THE BACK"
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The usage of all caps alone is a sign of their superior intellect.
All I can say is...movies must have totally sucked this year...look at the line-up of nominees. It is obvious they just stuck Jolie and Depp in there to get viewers. Too bad the same viewers didn't shell out to see The Tourist.
I for one will not be watching the crapfest known as the Golden Globes.