Aretha Franklin Is Back At Home
Just like that pearl necklace, my soul dribbled down into a dark canyon of uncertainty when Aretha Franklin underwent a mystery surgery for a mysterious condition two weeks ago. Aretha has yet to confirm or deny that the mysterious condition is pancreatic cancer. But Aretha did release a statement saying that she's resting her chichis in the comfort of her own bed and is hoping she'll be well enough to get some theater in her life very soon. Aretha cooed this out to the Free Press:
“I’ve been at home for almost three days now. My family and friends who brought me home are taking great care of me. I also have a private nurse who visits on a daily basis. I’m hoping to be strong enough to go out and see the upcoming Sam Cooke play at the Music Hall in downtown Detroit before Jan. 2, as well as a performance of ‘Dreamgirls’ at the Fox before it closes.”
Since Aretha is craving some DRAMA and THEATRICALITY, let me deliver some to her bedside. Here's an absolutely riveting silent movie of a ladybug playing a game of pool with itself.
Yes, ladybugs suck at playing pool but the bitch is trying. Clap for that!
via Cute Overload
• 
I respect that she's keeping her dying private, but a legend will soon be gone.
Sad.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Aretha looks sweaty. All the time.
http://girlunemployed.blogspot.com
Glad that Aretha is home.
The ladybug is all, "What the hell is this shit?"
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"God only gives you one balloonknot, be nice to it." - Raul Duke
Wait is that a regular sized ladybug? How small are those fucking gumballs? I can't watch the rest of the video, the math is stumping me.
Sending good thoughts Aretha's way. Get better!
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 1:20pm.
I'm glad Aretha is "home", but so was Elizabeth Edwards.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
That ladybug thinks the sprinkles are aphid eggs. Probably wondering why the fuck they aren't popping in his mouth!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
I'm glad Aretha is "home", but so was Elizabeth Edwards.
wtf with the picture???!!!! glad she is ok.
Aren't ladybugs males? ASSHOLES!!!! lol
Coma Caca!
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Aretha in this pic looks like a Theresa if they smudged her pic in photoshop
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Just call me Lola
damn. this was actually on Answers.com:
"Ladybugs eat aphids (green insects that live mainly on roses) and drink water.
Sometimes they consume pollen and nectar from plants to save up for winter.
Some types of ladybugs eat grass and leaves.
Usaly orange or yellow ladybugs eat nectar and pollen and drink water and sometimes they eat grass.
aphids
No they only eat aphids that live on plants and under leaves.
no"
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kiss my ass!
Submitted by cprincess on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:45am.
I love ladybugs-what do they eat anyway
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i always thought they ate aphids - or maybe they milk aphids for the candy that comes out of their butts? i'm confused now, i just don't know anymore.
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kiss my ass!
I love ladybugs-what do they eat anyway-cant be sprinkles because surely bitch would be chowing down...
As regards Aretha-get well soon and take care of those chichi's....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
That is SO ADORABLE.
(the ladybug, not Aretha)
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
Jesus, I must be tired, or old, or both. I didn't even notice that. Thanks for pointing it out.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
shandi, the title on the video is "Ladybug plays with sprinkles".
What in the hell are those little small balls that are smaller than a ladybug? Or is that some giant ladybug? In my area, ladybugs are teeny tiny. Are those sprinkles or something?
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:30am.
HAHAHA Joe!! that is my lame ass aussie accent!
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Hahahaha jack, I was thinking you did a great impression of talking with your mouth full.
Lol Vern, thanks, I like a person that doesn't have high standards.
Leenie.. lost me
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
HAHAHA Joe!! that is my lame ass aussie accent!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:17am.
Yis, Joe, jist in toym!
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Hehehe, stop talking with your mouth full.
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LOL Slutty!
You is my idol!!!
*chanting as always*
$5 dolla cookie, $5 dolla , it will make you holla.
Vern-of course I can♥♥
LOL! Mk always picks the cutest videos for b!tches who are recuperating. I think Aretha would rather see all those sprinkles on one of those big @$$ giant cupcakes though ;)
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Dlisted: Putting the HO in HO HO HO since 2005 :)
I bet she could catch a draft and hang on to it with those things.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Is that ladybug getting frisky with the candy or just playing?
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:17am.
What are you DOING here?
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
Of course Slutty recognizes the slutty ladybug.
*chanting as always*
If I had cleavage that rivaled the great wall of China, I would not expose it to the world.
That ladybug was lonely and looking for a companion.
Thanks, Mercury...
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by UltraBaroque on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:15am.
My Nana was built like Aretha. She'd say, "Come sit on Nana's lap." I was like, maybe when I'm tired of breathing.
*calls Chris Hansen*
Have a seat over there. ____________________________________________
This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Aretha Franklin Is Back At Home, and her chichis are just pulling in now.
Yis, Joe, jist in toym!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:15am.
I'M GOOD MR. M THANK YOU THOUGH!
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You're welcome, just thought I'd offer seeing as how the holidays have arrived and all. You're one of my favorite posters here btw.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:12am.
*hands Mr. Mercury a warm bucket of cookie dough*
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Ouuuu!!!! *excited* Am I just in time for cookies?
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My Nana was built like Aretha. She'd say, "Come sit on Nana's lap." I was like, maybe when I'm tired of breathing.
I'M GOOD MR. M THANK YOU THOUGH!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
Awesome news.
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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 10:55am.
This is good news. At least Aretha isn't making 24-7 drama out of her condition, which is pretty classy given today's crop of celeb stunt queens.
honey she's old school. ;)
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:12am.
*hands Mr. Mercury a warm bucket of cookie dough*
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Would you like extra icing? I can do that.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/16/2010 - 11:10am.
Sounds like you need a sheet-cake-gasm, Mr. M.
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LMAO! well...yes. I'd like that.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
*hands Mr. Mercury a warm bucket of cookie dough*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
*joins M.E. and snowy on antiaretha midnight train to ga*
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Sounds like you need a sheet-cake-gasm, Mr. M.
*chanting as always*
That video is really cute.
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
I'm a fan of Aretha, but . . . that's got to be difficult on her back, at her age.
I love Queen Rere and I so hope she's doing better. Bumping her Christmas album now!