Hot Slut Of The Day!
Ted Williams, a homeless man in Columbus, OH whose vocal cords were crafted the same artisan hands that created Casey Kasem's magical voice box. The Columbus Dispatch heard about the man with a velvety voice who could read off lyrics to a Ke$ha song and make it feel like a chenille throw is hugging your ear drums, so they caught up with him to get his story. The first few seconds after listening to Ted's masterpiece of a voice, I seriously thought they dubbed his shit. It's that perfect. It makes me want to do my make-up in the rear-view mirror of a car while inhaling lukewarm coffee fumes from a stainless steel carafe in my cup holder.
Dude should be introducing Nickelback's new song (I take that back, that was a hurtful thing to say) or describing a prize package in detail on Price is Right. And there's a chance this might come true. Dave & Jimmy of The Morning Zoo interviewed Ted this morning and are hoping to get him a job on their station. Reddit is also working on getting donations to Ted.
Oh, and we also can't deny Ted's luscious Andrew Jackson mane.
via TDW, Videogum, Buzzfeed, MSNBC, Reddit, Gawker TV and every single website on the Internet planet (Thanks to everyone who sent this in)
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He looks like Sammy Davis Jr. Is he Sammy Davis Jr.s's illegitamite child?
Wow...this story is incredible.
Whoever said "all he had to do was stand on a street corner" needs to watch the video on any post, news channel, whatever. that's not "ALL" he had to do....the phrase "means to an end" comes mind.
I like Wood Dragon's idea. He could be the next Don LaFontaine.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Damn, he does look exactly like Andrew Jackson!
Holy. Shit. My fucking jaw hit my laptop when that MF started talking. That is some Quiet Storm magic in the making...good luck, dude!
"Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:57am.
There are plenty of homeless people out there who are victims of mental illness and other circumstances out of their control, and those people deserve our sympathy and charity. There are also plenty of homeless people who have made a lifetime of bad choices and have no desire to clean themselves up and be productive members of society. There are also homeless people out there who are not homeless at all, but they still beg for money. Some of them make more in a day than I did waiting tables in college during the the lunch shift. This is why panhandling is illegal."
Not disagreeing with you in anyway, but there are homeless men and women who CHOOSE to be homeless because they don't want to deal with what life has to offer them. A co-worker of mine met a homeless man who was an Iraq-vet who quit the military because he couldn't handle it. Instead of going home to his parents who were well off, he decided to roam the streets because he didn't think he could handle anything "real life" after his stint overseas (he had seen his share of dead bodies, etc.) I feel for him because he is smart, went to school, has a lot of skills that could be put to use, but doesn't want to do anything because of his past.
Mr. Williams WANTS to work and is very upfront with his past history, that has to earn him some points in anyone's book. Good for this man. Glad he was able to get help and the courage to get cleaned. He's now living the American dream, something a lot of people strive for.
Anywho, enough of my rambling, love ya!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
I love Ted! I see him all the time. He isn't homeless but needs a job and willing to work.
Well DAMN, give this guy a job, ASAP! I just hope if he gets a lucky break that he doesn't fuck it up and end up back on the streets begging for quarters.. Good luck to him..;)
He would be killer as the new voice over movie trailer guy. Since Don La Fontaine died we haven't had a good one.
That's more like it, Mama Moore. ;)
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and I'm not sorry, it's human nature.
-Madonna
Wow I was not expecting that.
Hahaha!!!
Suck my backbone!!!
Submitted by Bitingontinfoil on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 11:42am.
seriously, I'd much rather see this guy put out a CD than stupid fucking KK.
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and I'm not sorry, it's human nature.
-Madonna
LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
He's got a GREAT face for radio!
That being said, I also thought it was dubbed! Poor guy seems sincere - hope someone gives him a break. Fuck, if a no-talent KardASSian can cut a CD.....
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UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!
-Tourette's Guy
What the...?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
MamaMoore, get a fucking backbone.
kiss ass to a commenter on a fucking gossip site. Pathetic.
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and I'm not sorry, it's human nature.
-Madonna
OMG I SOOOOO don't hate you, Mama Moore! I never did! Sorry if you thought that. Thank you, you are exactly right...I really can't stand the "cause bandwagon" everybody has to jump on!!! So annoying.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
God Bless this man.
I wish him all the best.
LEAVE STONEY ALONE! Even if she hates me I like her. I get where she's coming from. She's speaking of the bandwagon effect that the Amerrikun media perpetrates. No one gave a shit about this dude until some local yokel news reporter happened upon him. Now he is the Cause Celeb and people that would have stepped over him in the gutter now want to have him home for dinner and offer up their virgin 12 year old daughter.
Aw! He's just getting what anyone else gets. A little luck. That's nice.
Plus - he got himself clean...which is more than we can say for the likes of LiLo, Amy or Britney who, btw, are STILL making more money than all of us put together.
♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:25am.
Stoney, why don't you just quit bitchin', piss on a cardboard scrap, take a big huff off of one of those crazy permanent markers, and make yourself a sign reading "Hot Slut Needs Cash". Dirty yourself up and you can get in the game. Then you won't be so envious of the glamorous, money-rich lifestyle of the American Hobo.
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Well said Catter!
I wish this man luck!
He looks clean and is well spoken. He obviously has made great efforts to get back on track. Whatever residual issues he may still carry from his past, he can take care of once he has a steady job.
Good Luck to him!
PS: I've been volunteering at the local Food Bank for several years now and let me tell you; I can tell the difference between, grabby professional Welfare recipients and this man who is trying to get his act together and seeking to work.
You know the types that come in claiming food for five dependant kids (which may or may not be true, we never see them with more than one kid, but have to give the benefit of the doubt), yet stand outside chain smoking (not even bothering to wait in line indoors, we have to track them down in the parking lot when their food is packed up and ready) while they are talking on their cell phones (half of our volunteers don't even own a cell phone)...FACT!
Those are the types that make me lose faith in the welfare and charity system... not this man, I hope gets hired long term.
I can't wait to see Meredith Viera give him a lap dance tomorrow.
What a voice!
he was hired by a sports team. good for him!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 10:44am.
Is that Arsenio Hall?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAAA!!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Is that Arsenio Hall?
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Gosh I love it when people put words in my mouth.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:12am.
This guy will be working in Hollywood within the week, meanwhile thousands of drug-free underemployed voice talents with equal skill sit in their tiny apartments eating Ramen Noodles.
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So this guy doesn't deserve a lucky break because someone else's hasn't arrived yet?
I don't see a problem if someone gives this guy a break. That may mean one less homeless person on the street, and that is a good thing.
Just because someone did drugs in their past and made some poor choices, doesn't mean he or she is any less deserving of our sympathies or our charity.Drug abuse is an illness, it is one you choose, but nonetheless, it is an illness.
As someone else on here brilliantly said, we are all a few bad decisions away from being homeless ourselves.
I don't think I'm judging anyone. I think it's great this guy might be getting a job. It does look like he has a lot of talent, and he "seems" like a nice guy. I was just pointing out all the millions of other people who are out of work who have worked really hard to get the job this guy might be getting, and all he had to do was stand on a street corner. Flame me if you want, I really don't care. No one knows this guy at all, but immediately everyone has to jump on the Susan Boyle-like bandwagon and get all indignant at those who are skeptical.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I hope he gets a job! His announcer voice is really amazing.
Andrew Jackson hair. Wow. Andrew Jackson hair. I wish this guy well. He really does have that perfect announcer voice.
It amazes me that people judge those who have stumbled in life, even if their own bad choices about drugs or drink were to blame. Is it so unusual to binge drink? And what fine line separates those who can do it and put the bottle down the next day from those who get hooked?
Meanwhile, many "successful" people actually perpetrate terrible violence upon others, exploit and enslave, pollute and destroy our world, and maybe the moral outrage could be preserved for them instead of a homeless guy who is trying to fix his life.
Stoney, why don't you just quit bitchin', piss on a cardboard scrap, take a big huff off of one of those crazy permanent markers, and make yourself a sign reading "Hot Slut Needs Cash". Dirty yourself up and you can get in the game. Then you won't be so envious of the glamorous, money-rich lifestyle of the American Hobo.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
jt
that there is one golden throat - dude needs to be the new voice of Moviefone!
but seriously, we're all rooting for this guy - I think he's going to make it. even the TODAY SHOW is going to have him on tomorrow and try to get him work.
and yes, that halo of hair deserves it's own job too!!
Good luck to him.
Annie
WOW! He's got it.Strangely enough-there are guys & gals (Sheen / Lohan...etc.)who are in the business...and pulling down huge bank while carrying all these problems that put this man on an exit ramp in Ohio.Cause & effect are often NOT related.Wish him well nonetheless.
There are plenty of homeless people out there who are victims of mental illness and other circumstances out of their control, and those people deserve our sympathy and charity. There are also plenty of homeless people who have made a lifetime of bad choices and have no desire to clean themselves up and be productive members of society. There are also homeless people out there who are not homeless at all, but they still beg for money. Some of them make more in a day than I did waiting tables in college during the the lunch shift. This is why panhandling is illegal.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Just like if you shake everyone's family tree hard enough a Jerry Springer episode will fall out, we're all 4 or 5 bad decisions away from being in this guy's position. I hope he makes the most of this opportunity and manages to stay clean.
This guy has suffered. He knows he has absolutely has to stay clean. Looking for a job in commercial media is risky. Jealousy, backstabbing and those who will want to use him.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:12am.
This guy will be working in Hollywood within the week, meanwhile thousands of drug-free underemployed voice talents with equal skill sit in their tiny apartments eating Ramen Noodles.
GOOD.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Double Postetration
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
Every time I see a homeless person I always get this feeling like "There but for the grace of God go I.."
How are homeless people any different than anyone else? We all are born into circumstances, we all live and grow and make choices...(if we're lucky to be given enough time to do those things.)
How many millionaires in Hollywood also make bad choices and are drug and alcohol addicted? I fail to see the difference. It's just luck, basically.
Somebody get this man a job! He could be the feel-good story of 2011 if he gets Seacrest fired and takes over as the new mega mogul!
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
He is scheduled to be on the Today show tomorrow morning, they showed the clip this morning and said he would be there tomorrow.
Good luck to him, he deserves a fucking break already. hope he uses it to the best of his ability.
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We can make weapons out of these candy canes.
Go ahead, suck it til it's pointy.
HOLY FUCK I GOTTA GET THIS DUDE SIGNED UP FOR MY RADIO STATION
HOT DAMN HES PERFECT TO DO THE GODDAMN ANNOUCEMENTS IMA STUCK DOING
GONNA GET DUMB WHORE PRODUCER ON THIS SHIT STAT
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/05/2011 - 9:12am.
This guy will be working in Hollywood within the week, meanwhile thousands of drug-free underemployed voice talents with equal skill sit in their tiny apartments eating Ramen Noodles.
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Yummmmmm! Ramen!
Seems like a nice enough homeless guy, but I hate that fucking Announcer Voice voice and avoid it whenever possible.
Yup, the definition of a face for radio!
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""A must-see! Hary Potter better watch out once the weather gets nice"
Larrie D" LORY
"NOTHING will EVER stop me from my know-it-all antics!" Stoney