The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 11th!

Months after his break up from Madge, Baby Jesus still can't find his balls. - SpiceDong

Runners-up:

Not surprisingly, this happened a few hours after he turned all that water to wine. - Sweetas

Give it up, Levi- the Palins aren't watching anymore. - ISprainedMyUvula

via Christian Nightmares (Thanks Rose)

Posted by: Michael K

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The CAPTION THIS Contest

Submitted by clutching-at-straws on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:51am.

LOL. Those are genius - congrats and thanks!

Submitted by boxerdude on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:39am.

i didn't even notice the jesus part until i read some of these. my attention must have been elsewhere.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 10:09am.

All funny wieners! Sweetas you're on a roll! ...hopefully with some mustard and onions...awesome!

Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:36am.

THANK YOU ALL!!!!!

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they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 9:09am.

HA! HA! HA! VERY nice, winners! Congratulations!
That was fun:)

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by Deb on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:36am.

Congrats to all you funny fuckers! But it will cost you all 3 Hail Marys. Or 3 Bloody Marys. ;)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 8:29am.

Spicey and ISMU - bwahahaha perfection!! Congrats and self gropes!!! *sticks my hands down Vern and MK's pants*

I'm with OurMissC... I was in tears over this whole thread.

Submitted by OurMissC on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 7:26am.

There were so many great captions for this! Congrats winners, awesome job! ♥♥♥'s all around!

Life is too short to drink cheap booze.

Submitted by Vern on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 7:24am.

OMG!!! These were DIVINE!!!

Heavenly Congrats Super Spicey, Speshul Groovy Uvy!!!!
And damn! SweetASSSS-consexutive wins!!!
*sticks hand down SweetASS's choniess*

*chanting as always*

Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 7:03am.

Spice, sweety and uvy!!!!
great job!!! congrats all around.

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We can make weapons out of these candy canes.
Go ahead, suck it til it's pointy.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 6:58am.

CUNTGRATZ SPICY and cuntgratz to the other two things!!!

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by jalynne on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 12:09am.

Finally, an athlete that thanks Jesus before he wins.

Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 12:03am.

If you're looking for Jesus, I'm pretty sure you won't find him down there.

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Who are you calling silly cow?

Submitted by jalynne on Wed, 01/12/2011 - 12:02am.

Real men love Jesus!

Submitted by USArmyWifeAllOver on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 11:33pm.

"..And he stretched forth his hand, and held his tongue just right, and he found that it was good."

Submitted by claytlo on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 10:53pm.

Luckily there was just enough time before the big competition to adjust my purity cock ring before sharing my baton with my 3 sweaty teammates!

Submitted by Ferris B on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 9:57pm.

"Christ" my balls itch!!!!!

Submitted by VenusVibeTrap on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 8:20pm.

Bobby never lived down the humiliation of the time he tried to hand his teammate the wrong baton . . .

Submitted by lili on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 8:16pm.

when i think of jesus, i touch myself.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:40pm.

Just another day at the beach for Stephanie Seymour.

Submitted by JazzyJane on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:34pm.

This is my body. Do this in remembrance of me—

Submitted by dfanintheD on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:01pm.

Shortly after his first encounter with representatives from the Church of Scientology, a young Tom Cruise contemplates the fate of man and the universe - and decides that both his relay batton and his fist could be put to better use.

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:55pm.

Jesus's black sheep cousin, Jizzus Christ

NAC: *boards bus to Hell*

Submitted by suzanita on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:51pm.

its bruce bitch...For whomsoever shalt object speak now and forever hold your piece

Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 7:04pm.

Ahhh, he's saying the rosary. Two prayers, most likely.
(Hey when you leave your regular beads at home you improvise.)

Submitted by Pat MaGroin on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:50pm.

Jesus and his 12 dick-ciples in "The Last Circle Jerk"

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Robin: "Hey Batman, what are your parents getting you for Christm..?"
Batman: "My parents are DEAAAAAAD!"

Submitted by suzanita on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:48pm.

its bruce bitch...Love one another as I have loved...myself...Isaiah 4:13

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:33pm.

The second coming of Christ.

Submitted by loozer on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:21pm.

A Watch tanline on a bony arm! A helpless Jesus is instantly reminded of Madonna.
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor

Submitted by JazzyJane on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:18pm.

His coach always told him he'd win the race with a stroke of luck.

Submitted by loozer on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:15pm.

Finally Jesus answers the age old question;
Dress Right or Dress Left?

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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 02/02/2010 - 2:29pm.
loozer, you are not right.
Soy un perdedor

Submitted by colt13 on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:07pm.

Put your hand on thee.

Submitted by Tyroan on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:08pm.

"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."
(Matthew 4.17 ESV)

Submitted by tazzers on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:03pm.

Rub one out for Jesus.

Submitted by sofster101 on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:50pm.

All whilst Jakey Poo states Natalie is the next Audrey, he's really thinking that he's the next Jesus.

Submitted by Snarf on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:38pm.

She said "Jesus take the wheel", not the stick shift.

**********
Shiitake happens...

Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:28pm.

this is not what Tommy Girl expected when he ordered a real doll with dick like a lead pipe and tennis balls.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:26pm.

Months after his break up from Madge, Baby Jesus still can't find his balls.

Submitted by GingeMinge on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:22pm.

Doucheknuckles

Submitted by dmack on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:17pm.

Few people know that Tom Cruise was a high school track star. Legend has it that he felt the color of the baton was a bit butch so he decided to create his own.

Submitted by Apple1 on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:02pm.

What Would Jesus Jerk

Submitted by saltydog88 on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 4:54pm.

The power of Christ compels you...to touch your junk

Submitted by brodie on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 4:31pm.

Jesus, Which baton should I pass to cum in first?

Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:55pm.

Do not be afraid. Jesus loves you.

♥ Threadkilla!
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
~Thomas A. Edison
Own a Ford Hybrid? Be afraid:
http://www.nearescape.ca/

Submitted by JazzyJane on Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:48pm.

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands