Martha Stewart's French Bulldog Will Headbutt A Bitch
I've never had the pleasure of meeting Martha Stewart's french bulldog Francesca, but just by looking at her I can tell that the bitch will split your lip if you interrupt her beauty sleep. That's exactly what happened to Martha the other morning, but don't holler for Cesar Millan just yet, because it was an accident. An accident (I'm on your side, Frannie)!!!!
Martha wrote a post on her blog (via TMZ) today about how she caught a sleeping Francesca by surprise when she leaned down to whisper a sweet goodbye into her dog's ear. Just like Martha in prison when her cellmate tried to steal her knitting needle made from a TV antenna, Francesca shot up and headbutted her in the lip. As the blood poured out of Martha's lip, she made a mental note to paint the back wall in her farmhouse kitchen the exact same color. Then Martha thought about stitching herself up using imported French thread, but when she realized that wasn't going to work she signaled for her driver to take her to the hospital!
I called the police to ask for a ride to the hospital, forgetting that Carlos, my driver was waiting to drive me into the city. Carlos and Betsy Perreten, my stable manager, packed me into the car and we drove in the falling snow the few miles to the emergency room in Northern Westchester Hospital, my wonderful neighborhood medical center. When we arrived, I was instructed to lie down and wait until the plastic surgeon on call, Dr. William Nolan, could get there from his nearby home. The pictures tell the rest of the story. Thank you, Betsy, for taking the photos. Thank you Carlos, Alexis, and Mike. Thanks to the hospital staff for their prompt and professional attention and of course, Thank you, Dr. Nolan!
Martha claims that Francesca was all torn up inside for accidentally fucking her ass up. Yeah, here's Francesca being all upset and shit:
That's definitely a "you'll get yours for this" face.
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One of your best posts MK!! Love it!
This is my Frenchie. He has head butted me and it didn't phase him but bruised me good.
Saying that, she was bitten that is not from a head butt.
Every dog being dressed has the divine right to make mincemeat of their owners. Fight back! Team barkers.
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Auri sacra fames
Submitted by LisaL on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 9:58am.
Submitted by Tyroan on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:54am.
Oh please - those little dogs weigh as much as a roll of toilet paper.
I believe this story as much as I believe Dumbya Bush busted up his face choking on a rogue pretzel!
Bitch had the drunks, and Frannie is taking the fall.
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Actually french bulldogs aren't all that small. Their weight can range from 20-40lbs just depending on how large they are.
Our frenchie is no bigger than a Boston Terrier who may weigh in at maybe 10lbs, but b/c he's stocky and muscular, he weighs 25lbs.
AND most frenchies have BIG heads. I've been headbutted by our dog before. It didn't do that kind of damage, and I also question if hers actually snapped at her, but it's not impossible.
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Hi!
As I type, I am sitting next to my French Bulldog George who looks a whole lot like Martha Stewart's frenchie. George is a good example of a big boy Frenchie - I guess he inherited all the big genes in his line. He is 38 pounds, very muscular and built like a truck with a heavy, hard head. I totally believe that if he knocked me in the lip hard enough, it would split.
Great dogs those Frenchies - love 'em! Cheers everyone!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Let this be a lesson. Don't hit a ho with a rum bottle! Drink all the rum instead and then take a nap!" MK, Aug. 22/08
South Dakota:
"Where your dreams never come true".
I'm so grateful that i was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA. Fine restaurants, celebrities, live entertainment, bars, clubs, the beaches, the mountains, Las Vegas is 4 hours away, Sunset Strip, the movie studios, Disneyland, The Lakers (does South Dakota even HAVE a basketball team ?), San Francisco, Beverly Hills, golden opportunites, etc.
Keep dreaming in South Dakota Jules.
If I had to live in South Dakota, I'd be pissed off, too.
Another thing Jules darling:
JESUS WAS A LIBERAL.
You just called Jaysus an asshole - now you're in big trouble !
He's gonna getcha - you betcha !
I couldn't place who that dog's expression reminded me of.
Then it came to me....Zahara Jolie-Pitt.
Yeah Jules,
We're all real terrified of a dumbbell who attended 5 different colleges over a span of 6 years to grab that impressive JOURNALISM degree.
She's another Einstein.
She couldn't even finish the 1st term of her Governorship because of all the ethics charges against her.
And then there's THE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE
aka Palin's political career.
You can't REFUDIATE that. Try not to get all "wee-weed up" about it Jules !
Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 11:03am.
PUT THE BISCUIT IN THE BASKET OR YOU GET THE HOSE AGAIN.
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lmaoo
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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Submitted by Zonko on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:16am.
Hey Jules:
If liberal assholes weren't so SCARED of Palin, we wouldn't even be having this discussion you whimpy assholes -- afraid of the mother of 5! Too Funny.
Who the fuck said anything about Palin running in 2012 - you did. You WISH she'd run so BoBo could get another four fucked up years to totally tear down the country?
Palin doesn't scare me - those who blamed her for murder and then held a campaign rally, handed out t-shirts and benefitted from coffins and hospital beds DO!
Liberals are sick assholes - MARTHA STEWART is the QUEEN of liberal assholes - own it!
Delusional bitch #3!!
1- who the fuck calls the POLICE to drive them to the hospital for a split lip?!?! not in their job description honey. y ou know most people have to drive themselves.
2- plastic surgeon? ok i guess your lip split pretty badly, but when my face met the steering wheel of my car in a near fatal accident, some lovely nurse stitched up my face for me and i look damn good- in fact the split from the corner of my mouth into my cheek when healed gave me a dimple- cute!
3- your poor dog. better apologize for dressing her up like that
AND 4- JACK- shaddup! bc you know i tell my doggie good night and tuck him in
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
love martha. so polite.
DWM - when my big bitch does something bad (when we don't see it) we always know because as soon as we walk in the door, instead of running up to greet us, she sulks over to her bed and tries to hide her face.
COVERING YOUR TRACKS FAIL!
DirtyWhoreMouth o
there is pout and running and screaming like if you got beaten, that dog is crazy ; p
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Yep - I agree. Watch out for your sneaky cat friend.
Can't do shit about your sisters though. My dog pouts when scolded just like her mommy. She's super smart though.
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 9:04am.
I assume this bitch and Gwynnie use the same ghost writer on their blogs...? "we drove in the falling snow..." "my wonderful neighborhood medical center..." GAHHD!!!
And what kind of weirdo whispers bye-bye to their sleeping dog? ok, none of you weirdos answer that.
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Considering my dog weighs 145lbs? FUCK NO! If that bitch headbutted me she's break every bone in my face!
When I leave I tell her to be a good girl and then I say "LATER BITCH!"
True fact.
I don't blame the dog at all. I mean, look at the fuckery atop her GD head? Martha deserved it for that alone.
PUT THE BISCUIT IN THE BASKET OR YOU GET THE HOSE AGAIN.
thats what the dog told her.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
I have a theory that the pets behave according to the master, I have a friend whose cat is very sneaky letting you pet him and acting friendly and then wham he turns around to kill you, my sister dog acts like the world is owed to him and he is a user and will take a snack from your hand and squeal like you if you hurted him, my dog in the other hand is way too friendly and trusting and super smart and well behaved :) ( I dont trust that friend too much just because of the cat)
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Why the fuck did she call the police for a split lip? Stupid bitch!
But those little dogs have hard little heads, they were bred down from bulldogs.
Our pit bull gave me a concussion trying to lick our pet rat that I had on my shoulder and sent me to the ER before. He knocked me the fuck out!
I've been headbutted by a yellow lab before and have never ended up looking like Miss Marfa.
Methinks ol frenchie there got pissed off after all the outfits she is put in.
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
LMAO Jack I thought the same thing re Fishy
sooooooo pretentious, even in pain
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
that dog's face looks evil...the orange eyes make it even more so.
Martha's face looks suspiciously unlined for her age.
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they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Submitted by Tyroan on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:54am.
Oh please - those little dogs weigh as much as a roll of toilet paper.
I believe this story as much as I believe Dumbya Bush busted up his face choking on a rogue pretzel!
Bitch had the drunks, and Frannie is taking the fall.
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Actually french bulldogs aren't all that small. Their weight can range from 20-40lbs just depending on how large they are.
Our frenchie is no bigger than a Boston Terrier who may weigh in at maybe 10lbs, but b/c he's stocky and muscular, he weighs 25lbs.
AND most frenchies have BIG heads. I've been headbutted by our dog before. It didn't do that kind of damage, and I also question if hers actually snapped at her, but it's not impossible.
u know that dog was just waiting for his opportunity. all animals who's owners dress them up in fuckery are watching and waiting. my mothers dog though is ball obsessed (not those kind, although that would make it a helluva lot more interesting) and he was jumping up to grab a football and slammed his hard ass head (he's a shepard, lab mix) into her nose, blood everywhere
Good aim, doggie!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs
I assume this bitch and Gwynnie use the same ghost writer on their blogs...? "we drove in the falling snow..." "my wonderful neighborhood medical center..." GAHHD!!!
And what kind of weirdo whispers bye-bye to their sleeping dog? ok, none of you weirdos answer that.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Submitted by Raul Duke on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 8:53am.
Martha needs to let sleeping dogs lie.
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Raul made good joke.
Martha needs to let sleeping dogs lie. ************************************************************************************************ Profanity is a crutch used by ignorant motherfuckers.
911 for a split-lip?
What an asshole.
Francesca looks like a mean bitch, must take after her mommy :)
I kind of feel for Martha, that she can't admit her dog bit her.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Head Butt my ass, there is no way in this doggie world that little thing did that with a head butt. Me thinks it snapped at her but she doesn't want to say her bitch bit her...or her dog for that matter.
That doggies mad because some other bitch is wearing the same thing...how embarrassing!
That scar is gonna give her mad street cred if she ever goes back to the slammer.
carlos and betsy packed martha in the the car...translation:carlos rode martha in the city on his shoulders as betsy jogged along the side pressing a moistened, monogrammed, 100% egytpian cotton towel against martha's forehead...
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i lift things up and put them down...
A Day in the Life of A Rich Stan Hooper:
Hello 911!
Can you pick me up? I stubbed my toe! Ouch!
Nevermind, my driver Miguel is here!
Click
Count money in car
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
I can just see Martha on her slave hotline to the local Police station.
She probably has them picking up her shopping as well! Incredible!!
You stole the comment right off my keyboard . . .
Submitted by Zonko on Thu, 01/13/2011 - 11:22pm.
What kind of jackass calls THE POLICE for a ride to the hospital when they split their lip ?
That is NOT what the police do Martha - they're not your personal taxi service.
These rich cunts boil my blood.
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:51am.
That's mainly the reason I'm siding with the liberals on this one, because calls for civility are always a good idea and anyone with a working brain ought to be repulsed by the loaded metaphors regularly used by conservatives.
I dismissed Martha as a stuck up repressed bizzitch -- until she did time in the Big House, and she had Snoopy on her show.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:03am.
Submitted by dementa on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:49am.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 1:06am.
Didn't the shooter claim there was some sort of grammar conspiracy, and that was why he shot that poor woman? Can't believe anyone even COULD politicize that. The man was nuttier than a Snickers bar.
Dementa - the papers here reprinted the exchange he had with the congresswoman at a 2007 forum. He asked her a question which made no sense - it had something to do with the government, mind-control and grammer (?) and when she didn't answer, he supposedly began to obsess over her. I can't remember the exact question, but I'm sure if you google it, it would be easy to find.
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I think I recall reading somewhere that the question was 'What is government when words have no meaning?' which doesn't really make a lot of sense. As I recall reading, the congresswoman answered in Spanish, which, if you ask me, is kind of a good answer to an inane question (her point might have been that just because you don't understand the words, it doesn't mean that they're meaningless).
Either way, that grammar conspiracy may be nutty as hell but Loughner didn't come up with it. There was another wackjob ranting away about grammar enslaving people well before he came along... which means that he may have been a wackjob but he was aware enough of his surroundings to pick up an existing train of thought.
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:10am.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl: "Gummy Bear is disgusting! He just looks like his skin is crawling with microscopic infestatations."
You know you'd put on a Hazmet suit with a cut out and hit it front, back, and sideways.
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*SCREAMS*
(Well, ok maybe the tip - it's been awhile, ya know?)
Sweet dreams Bjork, Sucky, LaChaylo and Mami - thanks so much for making me laugh after a rough night.
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Martha was attempting to french Francesca, and the dog was having none of it. Serves her right.
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We are all made of stars.
If I see that ugly dog in an alley, I'd run the other way.
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We are all made of stars.
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:04am.
Right? Eric Roberts is a fantastic actor, the real deal. Remember him and Mickey Roarke in "The Pope of Greenwich Village"? Julia totally rode in on his coattails. And Frankie has the saddest eyes.
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CHARLIE, THEY TOOK MY THUMB!
COP SHIT HIS PANTS!
And don't even get me started on Sinatra's "Summer Wind" tune on the soundtrack - heaven!
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Night all!
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:10am.
Bwahahahahaha @ you're fat.
*locks Sucky's head in vise-like grip of bingo-wing while folding back-fat rolls over his nostrils*
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Hi CSG you're sweet and I'm going to bed
♥
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 01/14/2011 - 2:03am.
I ALWAYS wanna hate on Martha fucking Stewart but I can't..she's cool...and youre fat bye.
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Bwahahahahaha @ you're fat.
*locks Sucky's head in vise-like grip of bingo-wing while folding back-fat rolls over his nostrils*
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl: "Gummy Bear is disgusting! He just looks like his skin is crawling with microscopic infestatations."
You know you'd put on a Hazmet suit with a cut out and hit it front, back, and sideways.
Submitted by Tyroan: "Hey Bjork You... did you make snow angels?"
Nope, not this time. Mayor Bloomberg, aka The Grinch, had plows up and down the street every 10 minutes, and by noon, with the sun out and strong, most of it was slushy and quite harmless by nightfall.
But at work today, I could see kids sliding down a hill on their sleds.