Elton John & David Furnish Present Their Son To The World
We're about to be bombarded with millions of magazine covers starring babies with their eyes closed, and Elton John and David Furnish are leading the mob with their spread in OK! Magazine. Elton and David tried to adopt two orphans from the Ukraine, but they were shut down repeatedly so they turned to surrogacy (using Elton's jizz) and that's how Zachary Jackson Levon was brought into their lives on Christmas Day. A few quotes from the article have been released, and thankfully "Over the Moon" did not pass through Elton's lips as far as I know. Crisis averted. One down, a million more to go. Here's what Elton and David had to say about being new fathers.
Elton on holding Zachary for the first time: "I've never felt anything like it in my life. You're so awestruck, I will never forget that feeling ever."Elton on how he won't dress Zachary up in $5,000 diamond glasses and Versace onesies ("Stop lying" - Baby Zachary): "I'm ready to have a child and lavish my love on our son and not spoil him materially."
David on how their surrogate's vagina was powered by NASA: "'My God, there's the head!' Then he shot out like a rocket basically - so much so that the obstetrician sort of caught him! It was so dramatic and exciting, we didn't have time to get emotional. Like there he was, talk about fast!"
Happiness is a quiet baby friend in overalls and a white polo, but couldn't OK! have found a better picture to grace their cover? They made Elton look like a grown Howdy Doody going through a Buddy Holly phase. Elton's eyes are pulling my soul in and trying to shove it into the vortex between his teeth. Just focus on the baby in the overalls and everything should be okay.
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Besides, his face totally says 'I'm thrilled to be off the sex offenders list!'
There I said it! ...Don't tell me am the only one that thought that! >.<
*Bit sick perhaps, but laptops have a sneeze guard or a reason;p*
Aren't they kinda old to adopt? Here in the USA they have age restrictions.
Eh - they'll be bored with this kid by next week.
At 63 this man is too old to be having a child.
Poor Elton looks like a wheezy old queen with stubby thumbs. Pity.
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"don't even try shitting on my rainbow!!" ~ Fucking_Classy
Child psychotherapists will be lining up at the christening to offer their services in advance of the inevitable train wreck.
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
Cute little baybay.
Dude. They aren't even looking at the baby. I'm sure that even Joan Crawford managed to drum up some fake love for her children.
This pisses me off for some reason.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
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That baby is going to be quite the piano player if he ever learns to play one with his toes.
Sir Elton looks like someone's batty old English auntie. He could be a judge/mentor on "Ladette to Lady."
@PerfesserVP - ginger ale it is, wif Jamie-Lee approved yogurt thrown in. Order me another can of whisky willya? I have to go give a BJ in the bathroom, BRB
Dear Elton, just because you feel ageless, doesn't mean you are. I sincerely hope this kid doesn't have autism, but the research shows that old-guy jizz is a major factor.
PS way to put big metal buttons and buckles on your newborn. I love his music but he doesn't have a lot of common sense. A tiny baby can get hurt six ways to Sunday on that.
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Own it or shut the fuck up. ~ MK
I guess they didn't want anyone on the cover to have a neck!
omfg Their baby IS TOO CUTE! How small is that little jumper?!
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“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can’t believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven’t had much practice," said the Queen. "Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
@ agirl: No, I'm not new here, but you can buy me an old-fashioned ginger ale to settle my stomach. The Elton and new acquisition photo is still affecting me. Maybe I need that special probiotic yogurt... y'know, the one on TV with
that hemaphrodite spokesmammal.
Im happy for him, there is NOOO one like Elton John, but that is a very very bad photo of him :(
I don't know.. I have nothing against Elton, and certainly not against my gays, but there's something really creepy and grisly and wrong about that photograph.
The two old goats are looking into and smiling at the camera. So much they love their son. *vomit*
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
They made Elton look like a grown Howdy Doody going through a Buddy Holly phase. Elton's eyes are pulling my soul in and trying to shove it into the vortex between his teeth.
LMAO. My first thought was that he looks like the baby's lesbian grandmother.
Submitted by ProfessorVP on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 12:48pm.
If Brangelina and Sandra Bullock can buy babies, why couldn't Elton? Unless, of course, he couldn't find one in the color he wanted.
Leave us face it, it is a fashion accessory. If there had been any doubt before, well, the sad and absurd photo proves it. There isn't even a remote chance this kid will be anything but managed by nannies and mannies, dangled over balconies for photo-ops, and in every way steered toward insanity. It would have been better if the jizz never left the bastard. Uh- I mean baster.
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Professor VP, "...in every way steered toward insanity"!! lol I like the way you talk. You new around here? Can I buy ya a drink?
The baby looks just like Elton. Elton deserves to have a kid. Your ire should be directed at all the MILLIONS of loser single girls who have a kid to make them feel like they are important.
elton looks like the (english) queen (in this pic).
The whole bussiness with renting a uterus and surrogacy etc is just plain sick.
Degrating motherhood and children to nothing more than comoditys that can be bought and sold.
It's a child not a puppy show some respect.
If Brangelina and Sandra Bullock can buy babies, why couldn't Elton? Unless, of course, he couldn't find one in the color he wanted.
Leave us face it, it is a fashion accessory. If there had been any doubt before, well, the sad and absurd photo proves it. There isn't even a remote chance this kid will be anything but managed by nannies and mannies, dangled over balconies for photo-ops, and in every way steered toward insanity. It would have been better if the jizz never left the bastard. Uh- I mean baster.
Submitted by dementa on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:41am.
I third the hate for the term "breeder." Usually the people who use it are hateful, stuck-up bitches who would jump all over your ass if you used a homophobic slur, but they throw around heterophobic ones like no one's biz. Too bad your mommas were "breeders
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AMEN !!!!!!!!!
Sorry--wasn't thinking about the lunch crowd. ;) Put lots of parmesan cheese on.
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Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:29am.
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:17am.
*stares at bowl of Spaghettios I just heated up*
sir elton looks like he has something up his ass...where's david's hands?
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i lift things up and put them down...
Overalls? Really?
I'm sorry but jeans or overalls on a baby is the most trashiest tasteless thing any parent can do.
Kid is already suffocated with a diper and now jeans?
Its super cute like baby timbs and baby fitted hats but common really? Just No!
Oh and something about whole thing don't look genuine to me
Its like surrogates becoming new celeb trends...like miniature pigs are so last year
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Just call me Lola
that's the scariest pic of Elton John to date.
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http://alisoncecilejohns.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/pomloplum?feature=mhum
Are they barefoot? If this were People magazine they would have been barefoot, all of them, not just the behbeh.
Anyway, congratulations to them and best wishes. Oh and Elton, those frames, ummm, no.
Baby has his eyes closed thinking "This is just a bad dream."
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"I'd be surprised if there was even an engine in that festering whore sled.
UK car advert.
Why the hell do people put babies in overalls? Are they going to work on a railroad or plow a field?
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
How is it possible that one's weave can be thinning? Poor Elton. Couldn't keep his real hair and now the fake stuff is eroding, too.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
I've been to Sydney and it was pointed out from the boat "that's where Elton John lives.". In Venice "that's Elton's place.". In Paris, at the Ritz. Damn did that kid hit the jackpot and those Ukrainian kids get royally shafted. They should overthrow their government.
Submitted by SoulTaker on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:14am.
No matter how hard I try to imagine cunty prima donna Elton getting up at 4 a.m. to soothe a screaming infant, or changing a shitty diaper or wiping baby barf out of his expensive bolt-on hair or designer tank top, I just can NOT do it.
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Because it will NEVER happen! He won't even her his son cry NEXT DOOR! One of the four hired staff will....
Elton John's face on Janet Reno's body? What the hell?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
OK. How many more references to Elton John songs is he going to make about this baby? Levon? on a Christmas Day? Like a Rocket (man)?
I am so disgusted by this set up, that I am actually lost for words! And it's NOT because of a gay couple having a child (I am all for that), but because of this:
"I'm ready to have a child and lavish my love on our son and not spoil him materially."
YEA RIGHT!! That's why you bought a multi million $$ place NEXT DOOR of your own and just hours after your baby boy was born installed him with an army of nanny's NEXT DOOR!
And that why you spend hundreds of thousands of $$ on interior designers to stage your new pet monkey in it's pad next door with four strangers (nanny's) to look after him around the clock.
Definitely the actions of a loving caring and involved parent *major eye roll*
Just thinking about this set up and that poor child makes me want to projectile vomit all over...
STFU selfish, self-centred Queen Elton who IMO purchased this child for his distant (as in next door raised by strangers) amusement!!!
I feel so sorry for this kid, who doesn't have a snow ball's chance in hell to develop as a normal human being. This child is starting out in life, missing everything a child should have.... except MONEY (which by the way is least importan thing on the list. Par live necessity's)!!
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 11:17am.
*stares at bowl of Spaghettios I just heated up*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by dementa:"I third the hate for the term "breeder." Usually the people who use it are hateful, stuck-up bitches who would jump all over your ass if you used a homophobic slur, but they throw around heterophobic ones like no one's biz..."
THANK YOU!!!!!
OMG WTF
Elton looks like the little lady from "Poltergeist" that is some scary shit...that David dude can do so much better...so it must be love indeed...but love of what I ask? Love of Money is my bet.
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they took their relationship from "May I borrow some sugar?" to "May I lick sugar off your ass crack?" - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Submitted by Poopele: "Why is Elton squeezing the little baby's penis?"
Lawd help me, I laughed my ASS off when I scrolled back up to see if he really was. Poopele is BAD!
What surprised me was the delivery of the placenta--the doc kind of reeled it in by the umbilical cord. Then he put it in a stainless steel bowl, which I was much amused to see him step in later on.
20 years later, I remember it like it was yesterday.
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:59am.
I LOVE to tell first time expectant moms not to freak out about the estimated weight of their baby. What they need to pray for is a fucking small assed head. Chubby legs are NOT what rips you from soup to nuts. It's those goddamed melons of doom.
Jill CONGRATS on the lil one! granma!! LOL
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:06am.
""(using Elton's jizz)""
Thanks, MK.....we just threw up
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What? No requests for nudie pix of Elton?
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"Face aux moments difficiles, certains d'entre nous sont nés avec le crayon, d'autres avec la gomme. Moi, je n'ai jamais été capable de gommer ce que je vivais. Je dois vivre avec les choses étranges qui m'arrivent."~ Mo Hayder
Shot out like a rocket! Like Valerie Cherish, I didn't need to see (or hear) that!
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 01/18/2011 - 10:55am.
Once the head comes out, the rest follows quickly--god willing. I would say it was more like squirted out than shot out.
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I LOVE to tell first time expectant moms not to freak out about the estimated weight of their baby. What they need to pray for is a fucking small assed head. Chubby legs are NOT what rips you from soup to nuts. It's those goddamed melons of doom.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Meh. Whatever.
And I bet when the baby "shot out like a rocket"... Elton busted into "Rocket Man".
Its kind of furreaky to see because my infant sons had that exact same set of overalls. Now they are 6 feet tall.
Cast my memory back there, Lord
Sometimes I'm overcome thinking 'bout...
Once the head comes out, the rest follows quickly--god willing. I would say it was more like squirted out than shot out.