Chelsea Handler Stomped All Over 50 Cent's Heart
Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent never seriously came out and said that they've been rubbing their nipples against each other, but UsWeekly is saying that they were down low fuck partners at one point. Chelsea has since moved on to Uma Thurman's tossed piece, Andre Balazs, and 50 Cent has been left to clean up the broken pieces of his piggy bank heart. A source says that 50 Cent got the leaky tingles when thinking about all the things he could do with the bulging skinny peen on her forehead, but Chelsea didn't feel the same way. Chelsea took a sledgehammer to 50's open heart.
The source went on to say that Chelsea is on new dick, so when 50 sent her a bunch of gifts for Christmas, "she sent them back. She put a note on one that said, 'I can buy my own gifts.'" Chelsea and 50 were both in Sundance recently, but they stayed away from each other. 50 is still heartbroken over how Chelsea has treated him.
Fuck me with a stack of quarters. Like 50 Pennies is really having a Jennifer Aniston moment over Chelsea sending his stupid presents back? Yes, the image of 50 bundled up in his Hoodie Footie Snuggle Suit and quietly weeping over a framed picture of Chelsea while nibbling on pieces of raw Pillsbury cinnamon roll dough is so real I can practically touch. Please. George Washington Squared has the attention span of an ADD-ridden toddler on crack. Anybody who has spent time on his Twitter page knows this. So 50 probably got sad for a quick minute before the screensaver in his head kicked in and he moved on to the next shit.
In other Chelsea news, Jenna Jameson Tweeted this last night:
HuffPo thinks that a "Jenna Jameson is raunchy" comment from Chelsea is what triggered this swift kick to the vag bone. But are we sure that Jenna didn't mean this as a compliment? I mean, Chelsea Handler is 35 (we're still waiting to see the receipts for that one) and Jenna Jameson is 36, so who in parched clit hell is she calling old? AND Jenna Jameson made her fortune from being one of the biggest professional whores of all professional whores. And yes, you could stuff Chelsea into a bag of dehydrated apricots at Trader Joe's and nobody would know the difference, but Jenna's pussy could get a second job at Home Depot as a rented sander. So again, this Tweet must be a "Welcome to the Club" air kiss from Jenna.
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Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 11:45am.
LMAO
Any anal-loving whore will tell you that you can't get into that with a full tank. It is tacky and shows lack of hygiene. Bottoms and women of the world, make sure you take a dump and wash your butt before you meet your men for back door action...it's the considerate thing to do. And enema or a douche is even better as Sucky pointed out some time ago.
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Bitch are you high? Men don't give a shit (no pun intended) about all that. If you and your man are in the heat of doing the suck and fuck and he spontaneously decides to plow mud he's not gonna stop and ask you to go give yourself an enema. If he DOES you must have a serious case of butt crud or he just ain't that into your ass.
Considering that their father is Baby Huey and their Mom is plastic, Jenna's kids are beautiful.
"Sometimes I get so flushed. Do your palms ever itch?"
so chealse is like FITY (yrs old)!! and she stomped all over FITY's heart.. hmmm, sounds like poetry :)
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Oh, Jenna.
Chelsea makes fun of people's kids because she can and because she's a bitch. (Funny bitch, but still.)
You're a dried up old whore because you have no other choice.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
I'm gonna have to go with TEAM JENNA on this, and here's why...It takes balls of steel to call ANYONE a whore after you made your fortune taking it up the ass (and every other orafice) on film for cash. BALLS OF STEEL. So, I'm not so much team Jenna as I am TEAM BALLS OF STEEL, but Jenna is like fuckin' captain of that team, so what can I do?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Jenna should have ended it with..."And I should know, we can smell our own"
This story is complete bullshit. Why would 50 send Christmas presents to a jew? He ain't that stupid.
Submitted by Klutzy McFucktard on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 1:46pm.
I should read the previous comments, but WHY is graphic anal being discussed?
BECAUSE IT'S DLISTED!!!!!!!
Submitted by Klutzy McFucktard on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 1:46pm.
I should read the previous comments, but WHY is graphic anal being discussed?
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LMFAO!! It started as a joke on this thread... you need to go to yesterday's Elton John post to get the full on HAHAHA's about it. Julesinsd was making a HUGE deal about SOUL-LESS sinners who take it up the ass and all kinds of fun stuff.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Bhahahaha...the master whore calls Hanlder a whore. Wow. Jenna's sons will one day see their mom on a friend's screen in college where she's being tag teamed by 3 guys doing every hole. She should be the one talking about being a whore.
...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 2:38pm.
Jenna Jameson had the best lesbian scene w/ Brittany Andrews. It's the one where they are eating at a restaurant while their husbands are away, then they fuck in the bathroom. I'd give it two thumbs up if my hands weren't busy watching it. =P
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hahahahahhaahaaahhahhaahhahahahahahahahahhaha
I don't buy it. I think 50 Cent gave her the toss out. He got tired of her butt.
jenna jameson calling someone a whore? That's funny.
LOL, love the Jenna Jameson quote.
Why would she be so rude, to send back gifts with a note like that? She could have said that she appreciated the thought but didn't feel that she could keep them.
Unless of course she's an ill-mannered vulgarian.
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"[...] je ne suis pas ce bouffon de Damon Abarn mec, avec son Gorillaz, mec. Beady-Eye c'est un putain de groupe, mec", me balance-t-il, avec son méchant accent de Manchester..."
Mummy always said, it takes one to know one
Jenna Jameson had the best lesbian scene w/ Brittany Andrews. It's the one where they are eating at a restaurant while their husbands are away, then they fuck in the bathroom. I'd give it two thumbs up if my hands weren't busy watching it. =P
i dont believe this crap one bit - he prob pissed her off in some way so they broke up, he felt bad about it ( but prob didn't understand how he did piss her off completely cause she's way temperamental) and sent her gifts just to be civil/nice/apologize. she sent them back because she's cranky. no way she's 35.
Submitted by Klutzy McFucktard on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 1:46pm.
I should read the previous comments, but WHY is graphic anal being discussed?
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You would have had to have been here yesterday to understand.
Get yo dik away from my ass!!!!!!
Queenie did you get the job?!?!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
How did we get into the back-door speak?
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Klutzy McFucktard on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 1:46pm.
I should read the previous comments, but WHY is graphic anal being discussed?
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Becuz this is a post about Chelsea Handler, Jenna Jameson and 50 Cent, of course! What else are we gonna talk about? Politics? ;p
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
I don't want to understand this miracle of anal sex. I can barely stand the feeling of taking a shit.
I should read the previous comments, but WHY is graphic anal being discussed?
Looks more like he stomped all over her face.
Figuratively speaking.
Botox vein much?
Also: I pity people who don't understand the miracle of anal sex. And don't act like it's all dirty and you're above it. Sex as a whole is not a virtuous or clean act. It's primal and sloppy and that's why it's so fun.
That Jenna sure done got uppity since her vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Just googled Sadie Sandler, she aint butters, she's a dead cute, happy looking little kid. Much more adorable than freaky satan spawn Suri.
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It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious
I like her, but as for her being 35, either she's lying or the vodka has aged her. Homegirl has lived hard, so it's not surprising that she would look older. And if she rejected 50 after a bunch of gifts, GOOD. This is an idiot who cons his fans for money from the stock market (is he gonna get sued for that?) and flaunts his money, totally inconsiderate of how people are struggling in this economy, especially minorities.
I have more respect for porn stars than I do who live their lives lying about what they really are and mind fucking the public into forgetting it ie Paris, KK, Krapshit Perry, etc. A woman who openly fucks for a living deserves more respect than one who acts like a snob while whoring out her emotions, her family and everything else.
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"Oprah's "big secrets" are sometimes like a 9-inch peen you've never met before. It's all hard with excitement and every single vein is throbbing at the anticipation of getting inside you. And then when it
I don't understand the need for anal sex at all, and am not interested in doing it because of all the tedious preparation I expect would be involved beforehand. Enemas don't exactly sound like a fun day out in the park.
Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 11:45am.
LMAO
Any anal-loving whore will tell you that you can't get into that with a full tank. It is tacky and shows lack of hygiene. Bottoms and women of the world, make sure you take a dump and wash your butt before you meet your men for back door action...it's the considerate thing to do. And enema or a douche is even better as Sucky pointed out some time ago.
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Thanks for the advice! Having never had any back-door action, should the opportunity arise I shall be prepared appropriately!
Who needs school when you've got Dlisted? :-)
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Oh boy. Where are the pot and the kettle when you need them.
Wait Wait.... Jenna Jameson called someone a whore.... How does that work?
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Please get the fuck out ---->
And Jenna ... you used to be hot. Now you look like a freak.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
NO FUCKING WAY is Chelsea five years YOUNGER than I am. There is no way in HELL.
OffT - need open post!
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
to quote Dave Chappelle (sort of);
Chelsea Handler wears underwear with dick holes in them.
No way Handler is 35. Mid 40's. And Jenna is correct Chelsea is NOT funny. All she does is talk shit about people and screw rich men at TV networks.
who's 35? who's 36? please with these two professional hoes...
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i lift things up and put them down...
"Jenna's pussy could get a second job at Home Depot as a rented sander"
Well, that statement made coffee spray outta my nose. Probably true too.
"each night I go to bed, I pray like Aretha Franklin"..Scritti Politti's "Wood Beez"
50-Cent Piece has major gay face.
Jenna Jameson calling anyone a dried-up old whore is really funny, since she invented the description.
And never mind yo - Jenna is still tryna earn in porn. She's not doing very well (haha!). I don't like Chelsea and there was time I would have been totally team Jenna but all that shit she did to her face, the way she was a huge force in the ruination of Aubrey, hanging with Paris...I just can't with her anymore. And plus she's lying - Chelsea never talked about anyone's kids.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 11:45am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 11:36am.
LOL repent fecal matter lovers!!! REPENT!
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LMAO
Any anal-loving whore will tell you that you can't get into that with a full tank. It is tacky and shows lack of hygiene. Bottoms and women of the world, make sure you take a dump and wash your butt before you meet your men for back door action...it's the considerate thing to do. And enema or a douche is even better as Sucky pointed out some time ago.
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the gospel ~ by Reverand SpiceDong
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Pot meet kettle = coming from the biggest whore of them all .. Jenna !
Try explaining those millions of dollars you earned (spreading your legs and opening your mouth to anyone that walked) ... to your poor boys when they are old enough to understand. Maybe some people just shouldnt procreate.
SpiceDong:
Yeah, and that something is called bootleg botox!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 11:36am.
LOL repent fecal matter lovers!!! REPENT!
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LMAO
Any anal-loving whore will tell you that you can't get into that with a full tank. It is tacky and shows lack of hygiene. Bottoms and women of the world, make sure you take a dump and wash your butt before you meet your men for back door action...it's the considerate thing to do. And enema or a douche is even better as Sucky pointed out some time ago.
"I have your new dicks on my kitchen counter." Tammy Lynn
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
chelsea handler aint funny
only window lickers like her
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 01/27/2011 - 11:10am.
Haggard, worn-out, brittle, and washed up in their mid-30s!
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Actually, I have come across a lot of people in their late teens and 20s who already look like that...must be something in the water.
"I have your new dicks on my kitchen counter." Tammy Lynn
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
LOL repent fecal matter lovers!!! REPENT!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Ooooh! Jacko! Trying to stir shit!