Porn Stars & Bricks Of Coke: Just A Regular Night For Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen is still in the hospital with stomach problems (acokecitis or extra-large cokestones) and more details are coming out about his 24-hour porn star party fueled by booze and the bad shit. Let's start with the porn stars. 22-year-old Kacey Jordan reportedly Tweeted this picture (click here if you want to see the NSFW labia Charlie probably did lines off of) of her peek-a-boo pussy while spending time at Charlie's house yesterday afternoon. It's nice to see that Charlie gargles his urethra out with mouthwash and Lysol wipes his perma-soft dick before slapping it on a porn star's forehead. Charlie should host a show called "How Clean Is Your Ho?" when he gets out of the hospital.
Radar reports that Kacey wasn't the only porn star at Charlie's party. 19-year-old Melanie Rios was with Charlie this morning when his stomach convulsed and tried to escape out of his asshole. Melanie left Charlie's house right after he was taken to the hospital. Now on to the bad shit....
Someone who was at Charlie's house last night tells TMZ that during his 36-hour booze and bagina binge party, a dealer showed up with a briefcase full of cocaine. Who knows how many bricks of Lohan powder Charlie picked up, but the source says that he started snorting that shit up his nostrils almost immediately. This might've been the silver bullet that fucked up Charlie's insides. TMZ also reports that doctors have diagnosed Charlie with a hiatal hernia. They don't think he overdosed, but one of the causes of a hiatal hernia is cocaine use. One of the causes is also "straining" and you know that motherfucker uses every muscle and nerve in his body to try to make a whisper of a boner. Bitch pushes so hard that instead of making a hard thing come up in the front, he makes a hard thing come out of the back. Not a good look.
So to recap, TMZ claims that Charlie didn't OD and is simply suffering from a hernia he's had for years. Charlie drank enough booze to keep one of my family reunions going for at least 2 hours, snorted half of Scarface and dry humped on several porn stars for hours. But yet it's only a hernia that put him out? Damn, I guess they better start slapping "WARNING: Lift with Care" labels on vodka bottles, cocaine bricks and porn stars.
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Is that a coffee table or one of those bedroom nightstands on wheels, like in the hospital?
I thought the latter, it would be more useful to Charlie...
So, on my nightstand, boring, box of tissues, books and magazines, glass of water, table lamp, nail clippers, glasses.
My coffee table, books and mags, cigs, ashtray, a vase of flowers when I'm feeling flush, glass of wine most nights and my dinner. Sometimes a few stray dog collars, which I may or may not remove before eating dinner, sadly.
I hate eating at the table alone.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
The whole fucking Sheen family gathered -for a fucking hernia! You know they're disappointed. They wanted some MJ-type headlines and some inheritance.
The only reason Charlie Sheen is still working is his tired ass show still has enough viewers to keep the advertisers happy. What a loser sad sack to hang out with hookers and get wasted, when everyone knows what a headcase substance abuser he is anymore. Charlie gets sick, or insane, has stomach issues, or pumps. Pathetic.
Submitted by bitchette on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 1:58pm.
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Shit, I forgot about under the coffee table. OK... a used SIM card for my phone, slippers, dead whale carcass and a half-chewed Skittle.
My coffee table: Dust, socks, a huge glass of boxed Sauvignon Blanc, Scotch tape, dust, an eraser, water rings, DUST and 14 remotes that I have no idea how to use.
Submitted by Happy Hour on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 1:16pm.
"Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 1:13pm.
The only thing on my coffee tables are fingerprints because I'm a tard who forgot you don't own anything glass when you have kids and if I put things on display, Thing 3 will bring them to me one by one forty times a day
Ditto
ditto #2...can't wait until I can put stuff on my coffee table again.
anyway I guess I'm tardy to this party but does anyone else wonder how a father as "great" as Martin Sheen could have such a fucked up son? you mean to tell me that you can be a really great parent and have been there for your kids and done all you can do and end up not just with a FAIL for a kid, but an EPIC MEGA FAIL OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS for a child? seriously??? that's extremely scary.
unless of course, like I think...there's some sort of skeleton in the family closet such that dad feels guilty enough to keep covering for his son Meltdown McGee. I dunno, if I did everything I could and my son ended up being a total fucking failure, I'd be like "eff that shit" and change my number. Don't get me wrong, I love my child to absolute death, would absolutely take several bullets for him, can't even stand to see him cry when he's punished...but to just be so incredibly deviant? fuck that.
ok! my coffee table - i'm guessing bc i'm not at home
dirty dishes, thanks to the man. and when i try to bring them to the kitchen he says- I'LL GET THEM. ok
mail
lighters
pipe (emtpy, but we can't seem to put it out of sight)
ashtray
candle
underneath the coffee table, dog bone and random doggie toys
a few mis matched sock (again with the I'LL GET THEM)
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Oh and to add....OF COURSE Charlie has glass tables in his house, I mean. It was either that or mirrored.
I'm still trying to figure out, which is the 'chaser', the porn star or the coke?
"Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 1:13pm.
The only thing on my coffee tables are fingerprints because I'm a tard who forgot you don't own anything glass when you have kids and if I put things on display, Thing 3 will bring them to me one by one forty times a day
Ditto
LOL Ulvy that's so cute but kids are like that, LOL
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
"WE ATE POSICLES BITCH LAY OFF!!" Jacko
The only thing on my coffee tables are fingerprints because I'm a tard who forgot you don't own anything glass when you have kids and if I put things on display, Thing 3 will bring them to me one by one forty times a day.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
I wonder if the feds are trying to get to TMZ's source that told them about the briefcase. If they give up the source I would think she would have to answer a whole lot of questions, mainly "what is the name of the dealer?"
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
For a millionaire he has one ugly fire place. And wood paneling painted beige?
And you can't tell me Sheen isn't snorting coke and popping viagra by the handful. He can get it up... with the help of a little blue pill.
That pink thing is a bottle of Bed Head After Party hair-smoothing creme. Yeah, I've used it before. One time I was on the bus going to work and whipped it out to smooth down some hair fuzz, and the guy next to me looked a little shocked ...
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 9:08am.
Let's play "What's On Your Coffee Table?" !!:
My coffee table has two remote controls, a mouse-shaped wooden cutting board with browning apple slices and clementine peels on it. A sketch pad and magic markers, pop-up picture book, a Zhu Zhu Pet and a Strawberry Shortcake scented figurine from a Happy Meal.
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Old issues of Majesty magazine, Diane Arbus and Keith Haring art books, Homes of Jim Williams photo book, Jackie Kennedy wardrobe book, and a lilac candle.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Since I'm an OCD non clutter freak, my coffee table was replaced by an ottoman that opens up, all our Wii shit is inside, including the remotes for the TV/DVD. There is nothing on top of it.
Actually, when I had a coffee table, there was nothing on top of it either.
*points at self*
FREAK!
I am confused by all the "stuff" on that table, the listerine, I get. Coke cotton mouf is nassy, especially if you're smoking and shit. But I don't get the other stuff. Is that an empty bottle of vodka or rubbing alcohol? Is that hand lotion in the far right corner? Pink Bong?
And hernia my ASS!!!!!!
Why is..nevermind. Everyone's covering for Charlie because he knows enough shit to take down Hollywood.
I can't help thinking that for all the perceived "fun" involved with a life filled with blow, booze, and endless hookers, that Sheen's life seems totally joyless. His family needs to keep him in that hospital and get him cleaned up.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 10:15am.
LOS ANGELES (CBS/AP) — Charlie Sheen, who had been hospitalized with severe abdominal pains, has reportedly checked out, according to Entertainment Tonight.
Publicist Stan Rosenfield says Sheen has had a history of hernia problems and that the unidentified woman who made the early morning 911 call on Sheen’s behalf "said he had severe stomach pains and said it was from a hernia condition."
I KNEW those hookers were nurses, too.
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Lol! It'd be funny if porn stars had to be CPR certified. There's so many things you could potentially choke to death on on one of those sets...
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 9:35am.
Whamo: Whatever it is, there are two per box. I've spent WAY too much time trying to figure it out. *hangs head in shame*
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Me too, LOL, I thought it't might have said 2 ply or something like that. Either way it too will need to be disinfected.
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 9:54am.
This is really sad and gross. He could have so much more to live for, especially those beautiful kids. Apparently he's just a bad person and disgusting perverted junkie.
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That really is an awful shame. Are his youngest children even two yet? You'd think he'd want to watch them grow up, but apparently he's just a selfish shit.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
What the hell are Lysol wipes for? Bukkake?
LOS ANGELES (CBS/AP) — Charlie Sheen, who had been hospitalized with severe abdominal pains, has reportedly checked out, according to Entertainment Tonight.
Publicist Stan Rosenfield says Sheen has had a history of hernia problems and that the unidentified woman who made the early morning 911 call on Sheen’s behalf "said he had severe stomach pains and said it was from a hernia condition."
I KNEW those hookers were nurses, too.
Yes, prostitution is illegal. I think some of these women actually do star in films, so they can be called porn stars. You know what else is illegal? A briefcase full of blow. Why aren't the feds all over this?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 10:06am.
I bet he had cocaine-induced mesenteric ischemia. Basically he had so much coke in his system, the blood vessels in his gut constricted and he lost circulation to his bowel. He'll need a ho who can change a colostomy bag if he doesn't watch it.
Like that'll make him stop. I don't think you're hungry on a coke binge, are you?
The one tidbit I liked was it was a designer briefcase of coke.
I bet he had cocaine-induced mesenteric ischemia. Basically he had so much coke in his system, the blood vessels in his gut constricted and he lost circulation to his bowel. He'll need a ho who can change a colostomy bag if he doesn't watch it.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1305435/pdf/westjmed00316-00...
Hekki,
Actually I was pretty intrigued by some of the stuff over on your table. Sounds fun!
Ahhaha Rusty,
I know, right?! Disinfectants, decongestants, gels, creams, lotions... damn.
is that a hot pink dildo in the back?
Sugarfree! Yes! I think it is. I was wondering that too...or maybe a bong?
I'll never know why Sheen blows his money on hookers...judging by the photo, he could get the same effect from sticking his limp dick in a half pound of roast beef wrapped in dried out leather scraps.
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Fancy's Big Surprise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3r5BLdqxig
Fancy's Big Surprise Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4we9Ivg9M
Is prostitution illegal in the US? Is that why these women call themselves porn stars, so they don't get arrested for prostitution? (Serious question)
This is really sad and gross. He could have so much more to live for, especially those beautiful kids. Apparently he's just a bad person and disgusting perverted junkie.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I don't have that much medicinal stuff in my medicine cabinet. Who knew getting off was so much work?
madam s: I'm coming to YOUR place! I was wondering what those were, too. I'm trying to find an enlarged photo so I can read what it says.
Whamo: Whatever it is, there are two per box. I've spent WAY too much time trying to figure it out. *hangs head in shame*
Charlie is most definitely a sex addict amongst other things but I wonder... is the sex always super good?? Doesn't it get old after awhile even if it's different women every night? It's amazing how he's able to live this lifestyle and still work his job. I still feel he sold his soul to the devil.
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I Love You More
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Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 9:10am.
What's that box on the far right? Anyone know?
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Shrink wrapped serviettes?
Hekki,
I don't know, but do you know what the little bags in the middle that say 99 cents are?
My coffee table has on it: books (I won't list them all because I just counted 26), and my mug of Earl Grey tea.
Submitted by BangoSkank on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 8:03am.
Agreed Whamo-
I'd love to hangout --preferably while wearing one of the those CDC Biohazard getups-- and watch this shit go down.
It had to have been a thing of pure over-the-top fucked-up beauty.
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Biohazard suit... lmao,
That is really the most depressing, nasty scene ever.
What's that box on the far right? Anyone know?
Let's play "What's On Your Coffee Table?" !!:
My coffee table has two remote controls, a mouse-shaped wooden cutting board with browning apple slices and clementine peels on it. A sketch pad and magic markers, pop-up picture book, a Zhu Zhu Pet and a Strawberry Shortcake scented figurine from a Happy Meal.
From what I can see, his house is pretty low-grade for such a highly-paid actor, no?
LOL Just hearing about this mess now. Such random items on that table fking hilarious. Sheen is a trip; he's looking to exit with a bang(s) I guess. The chicks just get skankier too. Each incident keeps outdoing the last escapade. He isn't making through this year. Next.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
The life of a porn star seems really glamorous... fucking for money off camera as well.
Did she deliberately turn all the bottles and cans so the labels didn't show to avoid product placement issues with the legal department? Or are all the bottles and cans eagerly waiting for them to start a fire?
I'm reminded of Homer Simpson buying illegal fireworks every time Sheen goes on another binge. And after seeing this pic, I think that scene fits it so well:
http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/60440/detail/
I keep expecting to see boxes of disposable enemas and panty shields on that coffee table. 8|
I'm getting a yeast infection just looking at that cooch eating up those dirty ass polyester undies.
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Fancy's Big Surprise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3r5BLdqxig
Fancy's Big Surprise Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4we9Ivg9M
Porn star sound much too glamorous for these girls! Wannabe low rent prostitution whores!
His house looks remarkably low rent and outdated for a guy who rakes in so much money.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green