Once Upon A Time In 1994....
Instead of having a conversation about the fact that Katie Couric still has Jonathan Bower hair in 1994, the curious minds at Today ask what the mysterious land of question marks called Internet is exactly? Do dragons live there? What's the answer to the riddle the troll guarding the gate asks? How does it work? Their conversation is basically the lyrics to an Insane Clown Posse song. It's also the thought process Tom Cruise goes through when faced with a live vagina.
Was 1994 that long ago? It doesn't feel like yesterday when I was spending 8 hours trying to log onto AOL to spend 3-minutes in a gay chat room before getting knocked off because some cock blocker was calling for my sister. Time flies when you're trying to connect via a phone line.
And seriously, I just want to be the voice of the future and tell these cavemen of the past that the Internet is a place for you to stalk your exes, stare at cat videos, watch easy access porn and laugh at bitches from the 90s trying to figure out what that @ symbol thing is.
via Warming Glow
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I would spend hours upon hours hooked online, jerkin off to gay porn. I was in 7th/8th grade. I also had about 7 online boyfriends, call me a cyber-slut, but the only viruses I ever had to deal with were damn Trojans....ironic.
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I remember my teachers back in the day talking about e-mail. A parent told one of them to email her at her HOTMAIL account and they burst out giggling in the hallway (obviously because of the *hot* in Hotmail). Nowadays I'm surprised if anyone still uses it.
LMAO! This is too funny! I remember the chat rooms! All filled with fucking old ass pervert men. Anyway dial up sucked! I hated that stupid ass noise it made.
I first got the internet in 1998. I was so amazed, and sooo happy. I think my first website I looked at was No Doubt and Third Eye Blind. I even found video,,,that was so damn choppy. I think I saw 3 seconds and it cut out...then 2 seconds...then *freeze*.
When I was going to school I had to call home to mom to pick me up....this was 1998...parents didn't have a cell...I didn't have a cell..so I call home and all I get is a busy tone. Fucking dad was on the internet for hours... finally got pissed and ended up walking home after hours of trying to call them to come get me.....I was beyond livid when I got home. Dad was probably just discovering internet porn.
What the hell do Condoleeza Rice, Obama and Dorothy Hamill have to talk about?
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Submitted by zinnia on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 3:26pm
Ahaha my aunt used to wake up in the middle of the night and light up. Apparently she did this in sleep because when you'd try to talk to her she'd just mumble or not say anything and keeping taking drags. She was the reason I tried my first cigarette at like 4.
Submitted by AtomicCity on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 8:30pm
Oregon trail was the shit. I think I spent most of my early school days playing that. Damn the Texas school system for trading in Macs for Dells.
As much as I love googling everything I need to know, I wouldn't hate it if the internet ceased to exist. People are too willing to put entirely too much information out into the universe. What ever happened to discretion? People seem to have no social filters anymore.
Having said that, I wouldn't mind regressing to my middle school days of playing Oregon Trail. My computer concerns went no further than hoping my screen didn't read, "You have died of dysentary" (I still have no working knowledge of what dysentary is. *running to Google*).
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 8:40am.
Has anyone else noticed that people born after, let's say, 1990, cannot hold a conversation to save their life? All of these advancements have made people social lepers.
And did ANYONE ever like Bryant Gumbel? I much prefer his brother!
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You speak the tooth! Let's not even get into the grammar problems people have.
Hated Gumball and am glad he spends his life golfing now.
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 10:31am.
Other than making some research stuff a little quicker/easier, I can't say I think the internet is an improvement on life. I would happily have no internet days back.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:23am.
I totally don't mind the internet. What I do mind are all the mobile devices and everyone's incessant need to use them without discretion.
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Ahh... we can never go back now :(
I love the convenience of the Internet, but it is simultaneously kind of the bane of my life. Without it I would be much more 'unlearned' of cooking, international relations, quirky things about life in general. At the same time, so much stuff that has come about with the Internet is so overwhelmingly obnoxious.
Sometimes now it's even hard to get people to TALK on the damn phone with you. It makes me wonder where things are going to be in, say, twenty years? I mean, how long can people sustain interest in this kind of 'social' behavior? Will everything be worse or will be have regressed somewhat? It would be nice if we could maintain the convenience of the Internet but kind of get back to communicating with people "in the real world." Maybe there will be some government reforms or something...
Also, I miss when I used to be able to meet interesting people on shit like chat rooms or ICQ. Now most of the people I used to talk to online I either don't know anymore or the "real life friends" stopped using anything other than facebook (urgh).
Remember around 96-99 when it was cool and a must to have your own domain as a teen girl? Even when you didn't have shit to say, you had to try and seem profound. And web design skills were judged heavily. Oh wow, I miss those days when I knew html better than social studies. I can barely even remember those html tags now.
And yeah, a lot of pervs were online back then. And they still are but they don't want you now because you are of age and Chris Hansen scared the shit out of them.
@fishy: I have! But it's always good for another watch:) And I just saw this movie, too, called Chatroom...where it's all back and forth like that...but way more macabre...
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
Way back when, we had to send photos via snail mail. Nothing like waiting a week to see if the guy from overseas is hot or not. It's so weird to me that on-line dating is so common. Back when I met and married my on-line dude, it was not common at all and something to be whispered in embarrassment. Even today I feel that bit of embarrassment even though people do it all the time now. Doesn't help we divorced after 9 years. Internet dating today is frightening. I want to meet a man in person now and it's not easy to do that here. Hate Facebook.
Agree with everyone who said young'uns can't hold a conversation without an electronic implement in their hands.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 5:57pm.
Have you seen Dave Chappelle's take on the internet?
IF THE INTERNET WAS A REAL PLACE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8U7HztvetQk
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
It's actually so funny to read you guys talk about cybering each other and such. I totally missed out on all that...and now they make movies and shit about it and, honestly? I can not think about these chatrooms without seeing them IRL. Like you guys are all in these weird empty rooms with your backs faced to each other in total silence...just the click click clicking of the keyboards....tryna guess who's in the room and what's going on...
Seriously - it all sounds like science fiction to me....which is kinda weird cuz I'm sure my life right now would seem like science fiction to the me that was running around while you guys were all cybering...
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
I remember my boyfriend calling 411 in 1992 and asking for "the internet". :D We were given the number for a local ISP called MindVox. It turned out to be a good match.
Lynx, IRC, DOS .......
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The real life horror of Monsanto: David vs Monsanto
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E42ndfjnP1g
Submitted by Chirio on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 4:58pm.
Yeah my first time seeing a penis was via chatroom picture email
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You promised you would never tell!
Nitty! I had a similar experience, I cried
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6dK-FQs4jk&feature=player_embedded
"Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!" -MK
youre asexual, I love penii too much, I mean who are we to judge
loll
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6dK-FQs4jk&feature=player_embedded
"Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!" -MK
*hugs Nitty* LOL!!!!
Coma Caca!
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That is too funny. It's amazing what happened in so quick a time. I remember the first web site I tried was at a library and it was Martha Stewart's. I tried that because it was the first address I heard about. I had a dickens of a time figuring it out! A few years later I met my husband in a chat room, married in Vegas in 2000 and we're still together with two children! What a world, what a world!! :)
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I Love You More
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@Nitty: LOL! That's freaky. I wonder how damaged the kid who pulled them apart is!
♥ Threadkilla!
Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~George Bernard Shaw
HUFFY BARFDAY, DLISTED!!!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iRV7boog0
Never knew that was called a "knot" Kiernax. But now I know...It what I'll call one of the most TERRIFYING moments of my life.
3rd grade on a sleepover. Kid's parents were gone when her two wiener dogs starting having sex. Her older brother ran in and yelled at them. They tried to break apart and the poor girl dog just started running and the boy wiener dog pulled out so hard and at the wrong time and he just kept shrieking and his junk was hanging out on the floor. It never went back in and it kept howling/whining till the parents got home and took him to the vet.
I was an hysterical mess calling for my parents to pick me up..but they weren't home either :(
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
Yeah my first time seeing a penis was via chatroom picture email
the first time seeing a naked girl other than me was when a friend of mine. I was around 13sh locked me in the boat closet and I saw playboy magazines around. weird.
No wonder I am asexual. ahahahaaha now we have porn ...not as tabooish..lol
Coma Caca!
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chirio, the first time I saw a penis was a random AOL chatroom perv.
the first time I saw a woman naked, I was 5 and found my dads playboy under his bed.
Little fucked up eh
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6dK-FQs4jk&feature=player_embedded
"Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!" -MK
Oh and once at school...the sexual active girls ( I lost my V at 19) anyways....I overheard one saying "finger banging" and I was like hmmm Ima ask my godmommy what that is. So I asked her what that was...her jaw dropped and told me to go to my room. I asked in chatrooms what that was...and then I found out what it was. and then fisting came later. interesting times. chatrooms ...a place where you learn about all sorts of sex shit
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by kieranx on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:55am.
take that story back....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6dK-FQs4jk&feature=player_embedded
"Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!" -MK
Submitted by jackie on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:51am.
I dont knowwwww lol I'll tell ya, that image was seared in my brain.... *shivers*
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6dK-FQs4jk&feature=player_embedded
"Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!" -MK
kieranx!!!!! LOL! I feel ya. Lets drink to losing our innocence!!! ***HUGS***
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by sinjin on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 1:45pm.
@Kieranx & Sybil:
Gah! FAMILY SHIELD! FAMILY SHIELD!
I'm glad I don't know what a "Knot" is and I don't wanna know!
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Oh, I had to ask. The door had been opened and there was no turning back.
I forgot about the 2nd part of this story (it's been a while since I dredged it up, actually). In between my seeing the photo of Mrs. Jenkins screwing the pooch (literally), some other guy popped into the room and basically asked the same question I did about Knots Landing. So I imed him and said, "Uhhh, that's not what this room is about." (Why I was still in the room, I can't remember, but I probably just HAD to know what a knot had to do with doggie on lady action).
So he goes- What's it about? And I said- Women fucking dogs. And he goes- I'm gonna report you! So I said- Fine, don't believe me. And I jammed out of there just as the first Mr. Helpful provided me with the definition of a knot.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
ubmitted by kieranx on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:55am.
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I am DYING laughing at your story!
Is that an Elton John 8 track in your avvie?
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It is, yes. : )
I've been offline this morning/afternoon due to having my hard drive replaced in my laptop. It was going south, so I had it done before it completely died. Wish I'd have done that with my desktop. : (
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 4:12pm.
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
~I'm a millionaire and I'm a widower looking for a woman who loves medieval interests. I used to be a model but once the kids came around I just went back to school and finished up my Ph.D in Sociology and volunteer at a local women's and children's shelter.
Something like that?
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*FAINTS someone call the police* ahahahaahaha I am asssssscared
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Chirio on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 4:02pm.
OMGAAAAAAAAAA Nitty!!! and he sent me a letter and wrote like that ahahahaahah. on the bottom (yeah I still remember) he drew a prince on one knee and his sword by his side. I guess probably that was his penis...nowadays......INNOCENCE LOST!!!
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LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
~I'm a millionaire and I'm a widower looking for a woman who loves medieval interests. I used to be a model but once the kids came around I just went back to school and finished up my Ph.D in Sociology and volunteer at a local women's and children's shelter.
Something like that?
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
OKlAHOMA1MKNIGHT are you here? if so hit me up on Facebook! aahahaahahahahahahaha My LORD I have never forgotten you. ahahahahahahaha
Coma Caca!
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OMGAAAAAAAAAA Nitty!!! and he sent me a letter and wrote like that ahahahaahah. on the bottom (yeah I still remember) he drew a prince on one knee and his sword by his side. I guess probably that was his penis...nowadays......INNOCENCE LOST!!!
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Chirio on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 3:38pm.
So yeah...not sure how old I was...my first computer was a Mac. Yeah. simple. I think my first internet chat times were around 15yrs old when I discovered the "internet chat" on Prodigy. Ofcourse I was innocent. My first internet love lived in Shawnee,Ok. don't really know how that came out. I was into medieval times. and I came across that chat. I thought I found my people until I got my first IM from my love and dude said I was his princess and shit. modaaaaafuckaaaaaaa. He said he was 16sh but then I found out figured by his photo he was around 30sh. no wonder I like older men. ahahahaha. I am screwed...no wonder why. we were gonna live in a castle mmmkay!! DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME!!! lol so sad.
Coma Caca!
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So sad, indeed, M'lady. Shall I smite that prince in thy honor? *dons Knights armor from the Renaissance Festival.*
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"Just wait till one of their children disappear. They won't be calling me fake then!" The classy "Medium" Allison DuBois
So yeah...not sure how old I was...my first computer was a Mac. Yeah. simple. I think my first internet chat times were around 15yrs old when I discovered the "internet chat" on Prodigy. Ofcourse I was innocent. My first internet love lived in Shawnee,Ok. don't really know how that came out. I was into medieval times. and I came across that chat. I thought I found my people until I got my first IM from my love and dude said I was his princess and shit. modaaaaafuckaaaaaaa. He said he was 16sh but then I found out figured by his photo he was around 30sh. no wonder I like older men. ahahahaha. I am screwed...no wonder why. we were gonna live in a castle mmmkay!! DONT FUCKING JUDGE ME!!! lol so sad.
Coma Caca!
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@Submitted by fishsticksfan on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:03am.
Hekki, reading dlisted totally counts as reading. "
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It does? Thank God lol..my reading has also decreased...but also I think (I know..) I need reading glasses and I just don't want to fess up to that! So reading at the computer is easier...
@
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:01am.
Remember when fax machines were so cool? I had just started working after school and the oldies were all flustered because they were used to telexes! (look it up) It's like the way people used to smoke everywhere and now you can't smoke anywhere - I used to smoke at the reception desk I manned! My kids can't imagine a world like that.
"
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Hahaha! Yes oh I remember that. My whole family mom dad and two older siblings smoke inside the house. Like nemas problemas. Four people in the living room just lighting it up +guests, and a "broadloom"(?I looked that word up? A carpet covering all the apartment how firesafe..).
And I was like 4 years old! No wonder I am allergic Jesus!!!
And people smoked in the bed (!!!) before sleep causing many tragedies.
It really seems like a different world.
Do chatrooms even exist anymore? I tried to go on AIM chat on AOL and it says it's closed. The only other chatrooms I see are all adult ones.
Are there any normal ones that people still use?
Oh those gay chat rooms on AOL !! Brings back fond memories of midnight quickies with someone u just chatted with an hour before !! It was like Craigslist but so much quicker.
I remember in my high school freshman year biology class being told that I needed to email one of the class projects. I cried because I couldn't figure out how to email as we had just gotten dial-up internet at home. I was afraid I'd fail the project. How times have changed.
AOL chatrooms were the greatest thing about the internet in the 90s.
Those were the golden years, when callers would be met with a garbled screeching sound whenever they tried to interupt your masturbation marathons.
Nothing was more satisfying that knowing that your self-abuse was causing HARM to others. So fucking good!
Now people are free to call you whenever the fuck they like, regardless of the status of your pants.
I have such fond memories of my parents screaming up the stairs because they couldn't make any calls, or when the bill came in and they realised how much time I had spent on AOL chatrooms or checking out some random Friends fan site.
Kids have such poor nutrition these days. The various forms of attention disorders that they have from eating sugar drinks is disgusting. They probably wouldn't be able to wait until 7 for AOL to drop their connection charges.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
@Kieranx & Sybil:
Gah! FAMILY SHIELD! FAMILY SHIELD!
I'm glad I don't know what a "Knot" is and I don't wanna know!
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***"Charlie should host a show called "How Clean Is Your Ho?" --MK***
I wasn`t online in 94. I was out and about , being 18, a drunken whore and loving it....
Your fucking chatroom stories are killing me. Never been in a chatroom, won`t ever after hearing THAT...lol
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fuck those goddamn son of a horses i got better things to do like love landwhale and bake some bread and tell some fuckers to fuck off.----charlie m.
Submitted by kieranx on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 11:55am.
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I am DYING laughing at your story!
Is that an Elton John 8 track in your avvie?
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I would spend hours upon hours hooked online, jerkin off to gay porn. I was in 7th/8th grade. I also had about 7 online boyfriends, call me a cyber-slut, but the only viruses I ever had to deal with were damn Trojans....ironic.
Submitted by spankypants on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 12:48pm.
My mother is the first person I knew to use e-mail for work but they didn't call it e-mail. She would speak of "Windows" in hushed tones waiting for another person to know what she was talking about.
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This made me chuckle. The last time I visited my parents, who are in their 70's, they invited a bunch of their senior friends over for a dinner party. I held the entire dinner table in thrall, explaining how to cut and paste and also use the "Control F" feature to search out a word or phrase in a doc. They were oooohing and ahhhing as though I was revealing the secret of King Tut's tomb, ahahahaha..
(My stepfather took me aside later for a tutorial in how to remove the browsing history from his PC. Ahem)
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Je suis une meringue ambulante
Submitted by sybil on Sat, 01/29/2011 - 12:46pm.
In the 90's when I first figured out the internet, I remember finding an "I love my dog" chat room on a Saturday night; I was so excited to type my first question:"Are there any Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier fans out there?" Within a minute, "Dave in Detroit" told me if I really loved my dog, I should "stuff my vagina with tunafish & let my Wheaten Terrier go to work"
HAHAHAHAHA (sorry).
Hey, puters used to be as big as rooms and you fed them punch-cards or paper teletype on a roll. No sitting in Starbucks then.
I remember when my friend bought Prodigy for her Mac. I asked her what it was for and she said you could order flowers from your computer and buy movie tickets. Big deal!