In the head?! In the head?! But that's where the Shangri-La of platinum coated wet dreams lies. That's his money! That's his beauty! That's his EVERYTHING! Does JetBlue fly to Egypt, because somebody has to protect Mah Boo from those evil beauty haters! My head is already used to getting struck with heavy loads and whatever is left of my brain is padded with bullshit, so I can take it. Punch me instead!
Then I can get my free clinic nurse practitioner to prescribe a heavy dose of Mah Boo saliva to heal my head wounds. Yes, I just typed Mah Boo, saliva and head in the same sentence. Cancel my JetBlue reservation, because my b-hole is flapping so hard that I can fly there myself.
See, this is what happens when you cancel the Internet. BOOS GET HURT!
UPDATE: As I step off the ledge.... Mah Boo's silver blanket of angel cum is safe and sound! Shortly after the boo brawl, Anderson safely reported from a balcony on how he got through an episode of The Bad Girls Club: Cairo. No visible bruises and no rips to his polo shirt. All is well again (Although, it's really not well again since people are still punching people in Egypt). Can't CNN send Michael Lohan or Spencer Pratt to Egypt instead?
via HuffPo (Thanks to all ten million of you who sent this in!)