Escandalo: The Julia Roberts & Javier Bardem Affair Rumor Is Ruining Her Marriage
There has been a blind item or two suggesting that Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem did some Fuck Cum Hump shit during and after they shot Eat Pray Love together, and now that rumor is chipping at the Elmer's Glue that holds her marriage to that Danny Moder dude together. The rumor really sort of took off when Julia slobbered like a horny Mastiff while saying that if Javier doesn't get an Oscar nomination for Biutiful, then we should all just go to bed.
Yes, because we all know that if you praise someone in public, it means that you've had their sex fluids on several parts of your body at least a few times. Your vagina is doing the talking while your face mouth is just moving. Yes, that's how it works. While Julia was talking about Javier winning the Oscar, she thought about the time she painted his peen gold and then held it while giving an acceptance speech. That happened, obviously. And that's what Julia's husband Danny is starting to think.
A source (aka an intern who's into horse and German Shepard porn) tells The National Enquirer (via SS) that Danny is sniffing Julia's mouth for the spicy scent of hot picante Spanish chorizo. The source yanks all of our dicks while saying, “There’s talk around Hollywood that the reason Julia’s singing Javier’s praises so much is because they hooked up. I’m sure Danny can’t help wondering if where there’s smoke, there’s fire! Behind closed doors, all is not well. The fire between Julia and Danny has seemed to have cooled. I think Javier came along and provided a fun distraction. Now the strain of battling the crazy rumors about her and Javier is pushing Julia and Danny to their breaking point.”
Penelope Cruz doesn't need to drop her baby and pick up a shank to cut a ho. Julia and Javier are not fucking. Not today. Not ever. Yes, Javier is giving Julia sex eyes in the picture above, but it's not what you think. Javier isn't imagining licking on her teeth in a private room. No. Javier is wishing he had Chiclets like Julia's since his original baby teeth never fell out. Javier wishes that his laugh could spook a snake.