This Is Our Future, Part 14

It's our future and you know what, I don't even mind. 17-year-old Taylor Momsen is simply just a young girl who is trying to find herself in the clearance section of the Flirt catalog, the drawer where you keep your old black eyeliner pencils and the part of the WWE's costume closet that houses the old bedazzled wrestling panties from their glory days.

Don't you remember when you were a 17-year-old hunchback gutter Muppet and walking down a random alley while motioning to a dude that backdoor costs extra (or maybe you were motioning that you keep the 8-balls in your backdoor). This was all of us! Just think of Taylor Momsen as a Ghost of Whoredays Past who's simply a version of your 17-year-old self but with even less dignity and more attention whoreness.

Cindy Hooha wore this elegant ho shit uniform to the Hollywood premiere of Justin Bieber's new 3D movie last night. Yes, so that magical tingle you heard wasn't the wind chime outside. It was Justin Bieber's balls dropping as he laid eyes on Taylor Momsen looking like something that blew out of the Rock of Love Bus exhaust pipe.

And it's funny that Miley Cyrus was also there and completely covered everything up. Miley gave us "middle-aged spiritual healer from Sedona, Arizona." However, Noah Cyrus showed up in the same outfit as Taylor and had to go into the bathroom to change. Crisis averted.

Here's another picture of Taylor's walk of no shame as well as pictures of other hos at last night's thing. In order: Sad Panda, Amanda Woodward, Miley with Tish and Noah, The Smiths, Bieber, Scary Spice with family, Usher with his sons, Toni Braxton, Leona Lewis and Selena Gomez.

Fame, Splash, Wenn.com

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by bookworm on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 6:55am.

Dumb, vacant, desperate little bitch! You are NOT cutting edge or shocking or cool. You are a pathetic tween trying to be all hip and controversial. Guess what raccoon-eyes/mixed with Olsen twins/mixed with Madonna-wannabe - it has all been done before. By people that are actually creative, talented and interesting.

Submitted by fruitloop on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 5:56am.

Miley Cyrus' sister looks like Stewie Griffin...with hair obviously.

Leona: Terrible outfit! What happened to doing Britain proud??

Mel B: That hair colour does NOT suit her. Go back to black! Her youngest is very cute but her eldest is goiung through puberty so I'll cut her some slack.

Usher & children: Utterly gorgeous, bless 'em. :)

The Smiths: They're getting on my last nerve now- too many cheesy grins going on (and the boy with the smug look permanently fixed to his face). Please stop.

Submitted by slowlygoindown on Thu, 02/10/2011 - 2:11am.

Pert near nekkid and still not sexy. Why bother?!

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 11:50pm.

Submitted by vidz on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:45pm.

Dude, is that an avy from THE CRAFT that I'm looking at? I knew I liked you for a reason!

"HE'S SORRY!" *goes crazy*

†

"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)

†

FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 11:47pm.

It's news to me that cutting edge artistes go to Justin Boober's movie premiere. She's so GaWtHiK and hardcore.

†

"Look inside the executioner's hood,
I will show you his grimace!"
-Darzamat (Blackward)

†

FIX TOPINWEB.COM, NOW!

Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 10:32pm.

bitch mile-ho got cokebloat

Submitted by Falmouth on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 10:09pm.

Sanchito would hit that: "She was in the club--she must be 18!"

Tu peux partir

Submitted by LisaRose on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 6:44pm.

God gave Selena EVERYTHING now didn't he??!!??!! :)

________________
I Love You More
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Submitted by MaxThrax on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 6:24pm.

Desperation time. She's off Gossip Girl, her music career isn't getting much traction...reduced to attending this POS movie premiere to get noticed. Wasn't she trying super hard to prove to everyone that she's a real rocker and not like Miley Cyrus and how she looks to the likes of Kurt Cobain for inspiration? So what does going to a Justin Bieber movie premiere do for your razor thin street cred TayTay?

Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 5:06pm.

I love her. She was there promoting her record. Where are you going to get more publicity than the Justin Beiber premiere?

http://soundcloud.com/burning_plastic
http://twitter.com/#!/burning_plastic

Submitted by Hotmami on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 5:01pm.

Selena G is adorable.

Leona Lewis is a cunt bitch...she dumped her LONG time electrician bf after her first album came out, thinking she was going to be the next big thing. He's laughing his ass off at her washed-up, duckface making ass.

ETA: LL has plastic surgery face. Bleh.

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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"

-Me, according to Jack

Submitted by Stan Dup on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 4:54pm.

She's just playing dress up like a hooker...it really doesn't make her a bad person.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Insecure bastards drive SUV's:
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread313152/pg1

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 4:24pm.

Scarey's step-daughter is adorable.

Submitted by Wonder Woman on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 4:06pm.

Submitted by lilcarri on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 4:40pm.
Miley is chubby in the face. Perhaps preggers?
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Nah..i think she has been hitting the alcohol and getting the "munchies" ALOT!!!!

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"low self esteem is a bitch"...

Submitted by dlisted_bitch on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 4:44pm.

OK that picture of Usher with his sons just made me smile. The 3 of them are so adorable! And Selena Gomez--MAN--does she look amazing!

Submitted by Who Datt on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 4:01pm.

She is too stupid to see the juxtaposition of a "hard-core edgy rebel" attending the premiere of a Justin Bieber movie in an outfit that Tim Curry hit out of the park twenty years before she was born. In other words, she is a purely corporate creation who is part of the machine she is raging against.

Submitted by Poopele on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:39pm.

oK. sEleNA gOmeZ is rocking.

Submitted by sunny on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:16pm.

Michael:

I'M BEGGING YOU...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WRITE A BOOK ABOUT THESE CELEBRITIES...

ANY KIND OF BOOK:
a coffee table book, a novel, a bathroom humor book, anything...juat write it so that all of your amazing wit can get captured for posterity

Thank you!!

Submitted by zomay on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:09pm.

And the #1 reason teens should not live like WW2 sailors on shore leave in the Philippines: you start looking older than Blanche Devereaux on a bad day.

Submitted by lilcarri on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:10pm.

Miley is chubby in the face. Perhaps preggers?

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:05pm.

I thought Cyrus The Elder was bad enough, but that genetic mutation she calls a "little sister" is even uglier than pre-op Ashlee Simpson. I'm pretty sure I can hear her future plastic surgeon paying cash for his next vacation home.

Oh, and fuck you, Smiths.

_________________________
"Oh, no, brotha, ah can't dance wit chu!"

Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 3:02pm.

Put some clothes on already! Those Cyrus girls are just plain FUG!

Submitted by MaryJaneRottencrotch on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:57pm.

I love Usher's little one..looks like he's thinking Damn, what's that ugly bitch wearin'?

Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:34pm.

Ahhhaha... oh my god. "hunchback gutter Muppet" and "Cindy Hooha" have me crying laughing over here.

Submitted by NYone on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:20pm.

this bitch is just a hot mess.. is she wearing flesh colored stockings under her black ones? ahahahahahaha

Submitted by vidz on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:15pm.

MAKES.ME.STABBY.

Is that Leona Lewis? I see she finally got her nose done.

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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:12pm.

I figured Leona Lewis was too boring to click on her thumbnail but lo and behold I see her lips shirt. HA HA HA!! That's some dumb ass looking shit! You sure this isn't a bloopers montage? :D

Submitted by Bella on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:53pm.

Scary's youngest is adorable!

Submitted by the_shari-est on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:37pm.

I don't know where the movie premier was, but there used to be (??) a great goth club about a block away from Grauman's Chinese theater.

She'd actually look totally normal standing in line for the club...not so much this crap movie (that I never heard of until today).

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"Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me"

Submitted by vanitysmurf on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:28pm.

Submitted by NoMoreMangoForYou on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:53pm.
Why does Miley have a dead possum scull around her neck? I know she's hillbilly trash, but come on. That's just too much.

That's what I want to know!! Why on earth is Miley wearing a creepy skull as a necklace?

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:23pm.

Submitted by agirl on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:39pm.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:37pm.
Sad Panda musta been the after party entertainment, if I ain't being too subtle.

For real, her attitude is so stank that nobody wants to hire her. There's no place to go except expensive hooker. Charlie Sheen, I got another one for you! And this one only looks mildly retarded as opposed to the profoundly retarded one you banged a couple of weeks ago.

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Expensive? LOLOLOLOL That's an insult to...expensive hookers and their customers!
________________________________________________________

Hey, if Charlie paid the toxic waste dump elf 5g's, well...

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:20pm.

I would say that several Hollywood stylists need to be choked out for dressing their clients like this, but clearly this is revenge and they all had a good chuckle.

*golf claps*

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON

Submitted by agirl on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:09pm.

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:37pm.
Sad Panda musta been the after party entertainment, if I ain't being too subtle.

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Expensive? LOLOLOLOL That's an insult to...expensive hookers and their customers!

Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:07pm.

Sad Panda musta been the after party entertainment, if I ain't being too subtle.

Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON

Submitted by TracyLynn on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:07pm.

Hunchback gutter muppet. LMAO That was the best line of the day! Why this attention whore persists on trying to be Marilyn Manson I haven't a clue...

Submitted by Junebuggy on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:05pm.

Okay, let's break this down a little...

Taylor: WTF?? WHERE IS THIS CHILE'S PARENTS?!?!?!?!

Cyrus Clan: Can we please just put them and the Kardashians "aboard a tiny ship... for a 3 hour tour, a 3 hour tour"??

Smiths: Done with these folks. Really. Okay, we get it, you are all perfect and pretty and rich. Good for you. Now go away.

Scary Spice siblings: Let's play "which one in that picture does not belong?"

Usher and sons: Swoon. Hot dad. Adorable kids.

Toni: Why is she still relevant? Wasn't her last album in 1981??

Leona Lewis: This is a kids movie - not the opening of a new Skank-and-Hoe Clothing store! (and why is she wearing Janice's lips on her chest???)

Selena: Can't hate. She's gorgeous and classy. But dating Bieber?!?! Why Selena?? Whyyyy??

Alright, I'm done. Going back to watching the 'video the meat industry doesn't want you to see'

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Chickenfoot, come back! You're not a freak!
You're just stupid!
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Submitted by gines on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:05pm.

This bitch. I swear. Taylor Momsen needs to crawl back to the nearest gutter and stop fugging up my computer screen.

-----

you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella

Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:04pm.

Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:20pm.

Why isn't this trick dating Marilyn Manson?
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She will be. There's no way MM doesn't have her on his list of Things To Do. He loves showing little poseur girls that hardcore is more than Agent Provocateur undies and black eyeliner.

Submitted by kanderso on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:57pm.

Why is everyone there dressed like such an asshole?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:57pm.

such a beautiful girl.
such a train wreck.
so sad.

Submitted by GrayGooseLover on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:56pm.

How the fuck did Cindy Lou Who become a Cindy Lou Ho?

Anyway my life as a 15 year old would make a better movie than beibers will, and that's not saying much.

"The legendary Antoine Dodson took to the stage looking like if Mushu from Mulan joined a TLC cover group as Chilli"-MK

Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:53pm.

so, this chick's constantly on her way to a showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"?

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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."

Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:53pm.

almost everyone pictured here is busted all in the face...
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i lift things up and put them down...

Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:51pm.

Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 1:45pm.

The fact that Bieber has a GDMF movie out about his fucking life makes me want to harm children.

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Werd. Canadian children, specifically.

♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell

Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:50pm.

Why isn't this trick dating Marilyn Manson?

Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:49pm.

Is that a giant dong in that 'Shocking Meat Video'??

No way I'm watching it to find out.

Submitted by sillykat on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:47pm.

Hot mess heaven at the Biebs premiere! I love it.

Miley Cyrus looks fug nasty. Her face looks like an uncooked donut.

Leona Lewis looks like the Smith mother, Braxton is throwing shade, Taylor Momsen looks like she just got done blowing a dude in a van before her shift at the strip club. Love love love!

Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:47pm.

just a matter of time before sad panda is calling 911 because charlie sheen locked her in the bathroom...
_____________________________________________
i lift things up and put them down...

Submitted by Wood Dragon on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:46pm.

Can some greasy Arab guy kidnap this 17 year old Dipshit and sell her into white slavery? I don't think she'd mind, I really don't.

Submitted by Suzy Farkis on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:46pm.

You'd think she'd dress like that a few times and get it out of her system. I guess she doesn't get the urge to shower and put on a floral tea dress like I would after a weekend with my ass hanging out.

I thought Leona Lewis was Amber Rose in a wig. Sad to say but AR wouldn't even wear a top like that. It's the worst.