Monday, February 14th 2011
Open Post: Hosted By Monkeys And Man Ass
And here is my NSFWish Valentine's Day gift to all of you! It's a pair of slut monkeys working together to pull down the swim trunks of an old man. Yes, I know they were only looking for a banana or guavas, but they couldn't charmed the dude first? You can't just go around pantsing hos to see what they are working with. Who do they think they are? John Travolta? (Note: John Travolta is totally going to get himself a pair of pantsing slut monkeys).
Anyway, Happy Hallmark Taking Our Money Day! May a pair of monkeys pants you on the street today. But unlike these rude bitch monkeys, I hope your monkeys do it with love and respect!
via Buzzfeed
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Happy belated V-Day MK. I love monkeys.
RAUL: Sorry I'll behave next time you visit! ahahahahahaahhahaahaha I promise!!! lmao at the video.
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 3:31pm.
sonne o
y snowpiece
and Koko
no more loans, no way, if I am unemployed the gov pays for the school provided I make under 20 k a year.
I think I will work off the books, but I am worried it might not be enough for rent and utilities and all> I want to go back to school to study art and all art schools seem only to have day classes.
I volunteer in the MET, so I am making a few connections, but a 9 to 5 job is out if laid off.
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Yep - is there low cost student housing available in the area? If not, the suggestion by Fishy to get some roommates together sounds like a good one. Check out the local social service agency programs in your area as well, a lot can offer rent assistance if you qualify. Better to check it out now and be prepared if you need it in the future. Good luck to you.
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"Everytime I lower the bar of expectations, you limbo right under it".
Snideychick sez:
V Day is also Oregon's motherfucking birthday!
Happy 152nd birthday you broke-ass home of Tonya Harding and Kacey Jordan, second highest rate of unemployment in the nation, crumbling infrastructure, re-elected a clueless governor state!
You're green, weird, and my home.
This VD 'poem' has been around forever and I love it:
Valentine's Day Poem
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it soon will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So there's the story... what else can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentine's Day!
Mani! I'm glad. If I didn't have the death flu, I'd have been there, lol.
Beaks!
For Valentine's Day, y'all....
LOL! I feel better already!!
Isn't Valentine's Day over yet? I think my itunes shuffle is messing with me by playing any song that it can to make me feel so...alone? Awww.
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Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn
For Valentine's Day, y'all....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJTfNIPGhlQ
Submitted by Hockey fan on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 9:36pm.
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I am on team dislike VD no matter what. Its like a holiday set up to make people feel bad no matter what...if you are single you are forced to either feel bad or have to declare to the world how you feel about being single (love it or hate it). When in a relationship many women (not most, not all) feel competetive with other women about who got the best dinner,flowers, jewelry, gifts and everyone walks away feeling bad. I have had the years where I didn't get anything (except from my parents), the years in high school with no boyfriend where each year it was literally a competition to see who got the best flowers/balloons etc, years being single getting drunk and feeling bitter because it was Valentine's day,being in a relationship and getting nothing, being in a relationship and getting flowers or something sent to work and then feeling bad/guilty, all the possible permutations. I definetly put more stock in having friends/loved ones/partners do something spontaneous and thoughtful. Seriously, the day Mr.K went to the store and bought me tampons (without me asking and without saying why he was going to the store) is better than some flowers,candy etc.
*I am not hating on people who enjoy VD either*
Submitted by Hotmami on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 9:40pm.
Submitted by Hockey fan on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 9:36pm.
I'm gonna say that it's worse to be with someone and feel alone. I'm alone right now, and it blows, but it's def. better than being in a shitty relationship
^^^^
I was thinking the same thing. Just wondered if there were any other jaded hos thinking the same thing.
I hate V- day. I hate the commercialism, the jacked prices, the pressure, the anger, the expectations, EVERYTHING. It eats pantsing-monkey ass.
Submitted by Hockey fan on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 9:36pm.
I'm gonna say that it's worse to be with someone and feel alone. I'm alone right now, and it blows, but it's def. better than being in a shitty relationship.
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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"
-Me, according to Jack
LMAO!!! Pansting slut monkeys!
Now there's a band name.And the ho didn't even put down his drink-- just pulled em back up one handed. Bravo, my friend.
On the downish side (as if this post could have one)-- is it worse to be single on V-day or to be with someone and still feel alone?
Whatchu hos think?
Submitted by christine the hoff on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 3:25pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 3:23pm.
take her out for ice cream, either tonight, or make her a homemade coupon good for one trip to the ice cream shoppe.
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On first glance, I thought that said, "or make her a homemade tampon…" and thought to myself, No, go with the ice cream.
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"Oh, no, brotha, ah can't dance wit chu!"
Snideychick sez:
Happy Get Drunk and Fuck Day everyone! Pass the champagne!
WHATTUP SLORES!
HOw's everyone's VD?
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Ugh. I've been having dreams about my daughter's father lately. Like, the past few nights in a row. FML.
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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"
-Me, according to Jack
Thank you for the site!
I just remembered it on my own while vegging in front of the TV.
Happy VD slores!
first of all those are some mean ass monkeys...after they humiliated him they just sat there...animals are kewl like that! And fishyfan...I spent about three weeks of my life in a shelter...long story, I survived...unfortunately many many really really good, smart, non-addicted people these days end up in shelters...mine actually was cool...near the beach, we got fed, yes there are curfews and what not, but it was actually nice...some are real bad, but hey, you take what you can get. In major cities they have SRO's (Single Room Occupancies) that unemployment would def. cover. Nowadays unemployment is 13 months...so if times are horribly terrible you do have that. I have a wonderful friend cannot find work and is about to run out of all benefits...she left Cali for ARizona to find work and still can't find a damn thing...this is why my heart beats for working people and shits on the rich, nasty, undeserving bitch ass celebutards...I being of the working class variety...
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 5:49pm.
OH MY GOD!! Trying to get all the info for the police report for the acct theft here and HOLY SHIT!
Whoever the bitch is that stole our information racked up $22, 000.00 dollars worth of shit!
ALL IN ONE DAY!
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In a matter of minutes a guy took off with over 20K in cash at a nearby restaurant I rent. He took the entire safe with him. The cops suspected it was an inside job, but nothing came out of it. Next day, an employee had a new car and was planning on a vacation with his GF...he never came back.
I actually liked him and bitched with him about shit, but it sucks that he'd fucking rob his employers.
If my German Shepard was still around, he'd be dead.
Submitted by yepyepyep on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 2:38pm.
I m conflicted and not sure if to bring it here.
I am most likely getting laid off on June. I am worried about money. I am worried about living somewhere.
my questions are as follow:
are shelters really that bad?
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Sorry girl. ): That's hard. ARe you joking about the shelters? Can you start looking for another job right now and maybe roomates?
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
OH MY GOD!! Trying to get all the info for the police report for the acct theft here and HOLY SHIT!
Whoever the bitch is that stole our information racked up $22, 000.00 dollars worth of shit!
ALL IN ONE DAY!
Happy Valentine's Day.
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"JUST PUT IT IN GODDAMMIT!!!"
-Me, according to Jack
Happy Hallmark Taking Our Money Day! LMAO MK!! Happy Valentine's day. It's a corny day but I'm looking forward to pink champagne and chocolate fondue for dinner with my bf. He sent me a (cheap ass) bouquet at work and it serve it's purpose of making bitches jealous. d:
QBK, I'm sorry. I noticed your stories and you seem so sad.
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
QBK (((HUGS)))
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
I hate being married.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Oh Right, it's Valentines day...no wonder all these fucked up avis.
Jill, the making fun site is regretsy.com
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Oh and fuckay vous. - Ophelias evil twin
koko i know they are in on it. Thats what makes it so easy when you see them out anyway :) Im going to be at the bar at pershing square by grand central. Wish me luck
Submitted by babyruthnotdookie on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 4:32pm.
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Alot of chicks are in on this 'secret' that dudes think they will easily get laid by just showing up at a bar on valentine's day...I suppose there always will be the girls crying in the corner because they didn't get the dozen red roses from Walgreen's from a secret admirer though.
Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 4:40pm.
Etsy.com
~*~Hello, my baby! Hello, my honey! Hello, my ragtime gal....~*~
snowpiece i will help them get filled :)
Submitted by guest on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 4:39pm.
M.E....I miss ur evil queen avie! Happy Valentines Day everyone. :)
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She'll be back tomorrow.
Dumb question but I need your help.
I remember MK posting a site where they make fun of another site which features handmade items.
I think you can bid on the items.
I thought I bookmarked it but I didn't.
It sounds something like gutsy or something.
Thanks.
M.E....I miss ur evil queen avie! Happy Valentines Day everyone. :)
"not so fast tom ryan..."
babyruth: LOL I have an office full of unfufilled bitches over here, have your pick!
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
"WE ATE POSICLES BITCH LAY OFF!!" Jacko
cute monkeys. I'd adopt one if I could.
Just got in, now I'm gonna go down the thread. I'm feeling particularly talkative today.
@yep
That's good that the gov will pay if your income is low (did not know that or forgot) but I understand the worry about paying rent, etc. It's good you have contacts and it may sound sappy, but the universe/life has a way of working out for the best, especially since you're putting forth an effort, like staying at a job you don't like and thinking things through. If it's what you're meant to do, things will fall into place, somehow, some way. :D Yes, I'm sappy today. ;)
snowpiece as long as they are not clingy and easy i am in
LMAO at babyruth!!
QBK - KINKAAAAY!!!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
snowpiece
Hook a brother up :) I will give you a finders fee
I read somewhere that if anybody is doing some baby making activities today there's a good chance that baby will be born on 11/11/11...cool.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 4:12pm.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 3:54pm.
Now I am drinking Newcastle and watching Chelsea v Fulham,
This is my old man's idea of a good Valentine's Day.
FUCK CHELSEA! Go Reds!!
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LOL fuck Chelsea indeed. I am ABC - anyone but Chelsea.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 4:14pm.
Has Vigilante Citizen posted anything about gaga's horns yet?
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OMG - I've been waiting for the whole Grammy breakdown!!
babyruthnotdookie I'll give you their numbers!!!! LOL
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"I truly believe that I was born to be a dumb grouchy stoner slut, and I am slowly becoming a bigger one each and every day, so thank you."MK
"WE ATE POSICLES BITCH LAY OFF!!" Jacko
Has Vigilante Citizen posted anything about gaga's horns yet?
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Happy Valentines Day to everyone who doesn't think it's just another Madison Ave attempt to make people spend money they don't have.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 3:54pm.
Now I am drinking Newcastle and watching Chelsea v Fulham,
This is my old man's idea of a good Valentine's Day.
FUCK CHELSEA! Go Reds!!!
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"Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack." - MK
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by babyruthnotdookie on Mon, 02/14/2011 - 4:00pm.
Im gonna go find myself some whorage in midtown in about 1 hour. Valentines day is a great day for single men. Even though its Monday should be able to find a couple of desperate chicks who need some company
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That was unbelievably romantic. Do you write for Hallmark?