The Secret To Aretha Franklin's Weight Loss
When a vision in ethereal pink magically appeared on the Grammys Sunday night, it took me a few blinks to realize it was actually Aretha Franklin and not a hologram visiting us from her Freeway of Love days. Aretha is now as skinny as one of her old chichi nipples. Aretha continues to deny the pancreatic cancer rumors and tells the Associated Press that the chunk melted off her body the old fashioned way: from diet and exercise. Aretha is no longer catching pigs and chewing their feet off with her bare teeth. Aretha is now getting all her nourishment from Whole Foods.
Wilbur, Tiny and Babe can crawl out of their hiding places, because Aretha says that she has sworn off chitterlings, pig's feet and ham hocks. Aretha puts it like this: "They're off my diet. They just really don't fit with Whole Foods. I had it for enough years that I don't miss it. You can't continue to eat things that are not good for you. When you come off (a high-energy concert), a carrot or some celery just isn't going to work. "I've gotta do a fresh fruit thing ... and come up with some tasty and satisfying recipes that are going to work for me after concerts."
Aretha will triumphantly return to her throne on the stage this May at a concert in Buffalo, NY.
I see you thinking you're a member of the Bionic Six by using your x-ray eyes to look at the girdle band around Aretha's stomach organ. It's not there! If Aretha says she lost an Olsen from nibbling on organic grains and celery leaves, then I believe her (or do I?)! And I'm happier than John Travolta with a hairy ass in front of him that Aretha has her health back, but is she really off ham hocks for good good?! Damn. I guess we'll have to abort our plan of pushing Kim Kardashian in front of Aretha.
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There may be noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made sure good points in options also.
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 02/17/2011 - 7:28am.
Somewhat Bitter:
What alternative universe do you live in where Halle Berry is not considered black?
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WTF: She is mixed race, obviously. Therefore NOT BLACK.
If a cocker spaniel and a shitzu fuck and create offspring you do not call their children a cocker spaniel. Same fucking thing for black and white people that fuck and breed, Their offspring are not "Black" just because one of their kids claim to be. I could call myself Klingon, but that doesn't mean it is true.
Bwahhhahhha! THE PIGS ARE SAFE FOR NOW...unless they cross paths with Jessica Simpson
Aretha rocks! I hope she is okay.
Submitted by Jeepster on Thu, 02/17/2011 - 9:59am.
and for the posters who call her a fat pig who can't sing - send me a tape of YOU hitting those notes, and your swimsuit cover on Sports Illustrated - then I'm on your side.
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Amen to that. And I'll add that I sincerely doubt that Caca, Rihanna, or anyone else passing themselves off as a singer these days could manage opera, like Aretha did on the Grammy's a few years back:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DwZ-GMHyho&feature=related
Bless her and wish her good health.
And now my WTF question - What did they do with the rest of her neck jowls? Just a coupla days prior to this, she was on the local news when she attended a Detroit Pistons game - MAJOR loose skin and jowls - just what you'd expect after rapid weight loss. Where'd it go?
I believe Aretha when she says no-no to the rumor of pancreatic cancer. This situation screams lap band surgery or gastric bypass.
She screams and wails. I don't call that singing lmao.
Meh...she got a lap band. Ain't no way she managed to get that much weight off that fast with just diet and exercise.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
We need Detective LaToya on this case!
fingers crossed for the star jones version of gastric by-pass. :)
"not so fast tom ryan..."
Didn't her family confirm that she had cancer (just never said what kind)? You can't possibly have weight loss surgery with cancer, can you? Aretha has the look of someone very sick with cancer and suffering from the effects of aggressive treatment. I can't be happy about that unless I know that she is now cancer free, which I seriously doubt. I agree that the Queen has the right to privacy, but I call BS on her interview.
Miss Aretha is exiting the stage - but I give her credit for not whining - and it's her business HOW she wants to be seen as she is dying.
and for the posters who call her a fat pig who can't sing - send me a tape of YOU hitting those notes, and your swimsuit cover on Sports Illustrated - then I'm on your side.
"vaya con huevos mi amigos"
Well, however this happened, I'm happy for her. :)
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"Two whores don't make a right"-- M.K.
"Any guy who values stick thin and young over smarts and personality isn't worth it and has NOTHING interesting to say anyway."-- Mrs. Kravitz
I dont believe her at all....she definitely has some type of Cancer but I dont blame her for not wanting to shout about having Cancer no one wants to say that, but I truly do NOT believe she lost all that weight by diet and exercise. NO WAY DIVA, NO WAY!!
I can't say as I blame her for not wanting to shout it from the rooftops. I mean, look at Carnie Wilson who made a big deal about it and then gained a bunch of it back, oops.
Bitch please.
She just needs to admit to getting her stomach stapled or lap band or whatever other shit.
I don't know why bitches always try to lie about that shit when it's obvious.
Miss Aretha really needs to stop. She knows good and well she had some sort of lap band surgery and is NOW eating healthy. Supposedly there is a rumor in the entertainment community in Detroit, that she not only had weight loss surgery, but a face lift and a slight nose job too. I don't care what she had done, but don't try to "Star Jones" us Aretha, we're not idiots.
"No One Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood!"
If she's able to perform in May then I'll say MAYBE to the whole diet thing. I can just see a big POSPONED on the marquee with this one.
Whatever it is, I wish her well, because she is made of awesome.
My mother had a (thankfully benign) tumor on her pancreas and she was incredibly ill and wasted away to a scrawny little wisp before they found it. She is short and pretty muscular and some years she was kinda fattish, but it was shocking to see how much weight she had lost due to it.
She's much better, thanks, still trying to gain some weigh tback.
She looks like one of those 60s crocheted toilet paper topper dolls.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
I'm thinking she had gastric bypass surgery and that's why she was in the hospital.
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Somewhat Bitter:
What alternative universe do you live in where Halle Berry is not considered black?
And since Aretha has always been a relatively private person of course she is not going to reveal what ails her, whatever it may be.
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Unless her dumptruck of KFC got caught in a storm, bitch totally has cancer.
When she does finally die, it is going to be awful with every single black person and people who think they're black (Hale Berry, Eminem) doing awful tributes to this pig for weeks on end.
If she wants to lie about it thats her choice, maybe shes not. R E S P E C T. Best wishes to her.
if she does have cancer, it's her right not to talk about it look how the paps followed michael douglas around when he wasn't looking his best and the mags declaring his impending death. and now when i hear pancreatic cancer, i think of patrick swayze. maybe she doesn't want that.
or maybe she just exercised and changed her diet.
<"Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Thu, 02/17/2011 - 5:27am.
Please post recent nude photos of Aretha, for the pleasure of your Lesbyterian readers.">
Ah, so unselfish. LMAO on the way out the door. (Thanks).
Ps That is a very very very very very bad wig. Chemo fo sho.
Please post recent nude photos of Aretha, for the pleasure of your Lesbyterian readers.
Saw this same look when my ex's granny was diagnosed with colon cancer. She was a big gal too, and lost weight very fast due to chemo and the illness. As soon as I saw Aretha's face I knew what was going on. Very sad.
******Come on in, motherfucker! Come on in!******
She's looking a lot better only a few months later. Methinks that she's doing a little bit more than simply eating dull food.
Then again, a lot of "healthy" people are so neurotic about their diet they're borderline anorexic anyway. If all you're eating is a tiny piece of grilled chicken and three pieces of brocoli, you still aren't eating that much.
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"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Haha! So many theories.
The first thing I thought was that she had lost the weight and when she got "sick" they were removing the extra skin.
♥ Threadkilla!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.~Bertrand Russell
I'm not buying the high-fruit diet. She's diabetic. She's had gastric bypass to get her weight and the diabetes under control stat. All the bilge about diet an exercise is just that: bilge.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein.
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She's a mammoth fat slob. Big as an ocean liner before, sperm whale now. Eat w/e you want old bitch. You're ugly anyway and ya can't sing.
lie to me
i promise i'll believe
lie to me
but please, don't leave...
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"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8
Gastric bypass patients can't eat a ton of fruits. Their systems can't handle too much sugar hitting their system at one time and it's hard to regulate it after surgery due to the intestines being shortened. There is less area for the sugar to be absorbed so the patients can have bad reactions to having too much in their system much like a diabetic would. If they are shoving tons of fruit down her gullet, it's not bypass. Bypass diets are high in protein. I don't think it's bypass anyway. She's losing it like a cancer patient, not a bypass patient.
Like one of the other posters said, it seems a bit odd (very nice but come on) that this year of all years that they decide to do a tribute to her after all her health problems. :side eye:
No way did she exercise that weight off. Can you imagine her on Biggest Loser? Bitch please. Divas don't work out. The Queen of Soul doesn't run. Why? Cause she's Aretha Fuckin' Franklin.
eta: Another clue that it's not bypass is that she is not all decked out in a hot outfit showing off her figure. The dress is really ill fitting. She's swimming in that sucker. She's never been shy of a tight dress so if it was bypass, she would be showing it off.
If this is a panreatic situation, I wish her hope, peace and to be well. Regardless, to the assholes who wrote clever, obnoxious shithead remarks about her breasts (as they relate to her level of talent), die a horrible death. She will forgive you, even then.
Her cheekbones are becoming prominent. I don't think Gastric bypass/lapband would do that to someone. But cancer usually does. :(
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Is she for fucking real??!
Her cancer must have spread to her brain. So sad.
Or you could lose weight by having half your stomach removed because of cancer...
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I'M DONESVILLE!
Nourish the Inner Asshole
Borrachas of the world unite and take over!
"Well, this is extremely depressing, because I love Aretha too, but the Whole Foods maneuver is the last refuge of the "I'm gonna beat this thing!" cancer patient. Andrew Weil, wheatgrass enemas, Enya tapes, shark cartilage books--I've seen this too many times, and the ending is always the same."
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I agree. That weight loss isn't the result of bypass surgery. IMO, it's from "chemo." I wish I knew when her last public appearance occurred, or the most recent photograph was taken prior to the announcement she was ill and in the hospital. Maybe she began losing weight due to illness.
The dress is way too large,hanging off her. She looks like she was 'propped up.' She's wearing a lot of stage make up, as if sitting for a formal portrait. Hate to say it, but she looks like someone getting ready to leave.
For me the tell tale sign will be if a lot of "names" start making the trek to visit her. I suspect she isn't going to be doing any traveling any time soon. Her next gig is in May? We'll see.
God bless, Aretha.
As pointed out, Aretha has already declared that she is not one to spread her health business around. If she wants to publicly owe it all to carrots and walking, that's her prerogative.
Most of the time doctors don't know what they'll find until they go in. Maybe she had gastric by-pass, maybe she didn't. Maybe she had an infectious intestinal blockage or fifty pound tumor removed. Whatever was wrong, it put her near death. (Not to mention the added stress of dealing with her son's recent shooting.)
Aretha is nearing 70 and sounds determined to stick around for as long as she can so she can get back to singing. What's the chance of this happening for Lady Gaga or Rhianna in 50 years, or even five years, for that matter?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T or respectfully be quiet.
Ehhhh... She's probably not being dishonest about the diet change, AND I believe it's true that a serious fatty is going to lose weight faster than a moderate fatty if they cut back on their diet, but... she lost weight pretty quickly. So she's either seriously sick, a follower of the lapband/stomach staple diet, or both.
And why is she suddenly shading the sides of her nose? It's just making her weight-loss face look even weirder.
Wish her well
Aretha, hang in there.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
About a month ago, she said:
“I am not one to do a lot of talking about my personal health or business. Not too much, not too much. There are a lot of people who will talk about anything, as long as there is somebody listening. But I am not one of those people. That’s not Aretha." http://www.dlisted.com/node/40308
If she says it's all diet and exercise, that's what I'm gonna believe. Some of those Biggest Loser people lose double digits every week, so maybe Aretha hired that megabitch Jillian? But holy damn, for a 68-year-old woman who has lost a TON of weight, she has some awesome elasticity in the skin of her chin and neck area.
You can't eat high fat foods with pancreatic cancer either. Just sayin'.
Wishing nothing but good health and lots of love for the Queen of Soul.
Til you come back to me, that's what I'm gonna do.
*coughs*BULLSHIT*coughs
she has star jones syndrome!!!!!!!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Unbelievable some think this is a lap-band-bariatric surgery controversy. A certain few in the music industry probably know the story, and had the (nice) idea to open the Grammys with a tribute to her life. This year, all of a sudden. Add 2 + 2.