There was a rumor going around that SamRo and LiLo spent Valentine's Day together and might be bumping baginas again, but I took that with a grain of kitty litter masquerading as dirty coke. Lindsay Lohan will forever be the Alicia Silverstone to SamRo's Cary Elwes. SamRo will always find LiLo hiding out in her dirty laundry basket, sniffing her dildos for foreign pussy dust and trying to empty a wasps' nest into the vents when her new fuck partner is in the darkroom. It's just the way it is, but I didn't think SamRo would want to bring the crazy back into her life. But I guess she does.
TMZ posted a picture of SamRo and LiLo leaving a club early this morning while looking like they just snorting human brains. ZOMBIE HELL. And a few hours later, SamRo Tweeted the above Tweet. LiLo is a crazy bitch who stalked SamRo, broke out one of her windows, caused her family members to reach for a restraining order and she's still lounging to next to that inside/out Butterfinger? They must see episodes of The L-Word with flashes of the Northern Lights when they do it, because they are willing to go crazy for each other.
I'm sorry, but no pussy (or dick) is worth getting the words "nervous breakdown due to good pussy" scrawled on your mental health file. I think.
And while her little girl was passed out next to the Caucasian Skeletor, White Oprah was on Good Morning America for I don't even know. I guess when she made her pact with the devil, she agreed to terrorize the public with her face and delusions as much as possible. Here's White Oprah saying more of the same.
In case you don't want to watch the clip above because The Grudge has made you superstitious of dark-sided videos, here's a few things White Oprah covered:
On LiLo's advice to Charlie Sheen: "Just....get help."
On how she's morally correct: "My parents taught me well, just to live morally correct and be a good person. She's in Hollywood, she's under a microscope so it's a lot more difficult."
On how the media keeps trying to drag her family down: "God willing she won't go back to jail. It's not a happy moment for us. I really can't talk about the case, it's pending. We have great attorneys and the media makes it a lot worse than it really is. We stick to the facts. The media has gotten nothing wrong, it's just what you do."
On how George Stephanopoulos and the rest of the media keeps asking the wrong questions: "You're not focusing on her sobriety or how well she's doing. Nobody talks about the positive. Everyone just wants to knock you down."
On if LiLo's managers and agents are part of the problem: "We're working with her team. They're great people now. They are media experts. Lindsay is just a little girl who loves to work. I could care less if she does another movie. But you have to surround yourself with people who get the business."
On the mistakes she's made as a mother: "I'm learning as I go as well... You don't get a parent handbook. I'm a single mother of four kids and we're very close. It's been difficult and I can't say I have any answers but all we can do is love our kids and be there for them. And catch them when we fall. And instill what I've learned from my parents who have been married for 50 years."
On what LiLo wants: "Lindsay just wants everyone to leave us alone and let her live her life. Let her grow up. She's 24, and that's not young, she's a young woman. I just think...to just breathe."
When George ended the interview, White Oprah actually said something intelligent: "I have no idea what I just said."