The Empress Of Lucite Has A New Toy (I Think)
The goddess who was created when Zeus threw a bolt of lucite at a mermaid rolling around the sand once again reigned over Miami beach today and blessed the beach with the sparks shooting off her exquisite lucite heels. Shauna Sand had a new Euro twink at her side one pap said it's her ex-boy-in-waiting Greg Knudson (but that thin stick of lean beef is definitely - NSFW alert - not this) and a different pap said it's her new fiance Laurent. Even though I'm a member of the Church of Lucite, I can never keep track of who is feeding frozen grapes to Shauna's nipples and spit shining the bottoms of her lucite heels.
The only thing I do know is that she always manages to find a piece that looks like a former member of a failed Euro boy band who now trolls upscale Palm Springs bath houses for old rich men to keep his fancy mullet fresh and his collection of designer sunglasses from outlet malls up to date. That young twink stallion looks like he's got Bel Ami tattooed in his ass crack and always keeps a traveler size bottle of passion fruit scented lube in his pocket. And I love that his beach pants say "lifeguard" when the only thing he'll dive into the ocean to save is a tub of body wax and a jar of pomade. The Empress always picks well.
• 
I feel bad for her. Being an aging porn star must be horrifying. Where can she go from here?
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Reminds me of Joan Rivers's 1980's joke about Cher: "She likes her men so young that she must cruise Toys R' Us for dates!"
Seriously, this one is embryonic and her desperation is worse than I had imagined. I hope these staged, slut-tastic photoshoots pay well. Her kids are gonna need *mad* ca$h for their ongoing therapy.
Young enough to be her son (grandson), you're probably right. She better watch out, I think the Truancy Officer for his school district is looking for him.
IMO she has a great body but her face looks like a monkey. Her BF looks young enough to be her son.
How old is her new boy toy? 14????????????
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 02/21/2011 - 10:40pm.
From the neck down and aside from the nasty boobage, she has a very good body.
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You're correct... if she were a 13 year old BOY.
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***"Charlie should host a show called "How Clean Is Your Ho?" --MK***
Submitted by joe shmoe on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 8:40am.
Shauna, here's a novel concept: make a living using your brains, instead of your tits and arse and be a role model for your girls.
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Stop, please; you're asking waaaaay too much.
I would hit the SHIT outta that...
*adjusts body condom*
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
I'm sorry but this vulgar piggish vile excuse for a woman is old enough to be her new piece's mother. I'll just bet this orange leather upholstered bag of bones is rockin' a full whorish face of warpaint to hit the beach.
LOVE the "come hither" peek over the shoulder too. She must get a lot of Fernando Lamas's and Esther Williams's money to hire arm candy and photographers to follow her non-existent ass around everywhere.
I hope Lorenzo is at the very least a responsible dad because all this disease-ridden bottom feeding ho can teach those poor daughters to do is suck dick and work a stripper pole in tacky ass Lucite shoes. Those girls are going to have some SERIOUS issues when they're older.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
What is up with her stomach in thumbnail #4? I've never seen anything like that before.
Does she own any other shoes except for cheapass tittie dancer platforms?
Hmmm..*package alert* in thumb #10.
Other than that, I have nuttin'.
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Looks don't concern me, Maestro. Only talent interests a woman of taste.
Submitted by Kandykane on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 8:51am.
...
that guy is hot. wtf is he doing with that???
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Paying the rent, apparently.
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UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!
-Tourette's Guy
Help Save 26+ Docile Bears Found on B.C. GrowOp
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Help-Save-the-BC-Black-Bears/142183119155489
My what "candid" shots!
Nothing says "I love you" like masturbating your flabby-assed bag-of-bones memaw at a public beach
(vajayjay massage pic 3 - *where* are those *fingers*?! retch!)
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UPDATE! No-one gives a shit!
-Tourette's Guy
Help Save 26+ Docile Bears Found on B.C. GrowOp
http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Help-Save-the-BC-Black-Bears/142183119155489
My god, she is hideous. He looks early 20's trying to fill up his fuck-card with a cougar so he can brag to his friends. She's the 45 yr-old has-been willing to do it, trying to be 25 again. puke.
how come her tits are so saggy? I thought she had implants. and I am LOL at her latest "conquest" --Poor delusional ho...only MK cares about reporting on this trick. She should at least give a shout out to him or send him a signed lucite heel for giving her some press.
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"I will have to meet men lying down" - Blanche Devereaux
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
John Meyer wishes he was this guy.
She's making a man with blonde hair and a tan....
I see you shiver with
anti ci
pa tion!
I don't know where the Empress gets them (and by them I mean the twinks, not the precious lucite heels. We know those are given to her by God Almighty) but they _always_ look the same. Is there an Eurodouche franchise near her house or something?
She will turn 40 in September. Ha-ha.
Um okay I'm not going to comment on the obvious...
"lucite heels in the sand" (hey that could be the title of a big hit song for Shauna..kinda like Red Sails In The Sunset was for Nat King Cole)
Bad hair weave, Barbie bag....all been pointed out before
But Hey Shauna.....Your boobies are R E A L L Y starting to sag there, Hun....
You might want to get that checked out......I mean I know you are the actual size of a Barbie doll sold at Toys R Us or Target, and I know your hair is exactly like a Barbies hair after a 5 year old little girl styled it using a cup of her mom's Dippity Do hair gel......but remember to really pull off the Barbie look, you can't have boobs that sag down to your tummy or flop off behind your back when you lay down.
His nipples are a lot perkier than hers. I thought saggy breasts are considered unappealing ... ?
ITA about paying the kid. He looks like a young twenty something, kid, like he could be her son. Reminds me of the photos of Stephanie Seymore and her son petting on the beach earlier this year. UGH, Shauna. But I do love the lucite on the sand. Bravo, that must be why your calves look toned.
these exquisite photos should be placed in a museum of Great Historic Love Stories.
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I mean, we should ALL look like Richard Simmons at least one time in our lives-MK
She also looks like the type that jumps on every douche trend including the ankle tattoo, belly ring, belly tattoo, inflated lips, bleached out dead dry hair, etc... She probably has closet full of Ed Hardy.
Speaking of walkers, did anyone see the movie, "The Walker" starring Woody Harrelson? Caught it on cable last year and thought it was pretty darn good.
If it weren't for those mellons, her body would be sad. Her ass is lifeless. No thank you...
jt
wtf, despite those gross boobs, she's got the bony ass and hipless body of a little boy - not attractive. and really where the hell does she get the money to live such a bon vivant life from?? I'm sure daddy left Lorenzo pretty comfy, but how this 'ho keeps recruiting these Eurotrash "model" boys is beyond me.
short.skinny.delusional.skank.with fingerprint bruises on her ass cheeks and thighs.and a wrinkly mid section.
that guy is hot. wtf is he doing with that???
Shauna, here's a novel concept: make a living using your brains, instead of your tits and arse and be a role model for your girls.
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Looks don't concern me, Maestro. Only talent interests a woman of taste.
Look at thumbnail #4 ! She looks like a shar-pei! What is up with all the loose skin . It looks nasty. She may be generally thin - but she obviously does NOT work out by any means. She may look good standing up - but she looks like a hot mess while lying down.
her piece looks very ghey and she is looking wretched.
WOW - tits and ass are both sagging! Gravity has taken over. lmao !
Submitted by liverwurst on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 6:23am.
What could ever happen to a person to make them turn out like this?
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I think her Daddy met her one too many times in the tool shed.
TITS I am cracking up over that link. She reminds me of my ex-mother-in-law. And you are right, she makes Shauna look sooo much better by comparison.
Her tits are pretty saggy for all the plastic she has in them.
What is she? Like 40 plus? With I think three kids? She looks pretty good to me, good enough to goo anyway.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
What in the hell is up with her stomach in thumbnail #4? It's all twisty and weird... ew... also she has duckface in the worst possible way. What's the movie with the black dude called Horsedick.mpeg that was born without genitalia... and in the tour bus scene there's this bitch next to him that has the worst silicone injections I have ever seen... like grotesque bad... that's what this bitch always makes me think of.
What could ever happen to a person to make them turn out like this?
Surely Shauna must be drawing from her Ho Pension Relief fund by now? Otherwise, how can she afford these un-fresh pieces?!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Nasty boobs....nasty concave boy ass...nasty face...just all around nasty...
That paid for twink looks barely legal...he probably doesn't have pubes yet...
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i lift things up and put them down...
What's with her and dudes with the Prince Valliant look? Does she think she's a Disney princess too? Probably. Her delusions know no bounds.
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"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
I still don't know how she wears heels on the beach. I'd fuck myself up, probably break a leg or something. You would think that after the first 30 years on earth, I would learn to be more classy *sigh*
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Because nothing says "my coochie smells like sex" like a men's white butt-down shirt over a bustier. -MK
Whenever i hear the phrase 'new toy' i can only think of the Lene Lovich 80s song.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
Well, I am glad to see that the harassment has stopped. Of course, not everyone will like you, but that's their loss.
Nice talking to you and catch you soon. Goodnight!
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Goodnight, Khensu!
I agree with everything you are saying.
The emails stopped immediately when I threatened to hire a hacker, because of course people are posting from their homes and internet harassment is now a federal crime.
People got a lot nicer to me, too, right away, after I shared the story of the email brutality, I'm assuming because the guilty ones were scared, and the innocent ones had compassion for me.
So, all is good!
I'm not saying everyone likes me, and that is fine.
After all, mediocrity breeds contempt....I'm just glad that we are good!
Have a great day tomorrow, C xo
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Submitted by Centaurious on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 2:09am.
I understand.
At first I didn't. I didn't know where all the anger was coming from. At first I thought it was just that you were mad at me or that you were facing some personal hardships (which in this case is closest to the truth).
A few of us thought that someone may have jacked your profile and it was someone else punking us because many people here really seem to be fond of you and you didn't seem to be yourself. While I felt frustrated during that period, what bothered me the most was that we've always gotten along so well.
I'm relieved that you've let your guard down some and that we're getting along great again. I know that internet harassment seems harmless, but it's more damaging than given credit and it can in fact create a lot of distress. Many people, like us, who are fully functioning members of society beyond the internet can still get hurt by what happens over the web because it could be *anyone* saying these things.
As a matter of fact, I exile to D-Listed from other sites that are just overpopulated with people who've made fun of me. This site's my escape from those people who insult me constantly.
So, I really know where you're coming from.
And disagreeing is guilty. It's interesting to read an opinion I don't necessarily agree with but to see from that person's perspective.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Nah. I think we agree on most everything, maybe not some things.
We did have a bad period, but as I mentioned I was very paranoid about everyone for a time, as I told you, I was being horribly harassed on my email by a Dlister or Dlisters, and it was just so upsetting to think it could be anyone....I was just seeing insults where there were none.
I know I come across as needy or naive sometimes, an oversharer, but I have never written anything here that has not been the truth, I only have one avie, and I was stupid to believe that some people are not just out for cruelty or "fun."
I'm a little old for the internet...I'm just me and I've since learned that many people are many "me's." Or just one "me," but a mean "me," for whatever their personal reasons are.
I am the first to admit I'm the most gullible person in the world; an easy target!
I'm tough, though. Once I recognize betrayal, I will fight. I will not surrender!
I did lose some friends, but many people have been kind to me in recent months and I believe many understand.
It's good to have some differences!
Makes for a better conversation.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
I don't know what's worse: those ridiculous shoes or her gumball ass.
Submitted by Centaurious on Tue, 02/22/2011 - 1:50am.
So, it's like a male version of a beard, technically?
And I am very flattered by your compliment. I know that we don't agree on everything, but I look forward to your posts as well. If I'm being too reserved, I don't mean to be. I'm just not very exciting.
†
"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Oh, a walker is a gay guy who is an escort for an older woman, so she doesn't have to seem so pathetically alone.
Although she would seem younger just walking to the beach by herself than being seen with this homo teenager.
Btw, you are one of the only people on Dlisted whom I wish I knew the details of who you really are....I know you won't share and I don't blame you, I have definitely learned my lessons about oversharing, but you are just so smart.
I'm not sucking up, either, I don't really do that, I am just impressed.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall