Ke$ha On Your Peen
Bristol Palin better find a new cause, because the abstinence movement has found itself a new poster girl. Or should I say, condom ho. Usually condoms and abstinence don't play together, but Ke$ha's face on a dick bag wrapper will make sperm fish drown themselves in semen and cause labia to slam shut like Kirstie Alley's mouth when vegetables are around. Ke$ha wants to make sure that the only STDs out there are the ones that come out of her mouth in the form of "musical notes." Ke$ha cares!
TMZ reports that Ke$ha and LifeStyles have joined together to make 10,000 condoms with her face on the wrappers. Ke$ha will shoot them out into the audience at her shows starting this Monday.
In all seriousness, this is good for all of us. Ke$ha's kum katching kondoms (let's call them Kum$has) will keep her fans from spawning. And those poor souls who were dragged to her show by a ho who doesn't know better can use Ke$ha's condoms to cover their ears with. A win all around! Kudo$ to Ke$ha!