Yet Another Episode Of Cokey In Court
Above is the live feed of Lindsay Lohan's latest appearance in court for you to enjoy while you stroke the necklace you stole from Claire's. LiLo was supposed to show up at 8:30PST, but she was over thirty minutes late. At least that's what the court and reporters said. But little do they know that today is Delusional Ho Savings Time, so technically LiLo is right on time! Ask the farmers and dealers if you don't believe me.
UPDATE: Judge Keith Schwartz didn't slap the smug out of LiLo's lips for being nearly 40 minutes late to her own hearing. All he did was set the preliminary hearing for April 22nd and assign the case to another judge. If LiLo doesn't accept a plea (which includes serving time in the clink) for allegedly stealing that necklace by March 25th, she must show up on April 22nd and fart out the words "guilty" or "not guilty." At that time, the judge will also decide if she violated her probation or not. Judge Keith also referred to TMZ and Radar as the CIA, because he has no idea how they keep getting information about the case. If TMZ is the CIA, then I guess that makes White Oprah a regular Valerie Fucking Plame.
Since the only thing you really care about (but not really) is what kind of ho shit uniform LiLo wore to court today, here she is celebrating International Pancake Day a day late by flashing her suffocating chichis. This is probably my favorite look yet, because she sort of resembles a condom-wrapped uncircumcised peen with a straw mop on top.
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Submitted by shakemykitty on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 7:37pm.
...Taylor should have demanded Crackie take the plea bargain so the tape would have never seen the light of day and then paid off the victims for their copy.
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I seriously doubt that a Lohan would have NOT wanted that tape to see the light of day. After all, the jewelery store didn't sell their copy until the Blohan defense had their copy; the store had to sell it while they could, before the Lohans flooded the market.
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You say "beembo," I say "BIMBO." You say "sloot," I say "slut!" You say "whore," I say "hi." - Michael K, 3/3/11
This entitled bitch needs to be treated like every other damned person on the street and her freckled fanny needs to land in jail for a good long time instead of all of this enabling crap simply because she's 'famous'.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 9:10pm.
You don't see "dangle" and "micropeen" used that often together.
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Bees hovered over the sealed jar of honey and the crumpled paper stained with molasses, their steady buzzing like the hum of a planet in motion around the sun.
@SFRB You saucy temptress, you! *mwah*
*dangles micropeen infront of sydney* ;-)
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 7:55pm
Between your avie and your rant I really have developed the biggest crush on you. :)
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
Lohan is old news, time to read reports of Miguel Cabrera's DUI. He plays for the Detroit Tigers.
Those of you who mentioned that she has a junkie's mentality are right. She is attracted to all the attention she is getting, even though it is bad attention. Gets that natural high from being in front of those cameras.
PSL & happy kitty...
now i'm even more depressive... i still don't enjoy Hohan posts(probably why i'm not on-topic in the least) ever since GrapeDrink passed....
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Rant alert* sorry
I used to teach DUI/Wet & Wreckless Classes and PC1000 classes - a drug diversion program that people could choose instead of jail. Just like the program that Lindsey so blatantly shit on, and that stupid star-struck program manager drooled all over this bag of ORANGE BANG VAGINA SQUIRT! Well there was always a group of students who hated me because I would drug test them. Those stupid fucks signed goddamn releases saying I could pop them WEEKLY if I wanted to. And the fucking judge put it in their goddamn MINUTE ORDER!
Not that I LIKED doing it, but showing up to class with the nods from shooting up, drunk (IT'S OBVIOUS when you're sauced, your breath smells LIKE A SOUR ASS), and especially TWEAKING, you won't shut the hell up, and make smacking sounds with your dry mouth - hell yes im going to test you - it's my job.
I take my safe drive home seriously and do this shit for a living - and I know your fucking jerky ass drove here, and you'll drive home too, in your beat up car with damage from the accident that brought your ignorant ass into my class in the FIRST place. Of course your car still runs, but about the people into whom you SLAMMED?
Some (not all) of these assholes who get popped are usually just so fucking moronic and in such deep denial that they make their problem every one else's problem, blame an asshole cop, or a passenger, and try to explain away why they shouldn't be in the class b/c what they did isn't THAT bad. YES YOU COUNT! YES YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY NOT TO PUT OTHERS IN DANGER AGAIN - BUT YOU WILL - OVER AND OVER.
Fuck Lindsey and any other person who tries to explain away your DUI or drug charge or any behavior stemming from your drug problem, and keeps putting people in danger by driving or parenting. You're the assholes who would intentionally leave the piss cap unscrewed and slam the fucking cup into my palm. At least self-respecting drunks and addicts ADMIT to having a problem.
I hope you have a yeast infection that splits your genital skin.
That being said, I loved teaching the class. The sober people who were honest were insightful, sweet, and a blast to joke with during the material. These guys would always talk shit to the fucks in denial, and this was great for the sweet guys.
And I taught Domestic V. classes too, AND MOST OF YOU ASSHOLES CAN GO TO HELL BEFORE THE DUI GUYS!
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
ESE, I used to email with him. he'd give updates about his health. then as Lil rascal said, he was going back into the hospital for something to do with his heart, and no one heard from him again.
:(
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My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in Man.
-Fiona Apple
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 7:44pm.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 7:36pm.
yeah, UA was cool, and always pleasant. i like to think that he just doesn't come around anymore.
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ESE, the thing is, Uncle ashtray was on FaceBook with all of us, and he was there every day, very funny and nice. Then he went to have his surgery, and he disappeared from FB!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 7:36pm.
KA, I don't know if you knew Uncle Ashtray, who was a poster here. He disappeared for a long time, and we were all joking how he ran off with a Spring Breaker.......meanwhile, he was in the hospital because he was hit by a drunk driver. He kept returning to the hospital, and now no one has heard from him in a year. we are all pretty sure he died.
So sad. he was a very, very nice man.
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PSL, agree about Uncle Ashtray, he was a really sweet man. I remember he said he was going to have surgery in a hospital, and he disappeared forever.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 7:36pm.
yeah, UA was cool, and always pleasant. i like to think that he just doesn't come around anymore.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
The great mystery in all of Crackie's endless drama is wtf is her "new management" team been and wtf are they doing to contain this mess? Lou Taylor, who was Brit's savior, hasn't been able to stike a comeback for Crackie. True, she continues to pour money into Crackie's endless pit of legal woes by paying her bail. But she didn't provide minders 24/7 to ensure her client's sobriety after leaving UCLA. While these minders would have to be huge hulking men to keep Crackie away from the good shit, it would have at least protected her investment. You can't claim your client has changed and is ready to work if she tests dirty. And now Crackie is charged with a felony. Taylor provided the bail but was unable to contain the drama. Crackie's family/enablers have been on a endless pursuit of trashing her latest victim and keeping this in the news. Daily, the public is inudated with this circus. And now the surveillance tape is public. Taylor should have demanded Crackie take the plea bargain so the tape would have never seen the light of day and then paid off the victims for their copy. Keeping this out of the headlines and having Crackie do a matter of weeks in jail would have been the only way to salvage her career. Now, for all the money Taylor has spent, she has nothing to show for it. Ironically, Brit is releasing a new album and will, undoubtably, make millions.
KA, I don't know if you knew Uncle Ashtray, who was a poster here. He disappeared for a long time, and we were all joking how he ran off with a Spring Breaker.......meanwhile, he was in the hospital because he was hit by a drunk driver. He kept returning to the hospital, and now no one has heard from him in a year. we are all pretty sure he died.
So sad. he was a very, very nice man.
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My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in Man.
-Fiona Apple
Submitted by Jana on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 1:35pm.
No your mistake was DRINKING AND DRIVING. But I guess it's okay that you didn't get in a major accident or hurt anyone, right? It's people like you that make me scared to go out in the world. I'm sober as FUCK but some asshole like you could come along, drunk driving, and fuck up my life in two seconds. Denial and justification are the hallmarks of someone who has a problem. I'd seriously think about that.
She must be *so* pissed that Sheen, Aguilera and Rolonda are currently hogging the already crowded "inebriated downward spiral" spotlight. How soon before she goes crawling to the Dr Drew show that she ridiculously thought that she was too good for?
Submitted by zachhcaz on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 1:31pm.
If I were going to a hearing regarding my alleged theft of jewelry I wouldn't . . .I dunno . . . WEAR JEWELRY TO THE HEARING.
True. 'Course, the other way to go would be to find and wear a knock-off of the same necklace, setting the groundwork to argue that she innocently thought she was only wearing her own necklace out of Kamofie.
Nice use for old vinyl car seat covers. Who knew Nana Lohan was handy with a sewing machine?
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
Why can't this retard get someone to dress and/or advise her? She's obviously not capable of making good choices. How hard is it to put together a decent look for court?
I used to hope she'd straighten out and show everyone but now I'm just waiting for her Big Finale.
the court time was changed to 9:00 so she was 2 min late, not 40.
I hate her as much as you do, but she wasn't late.
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My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in Man.
-Fiona Apple
Gross that people still call a GROWN woman a child. She is a far cry from a little girl. She may have a childish mentality but that doesn't make her a child. Shit, if that's the case then I'm going to tell everyone I'm now 16.
Goddamn, that dress is fucking HIDDY!!!!!!!
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When life gives you lemons...slice 'em up, eat 'em. - Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara
2 things:
1) Why do the courts CONTINUE to allow her to show up late without even addressing it? If I showed up late, I would be mortified & would apologize to the court, to show I'm not being disrespectful of everyone's time. But, not BLOWhan; she shows up over 40 minutes late to court, and she shrugs it off like it doesn't matter; no one says boo to her.
2) Doesn't this untalented whore own any clothes that normal people wear? Dressing like a mid shift hooker for court is an act of disrespect, like her having painted "Fuck You" on her fingernail.
Bottom line - this is a grown woman who's never been told "no" when she was growing up and is acting like a petulant spoiled child. She needs to be braced by the court, to be set straight that "being disrespectful" is unacceptable...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
The dress is really unfortunate. Someone should be in court for designing that shit.
Submitted by Anonymoussss on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 1:34pm.
Submitted by Joeb on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 1:13pm.
I think she's an extremely brave little girl who will have everybody eating their words someday soon
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For crying out loud, she's a grown woman who can't take responsibility for her life. What's with this "little girl" crap?
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Is not this White Oprah in disguise and showing her true agenda - protecting the "child"?
I wanna know where her sunglasses are from!?
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:47pm.
Jana is there anything you haven't done?
Besides Jack...
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LOL
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I will re-name jackhat, PantyClaus." 12/16/10 BRADIFUL BITCH
Submitted by Joeb on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 1:13pm.
I think she's an extremely brave little girl who will have everybody eating their words someday soon
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For crying out loud, she's a grown woman who can't take responsibility for her life. What's with this "little girl" crap?
to make it clear on my DUI, I didn't have an accident or get caught by the pigs. It was this other guy, whose car I slightly scratched while turning a corner who called them on me. They came and got me at my friends house where I was headed to. I shouldn't have left in the first place because they wouldn't have been able to get in and take me in. The lawyer got me off on the ''hit and run'' but I paid my dues for the DUI. My mistake was talking too much to the pigs and being overly cooperative at the station. Believe me, anything you say or do WILL be used against you. And all the time down at the station I thought we were being friendly. What a fucking moron I was for that.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
If I were going to a hearing regarding my alleged theft of jewelry I wouldn't . . .I dunno . . . WEAR JEWELRY TO THE HEARING. Christ on a cracker, she seriously can't slip off the accessories in the car and put them back on the ride home?
Pardon my question but is there any 3rd strike law that applies to her actually having to serve jail time? I highly doubt that if she goes to jail she spends more than 30 days due to over-crowding though.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:13pm.
Thanks M.E., you have great insight. Forgive me, I know you are a regular poster but I am uncertain if you work in the legal field? You would make a sober judge yourself.
Question - Even if Lilo gets jail time, what of this 'overcrowding' thing? I think(?) non-violent offenders are at the top of the reduced jail time list as it were, even if she got six months how much time would she actually serve?
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
What really really bothers me is her fucking smug mug.
and you know what else is missing? A Blohalina
everybody else seems to have one but Blohan.
Girl can't dress herself to save her life, but maybe she's practicing for the near future when she has to start turning tricks for Pimp WO. This outfit - the leather fetishist skank special.
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"Dreams are only a cheap marketing ploy for Disney products, which are stomped out by reality upon reaching adulthood." Jazzfish_77, 03/01/2011 - 8:29pm.
I think she's an extremely brave little girl who will have everybody eating their words someday soon.
2 DUI's, possession of cocaine TWICE, kidnapping, carjacking, high speed chase, theft, domestic violence....her wrap sheet just keeps getting longer and longer.
It may not be this time, but I have NO DOUBT that this bitch will end up in prison some day. She has a terminal case of thrill-seeking-attention-whore-druggie-itis. She might stay sober for a minute and work on a movie or two (ha!), but we all know her true nature. I hate to bring up ole Carlos Estevez again, but E! has been playing his True Hollywood Story non-stop. Even as a teen, Carlos committed credit card fraud, was caught with drugs, etc. He should have seen true consequences then...of course he didn't. He even admitted that his parents knew the judge and he received a slap on the wrist. Well, we've seen how his antics have escalated into the epic meltdown of today. Anyway, I feel like this is only the beginning for Lindsay. Being on the straight and narrow is unnatural for her, it's like her identity is wrapped up in being "bad". She can go on Extra and claim that she hates her infamy, but that's a sack of lies. She loves it...it's written all over her face. If she didn't love it, why does she deliberately wear trendy sexy shit to the GD courthouse!?!? Who is she without controversy besides a young washed-up actress?? Long story short, I hate this bitch.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:55pm.
@Jana.. what are you waiting for? everyone else has.
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I'm on it.
it's a good thing we don't take ourselves seriously all the time. That was funny.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Submitted by RustyHooligan: "...What's weird to me is she relishes her notoriety, while the rest of us would hide in shame."
Her notoriety is all she has left.
That, and she can still peddle her ass as a private outcall gal. Plenty of guys would pay top dollar to stick the tip in.
WTF is wrong with that judge? Does he have nothing better to do than sit there with his dick in his hand, waiting for LiLo to slouch in and look bored?
Where is Judge Judy? She'd smack some sense into that insolent crackhead.
@Jana.. what are you waiting for? everyone else has.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:47pm.
Jana is there anything you haven't done?
Besides Jack...
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YOU!
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Jana is there anything you haven't done?
Besides Jack... ______________________________________________
"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
She should just take the plea deal. She will barely be in there for a month. They need to deal with this quickly. I know there's more important law issues in LA than this. If this goes to trial, Dina Lohan's delusional ass is gonna milk it like it's the biggest travesty since Michael Jackson.
I wish she was being tried for something else so I could definitely says she deserves it, because it seems that the shop owners are totally capitalizing on the situation as much as they can.
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It's not that serious.
That was fucking riveting.
if I'd had worn a condom fitting mini skirt for my DUI years ago, I'd have my ass thrown in jail just for that.
But I plead no contest and had my license revoked for over a year. But the prosecution did go hard after my ass and tried to make me sound like an out of control lunatic. Luckily, they were novices and I had an experienced criminal lawyer represent me (which cost me my said car). Judge ended up siding with me and just made me cut up my drivers license, pay a fine and then go through an AA evaluation.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
That is the ugliest dress I have ever seen in my entire life.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
She at least put some latex over her body to protect us all from her cooties. Can she also put some latex over her head too?
Submitted by herehere on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 12:30pm.
I'm no fan of Lohan and am patiently waiting for the day they find her bloated corpse in a ditch somewhere.
BUT, I don't believe she committed a crime in the whole necklace debacle. She is such an airhead that the story of her putting it on and forgetting - or assuming one of her 'people' would take care of it sounds incredibly plausible. The store's changing stories and attempt to sell the video tape and story smell very much like a 'let's see if we can cash in on the fame whore' scenario.
That said, I don't know who would call a latex mini dress modest - but I guess that's LA for you.
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Yeah, but what about that night when she went to take off all her jewelery before bed? Did she still not notice it then? Wouldn't most people have been waiting for the store to open the next morning to return said "mistake" and explain their airheadedness? Not wait until TMZ calls to notify said offender that there is a search warrant issued a week later I might add, and it magically gets returned to the police station, NOT the jewelery store?
Yeah.