These Two Broke Up
As you ice your fist after punching this truly punchable portrait of Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel has hiked up her parts and hit the ho stroll because the bitch is single. UsWeekly has confirmed that Jessica Biel has returned Justin Timberlake's dick in a box for a final time. This is the opposite of surprising for two reasons: a) Justin Timberlake probably screeches like a hyena on helium singing in falsetto when he cums and a bitch can only take so much of that. b) Justin Timberlake is most likely getting in Mila's Kunis. Anyway, here's the joint statement that Jessica and Justin released together:
"Addressing the media speculation regarding Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake’s relationship, we are confirming that they mutually have decided to part ways. The two remain friends and continue to hold the highest level of love and respect for each other."
Hopefully, this means that Justin Timberlake will slip on his Canadian tuxedo and woo Brit Brit Spears back. They're love is written in the stars on the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland. And I really hope that the Jessica Biel "lesbian" rumors go to the next level. Seriously, Jessica Biel and Michelle Rodriguez desperately need to get together in a totally non-lesbian way since they are both non-lesbians. They'd scissor until their pussy bones popped out of their sockets. Yup, MRod so needs to be Jessica's rebound.
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Urm - it's a SASKATCHEWAN tuxedo! duh.
jessica biel = poor man's angie harmon
He is a fugly douche.
them being together was always strange for me...they look like brother and sister...:-s
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
I refuse to trash JT. Lainey does enough of it for the entire world and its boring.
Team JT.
Biel keeps messing with her face and she looks like an alien. Don't these LA chicks have any real friends that say 'stop it, enough already'?
she is far too pretty for him. the only thing hot about JT is his bank account.
I think she really loved him and she is hot. He is also in love with himself. The problem I have with him is the way he leads these girls on and on. He has no empathy for other people. I'm not saying he should get married but she must have thought they would. Lucky she got away before wasting any more years on him. You can date a thousand people of you want. But you need to be honest at the beginning, or after a few months, with the person.
hope Jessica has a good trip back to oblivion. bye bye baby doll :)
And another Beard bites the dust.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by Madam Pince: "I can definitely see Biel and Rodriguez together. Living in the hills, driving a Subaru with several big dogs."
can I live there too!?!?!?
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"Rawb looks a little BUTTERY!!" Jacko 2/16/11
"I can't believe I have to pin my hopes on this season not sucking on a guy with a back hair sweater, but there it is." TWOP Survivor Recap
He could be 50 and I'd still feel like I was dating an infant. I honestly cannot grasp why women find him attractive. The bristly beardish mess on him is also turning my tummy... ooo.
FINALLY!!!
I didn't know now much longer that fuckin' farce was going to last. It was over like 3 years ago, but you know about keeping up appearances.
They both make me want to gag.
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One minute you're crying on their shoulders, the next minute you're using your tears as lube to ride that shit and fuck the hurt away.- The Brilliant MichaelK- 3/10/11
FINALLY these two are done. She's so boring, but really pretty - I hope she finds a hot super attractive boring beefy guy to replace Timberterd. Yah he's talented, entertaining, etc - but also really annoying and never gonna settle down.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42020891/ns/today-entertainment/
Based on this mess, it looks like she actually let that douche dump her! What?? Wow.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Submitted by Xander on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 9:18am.
Say what you will about JT, but he IS very entertaining. Yes he's annoying, narcissistic, and not very attractive... but he is the only funny thing about SNL anymore and he seems like a genuinely nice person.
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Yes i totally agree. My brother recently turned me on to his comedic abilities on SNL and damn the guy is hilarious. Very natural at comedy, it makes me wish his career started there instead of being mini Michael Jackson.
And that guy is not attractive, at all. Do not understand females going crazy for the guy.
"media speculation" LOL
Thanks for wasting my time, Justin!
Love,
Jessica
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Say what you will about JT, but he IS very entertaining. Yes he's annoying, narcissistic, and not very attractive... but he is the only funny thing about SNL anymore and he seems like a genuinely nice person. *Shrugs* I heard he never wants to marry so she probably was like "Peace" Although can that she-man have kids?
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"I do not drink, do drugs, or lie" --Lindsay Lohan 2007
Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 12:41am.
Like anyone's surprised. She looks really pretty in that pic. JT however looks like he only gets ass because he's famous.
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Uh, isn't that how most men in Hollywood get ass? The ratio of good looking, non-surgically enhanced male star vs fugly, run of the mill stars is quite large.
Do you honestly think most of the men in Hollywood would get ass if it weren't for celebrity status?
Really people, would you date someone who has a face like Mr. Timberdouche in the main picture?
Could you live with yourselves having that mug panting and wheezing close to your face during fucky times? SPOILER ALERT ~ hell NO!
I think she's really pretty. Does she even act anymore? *shrugs*
He needs to STOP with the acting and sing again!!! I've seen him in concert a few times and he's REALLY good. He's a douche b/c he's so desperate to be taken seriously in Hollywood when he needs to stick with what he's truly good at!
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Douchechill!
Submitted by kanderso on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 8:06am.
On the one hand I'm glad this finally happened because...
hahaha
Those who say JT is untalented (is that a word? Um, talentless?), haven't seen his Madison Square concert from a few years back. Esp his concert version of Til The End of Time. Very good, very well put together performance.
*** what goes down, must come up ***
On the one hand I'm glad this finally happened because they are both annoying as hell.
On the other hand, I'm sorry this happened because they are both annoying as hell and therefore perfect for each other.
I guess somewhere in my cold, black heart I'm glad that Timberdouche can no longer make Biel look like such a pathetic clinger. It was getting sad.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
On the one hand I'm glad this finally happened because they are both annoying as hell.
On the other hand, I'm sorry this happened because they are both annoying as hell and therefore perfect for each other.
I guess somewhere in my cold, black heart I'm glad that Timberdouche can no longer make Biel look like such a pathetic clinger. It was getting sad.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
So Bubble Butt and Mickey Mouse Ears broke up. BFD!!!!!!!!
P.S. I think he looks just like a seagull.
Don't care about these two. Do care about Idol. Disappointed there was no interaction between Puffy and J-Lo last night, as I would have loved any awkwardness. Can't stand the contestant with the overly whitened teeth, pussy voice, and vintage western outfits that must stink to high hell by now. Doesn't even matter, cause I get to be disappointed when America votes one of the two country hick kids to be the winner.
Submitted by Madam Pince: "I can definitely see Biel and Rodriguez together. Living in the hills, driving a Subaru with several big dogs."
Totally. I don't mind her. I think she's very pretty with a terrific body. And I have the hots for Michelle Rodriguez, too, apparently. Am I a lesbian?
JT is definitely punchable. The only thing I like about him is when he's on SNL, because he always does make me LOL even though I hate him.
Justin was a cute kid. As an adult like most of those former child stars, I think he is much overrated.
And I think he is a fugly pasty little fuck.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
For those of you saying Biel is untalented, I guess you haven't seen the pool scene in "Summer Catch."
The best part about the matching denim outfits is that I remember that day clearly, and thinking how oh so great they looked.
As for Biels. We'll never hear from her again. So thanks JT.
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scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
I have time for her, she's pretty and doesn't strike me as an asshole. She's too good for him. My beloved Mila is WAYYYYY too good for him! Least Macaulay was an interesting if substandard catch. JT is a fugly, talentless manwhore and I wouldn't touch him with yours. Run Mila RUN!
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
my kindred spirits are here on this site because people in my real life think this guy is hot, funny and talented... i think he is extremely punchable in his hideous face, not funny in the least and he sings like a hyena
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 6:38am.
Personally, he makes my vagina wanna pucker shut for a very long time.
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"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
I will never understand why anyone thinks JT is hot. Didn't get it in his nsync days, don't get it now.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
timberlake and jessica are like pink and her husband. on and off, on and off...off and on and so on. all the time! :/ but even if they're caput for good this time...he will find someone soon. it's the same circle of fuck buddies in hollywood. they have all slept together already.
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Justin is not aging well at all. He is quite fug. I love how everyone pretends he is still hot. The fact that he only goes after a-list actresses makes me suspicious.
"We're no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. Pass it on."
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ha! I like that one!
As for these two, thank God they officially shot this dead horse. It just means that Jessica Biel will go away just that much faster. That boring, untalented buttaface. Peace! JT back in the studio making music and not acting. check and check.
I can't for the life of me figure out who the biggest loser in this relationship was.
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Excellent, I was hoping you'd say that, because I haven't gone balls out crazy in a long time, and that's my favorite kind of crazy.-Veronica Palmer
What does #shitjustgotreal mean?
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Submitted by BabyJane on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 2:33am.
What can the family do though. He's 45 years old. Surrounded by scummy friends he has bought
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If Martin Sheen wanted to get Charlie arrested, he could do that.
There are drugs in the Pussy Palace, even if Charlie is not taking them, as of yet.
He's insane.
His family could do a 5150.
They are waiting for CHARLIE to beg for help this time or die, I am convinced.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 3:03am.
I like how the TMZ link mentions the part about his buddies eating burgers in the back yard like it's somehow an important detail.
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"I'm the guardian of this land,
I'm Dracula, Prince of Walacchia.
My name is synonymous with fear and terror
which I sowed and grew and which I fed on."
-Opera IX (Under the Sign of the Red Dragon)
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 3:03am.
Apparently Professor Winning is having burgers in the backyard with friends.
#shitjustgotreal
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One of the attendees is an Aussie dj who has been all over our news services telling insider chit chat. He has been at the sober house lodge (did I get that right?) for the past 3 days.
.
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"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
Apparently Professor Winning is having burgers in the backyard with friends.
#shitjustgotreal
What can the family do though. He's 45 years old. Surrounded by scummy friends he has bought
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by BabyJane on Fri, 03/11/2011 - 2:07am.
Charlie will never kill himself on purpose. His ego is too big.
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He might. He's been off his meds for awhile now, and his family is not stepping in.
He was supposedly in rehab all those other times, but it was more than likely rehab but with bipolar meds.
It's do or die for Charlie, now. He is 45 years old. Tough love to the end.
Literally.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Marjorie Ingall
Bye good
Charlie will never kill himself on purpose. His ego is too big.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.