And Another Contract Expires....
It is a sad day for contract writers, notaries, staples and Xerox machines, because yet another one of their fine works will not get a sequel. Just a day after Joe Jonas' "Don't call me Joe Gaynus (that's a two in one right there)" interview with Details turned all of us into Aunt Bunny for a minute, Page Six is saying that there will be no more staged photo-ops between him and Ashley Greene. In a hotel room somewhere, Joe Jonas is sitting on the edge of the bed and strumming out a song about how an expiration date broke his heart.
A source (aka Ashley Greene's publicist using the email address: imnotashleygreenespublicist@nuuh.never) tells Page Six that Joe and Ashley's completely authentic heterosexual love affair died like the feeling in his legs after wearing skinny jeans for more than 3 hours, because of their busy schedules. Ashley is off shooting Twatlight while Joe is working on his music in L.A.
Ted Casablanca at E! News also thinks that Ashley and Joe's PR stunt relationship is null and void, because they were both spotted solo at the same club a week apart. One witness type says Joe made it clear that he's not with Ashley anymore by doing the Jonas mating dance with a bunch of girls, "He was very flirtatious all night, and if I were Ashley Greene I would not want my boyfriend acting like that towards a bunch of hoes. He had his hands all over this girl's ass saying he couldn't take his eyes off her when she danced."
Are we sure that Joe wasn't hitting on actual garden hoes, because that would make more sense.
Contract writers can lift their weepy faces off of their keyboards, because Ashley isn't the type of fame fucker who is going to let a little thing called "failed negotiations" get in the way of her finding a love affair built for the pages of UsWeekly. I'm sure Ashley has already asked (insert the name of some famous dude with gay rumors on his back) to meet her in the conference room. Wink. Wink.
And in case you're wondering what the Jonas mating dance looks like:
UPDATE: It's confirmed. True love doesn't exist. The world only knows heartbreak. Blah blah blah
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Baby free gifts modestly Differentiation PlayStation Move Defecate Dissipative Acai berry boom Nativity Crossbowman Free gift catalog thunder sanae
that's time that I'll never get back in my life.
That lasted 11 mos and 9 days longer than we thought!!
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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A young John Leguizamo on the short bus.
LOL he won't even really hold her hand!!
Hee!
How funny would it be if she made an annoucement that he *is* ghey and she is his main hag. Then they could still have brunch and trade blowjob tips! No need to break up, ever!
He does not like girls, why else does he keep doing this dumb shit!
He should come out of the closet already.
how can they break up, when it's so obvious that it's true love...
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i've got the brains, you've got the looks...let's make lots of money...
she has a bigger skinny jeans bulge than he does(snigger)
Seriously, really: WHO GIVES A FUCK????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...this is the first time Ive seen this video...
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What's up, douchebag?
Submitted by runningwithscissors on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 10:31am.
To me this looks like a gay guy trying to pass himself off as straight by intentionally dancing really badly. Look at him grooving right at the beginning from the initial "All the single ladies" to "Put your hands up!" Look at the way he he works the rhythm and swings his hips. The rest is him desperately trying to convince us that he's so het that he couldn't possibly keep a beat or be comfortable.
Cute try, but no. Sorry.
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Co-signed. He didn't get those thighs by leaning over car engines or watching the game in his La-Z-Boy.
He sure is a hell of a lot better looking than those other two dorks, I give him that.
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You think Honey Badger cares? Honey Badger don't give a shit.
Well, this sounds a little closer to what a real source and not a written PR source would say with the "bunch of hoes", lol. The only eye witnesses who would care about these two tricks would be in their teens. Instead of "canoodled" it'd be, "...and OMG, he was like, all over her and we were all like, 'isn't he still with that Twilight girl?' and our friend was all like, 'he so is!' and then we were all like...."
I think the only gay Jonas is the oldest Kevin who married to his BFF beard. Joe and Nick don't seem gay to me, just Jonas's, if that makes any sense. Actually the little one seems plain straight.
Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas clearly saw their careers fading and tried to generate some interest with a showmance. Didn't work. No one cares.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 9:28am.
He reminds me of Mr. Bean only not as masculine.
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Ahahahahaaaahaaahahaahaaaaa!!
He is the only Jonas brother who I actually don't think is gay. And what happened to the whole promise ring thing?
I suppose to him it's better to keep dating and dumping girls than having a sexual relationship with a girl and being committed to her.
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It's not that serious.
I would like to see him holding hands with Zacky Efron.
$5 says his boyfriend gave him an ultimatum, and the article from yesterday was the last anal bead to pop.
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"Let me give you a little advice, girl stick figure, endorse something you know about. May I suggest breast implants? Your boyish figure is absolutely chilling." ~ Nicole Julian
"I'm not a queen, but I play one on video!"
Yeah, riiiiggggghhhhh......
To me this looks like a gay guy trying to pass himself off as straight by intentionally dancing really badly. Look at him grooving right at the beginning from the initial "All the single ladies" to "Put your hands up!" Look at the way he he works the rhythm and swings his hips. The rest is him desperately trying to convince us that he's so het that he couldn't possibly keep a beat or be comfortable.
Cute try, but no. Sorry.
Submitted by ditquoi on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 10:01am.
is this the one who was giving much face in the cover shot yesterday? I can't keep 'em straight. which one's moe, which one's larry and I assume this one is curly? :P
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LOL. It's so true.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
"His music.". Another one besides Jessica Simpson who you couln't hum one of their songs with a gun to your head. He'll soon be at the Justin Timberdouche Parasite Hilton School of Acting.
Bitch better keep her hands off my Jakey.
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"Now you know what 'rimming' is." -BK
Oh wow! He's available ladies!!
And by ladies, I mean dudes.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
is this the one who was giving much face in the cover shot yesterday? I can't keep 'em straight. which one's moe, which one's larry and I assume this one is curly? :P
Seriously!!! This is one of the blind items!!! Which one?? We have got to start matching these up!!!!
He looks way cuter with the shorter hair.
The only piece of joo-ree I'd pay $2,500 for is an Anderson Cooper pearl necklace. - MK
thanks message in a bottle! I'm a durrr w/these "new" disney guys
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
This clip is even more awkward than the "football throwing" shots of all three Jonas brothers.
Cringing at Joe and taking comfort in the beauty of thegobbler's clip. THAT is how it's done!
Submitted by UltraBaroque on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 9:39am.
That was the dancing of a straight guy.
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it's just because it's harder in heels.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
A gay guy, pretending to be a straight guy pretending to be a gay guy dancing. I think Julie Andrews did it better.
"I am special and I will never be one of you." - Charlie Sheen
Pffft! That was stupid. If Baby Joey is going to do Single Ladies, he needs to COMMIT to the BIT! Classic example is Justin Timberlake on SNL. Now that was funny. COMMIT TO THE BIT, Joe. Otherwise, it just looks sloppy.
THIS is how it's done:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/1077556/
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I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
That was the dancing of a straight guy.
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I have to agree with that....but, was that yet another act? The talented Mr. Jonas is drawing us into ever more complex games.
Moving on, nice quads.
He does pretty good in those damn heels... an obvious pro.
and yes, this Ashley person is gorgeous!
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
He's either a real tool or ghey.
www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
www.petfinder.com - Enter your zip code & find pets available in your area for adoption.
Love the video. I didn't want to weigh in on whether he was gay or not because I have no clue who they are or what they sing and what they do in their private lives. With this video, i'm convinced. He's got the moves down to a T and is truly enjoying himself.
He'll come out when his career will start flopping.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Joe is a gay twink. Ashley got sick of rubbing her vagina with Joe's vagina. Joe needs a big man to tickle his vagina.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
She was already scrapping the bottom to keep the fame. Wonder who she'll date next because Twilight's ending soon and I don't think she's ever been in anything else.
That chick is SMOKIN HOT!
He reminds me of Mr. Bean only not as masculine.
"iamnotashleygreenespublicist@". HAHAHAHA MK that is hilarious
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Hahahahahaha! Raul!
That was the dancing of a straight guy.
Um, after watching that video, I think that Joe wants to put a cock ring on it.
TEXBRO
Klingon Madonna say what? - MK
I still like this version better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTegy6sBQVA
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"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
That's the same look Michael Jackson had on his face the first time he met Macaulay Culkin. ************************************************************************************************ "Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree, and banged every guy on the way down?" http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8867f06ee0/the-charlie-sheen-is-too-da
I find him so incredibly repulsive.
Does she do anything besides those Twilight movies?
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
She is so gorgeous.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
She is pretty.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 9:16am.
yeah I thought they were married, too!
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It's actually Kevin Jonas that's married (I have younger sisters, gimme a break :P)
oh and MK dropping the Aunt Bunny in his posts NEVER gets old!
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K