Rebecca Black Might Be A Millionaire Soon
In a little over a week, the Antoine Dodson of first quarter 2011 has put Sesame Street out of business for teaching the kids about the days of the weekend and has already become a pop culture superstar bigger than Spaghetti Cat and STAINS combined. And now Forbes is saying that Rebecca Black can buy all the seats in the car, because if she isn't already a millionaire, she's on her way to becoming one. I'll wait here while you pull your 13-year-old out of school so that you can tape them singing a song about breakfast (which you will write in the car).
We already know that Rebecca's mother paid Ark Music Factory $2000 for two songs and one video. Forbes initially reported that Rebecca's "It's Friday and I'm in Pain" song has been downloaded 2 million times, but they corrected themselves and said that the actual number has 5 zeroes instead of 6. iTunes pays out $.70 per download, so Rebecca (or Ark) has made anywhere from $70,000 to $700,000 and counting.
Forbes added that thanks to YouTube's revenue sharing program, Ark has pocketed around $20,000 for the video's 30 million views.
But the question I need the answer to is: who in tween Winnie Cooper hell is downloading that song? The Happy Days theme song doesn't even have that many downloads, and they give us ALL the days of the week! Instead of wasting your parent's money, just shove a fried egg hot off the pan into your ear hole. It will have the same effect and won't leave scars.
And as I gaze into my crystal meth ball, I see the headline: "WE ARE THE WORLD 2011 (for Japan) featuring Golden Voice, Rebecca Black and Antoine Dodson! Coming Soon!"
• 
winnie and kevin had kids? i thought that was just a tv show...
Her song is the funniest song on earth
seriously...
me and my friend are singing
killing ourselves with a
gun gun gun
because of this
song song song
instead of
partying partying
fun fun fun
-------------------------------------------
fairycouture - wickedd
In other news Lea Michele is draggged kicking and screaming into "your 15 minutes is over" reject pile.
*****************************************************
"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
How sure are we that this isn't just Lea Michele trying to get people to like her?
I'm adding this to my list of things i hope to never hear...along with a Jonas Brothers song or anything Justin Bieber. So far so good.
**************************************************************
Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Oh why not...people actually voted for Sarah Palin. This doesn't really surprise me in the least.
What a bunch of naysayers y'all are!
Me? I can't wait til she gets her ho shit makeover!
THAT is gonna be precious! And when Paris takes her under her gigantic wing and teaches her all about cocaine and herpes? How can you not be excited about that?! Her first rehab?! C'mon guys! We have years of entertainment ahead of us here!
♥ Threadkilla!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
ARK should be ashamed for exploiting teenagers just so they can grab notoriety and limelight.
Their newest video, where they promise a "Who Is Ark" video to be release on FRIDAY, FRIDAY, used a clip from my rant video about them.
I don't give a shit if they're trolling, this whole series of events makes me sick to my stomach.
-----
you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
Just checked my watch.... that asteroid should be here any time.
Has Jennifer Lopez called her so they can do a duet? JHO loves to attach herself to anything popular. JHO could use some 'singing' advice, even from this girl.
The parents should be slapped.
.
______________________________
"I still wouldn't..." - Satan
Submitted by fuzzyslippers :I had this stupid fucking song in my head all weekend. What made it even worse was that I read a post by Sucky last week and I kept singing, "FRIED EGGS FRIED EGGS GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIED EGGS!" *shoots self*
_____________________________________________
Bahahahahaha! I feel your pain. This past weekend, I randomly had the song that fake Miley girl on SNL sings for the Miley Show:
"...and I'm ready to Gooooooooooooo! It's really cooool!"
(*head, meet door)
***********************************************
"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
And as I gaze into my crystal meth ball, I see the headline: "WE ARE THE WORLD 2011 (for Japan) featuring Golden Voice, Rebecca Black and Antoine Dodson! Coming Soon!"
----
LMFAO I joked to my folks last week that I have been waiting for the remake of "We Are The World" for Japan.
-----------------------------------------------
"I'm bisexual myself; if you buy me something, I become sexual!" - GloZell
So a bunch of morons spend a dollar to get a "song" that has a three-note (being generous there, since it's predominantly one-note) "melody"...and this is somehow newsworthy and celebrated?
Well that's it. I'm finally going to do that film titled "365 days of my bowel movements" and now, thanks to Rebecca Black, I know *my* shit will make a million bucks just like hers!
Gettin my bowl. Gettin my cereal. Turning it into the star of Day One.
shit is just so random these days it hurts...I have no idea in the world about this Penelope Cruz looking child or her song and she's just made $700K? jeez man I need a schtick so I can cash in on some of that viral video money. the smash pie in your face/spray yourself with a soda bottle/slip on a banana for 50 feet gag has already been done, right? :P
Bigger than Spaghetti Cat and STAINS!!?? aw hell naw!
I agree with azgirl.
Who the hell is downloading this song? Just play it for free on youtube! God, I hate people.
I don't care how shitty that song is she is 13. I cannot even list off all the stupid shit I did at that age. She is being ridiculed enough by everybody so I hope she does make some money off this shit. Hopefully she will save the money, enjoy her 15 minutes, and get on with her life.
That said, I will be pissed if these skeezy guys are the ones who are profiting off of this.
Not a clue who this is.
_______________________________________________
"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Submitted by Chelseagrrl on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 12:24pm.
Hey Chelseagrrl, i suffer the same, and wouldn't have noticed otherwise if it wasn't Hosoi lol
Submitted by kari54 on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 11:57am.
@kieranx, they probably let her have the rights to the song for the 2000.00. They were essentially ripping her off, as the song is super crappy, and they would have had no idea it would go viral
___________________________________________________
Then they'd be idiots. This is a business. No one in their right minds would sign away publishing for $2K flat. Likely they said, we'll write and record/produce a track for you for $2K. (I'm sure the video was a separate cost, otherwise, there would be no profit in it.) And if they're using their own artists in it (the rapper guy), then they have hopes of something happening like what did happen.
But point being- no one gives away publishing unless they have to. And these guys at Ark are not in a position where they have to do anything. Clueless parents come to them to turn their no-talent children into pop singers. Trust me, they retain the rights to everything and I'm certain there's a clause in the contract that says they get handsomely rewarded for their efforts should one of things hit.
Granted, I haven't seen the paperwork, but I work in this business for a living, so I can't imagine any attorney recommending anything other than the above scenario when putting together those standard contracts.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
Thanks @BitchHouse , I have the WORST habit of mixing up letters in names. Seriously and I'm not dyslexic. I'm going to edit it because I look even more retarded than usual. I need an open post so I can whine about a website.
Submitted by Saix on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 12:07pm.
She kinda looks like Penelope Cruz.
More like an uglier Paz Vega.
She's white harmless and pretty. I saw a Ark music "party" You Tube and they have other acts far more cult-worthy. The ugly fat Shirley Temple creation CJ Fam and this little black 8 or 9 year old rapping girl I forgot her name but nice interview "I was rappin' before I was born!". Poor her mother.
She kinda looks like Penelope Cruz.
+ + + + +
You're not popular.
Question, what happened to Antoine? He has a movie coming out and his voice was seriously fucking weird in it. Is he living in LA now, befriending Bobby Trendy?
Bitch is Ali Lohan ugly.
"They love to skate and the chance to attend a camp ran by Chris Hosio is awesome."
Hosoi =)
♫BOOT MOVES, BOOT MOVES, BOOT MOVES, YEAH♫
****************************
"How come everyone looks nice yet has the personality of Satan?" Irish Fury re Dlisters 3/16/11
"See you next fucking season, troll." TWOP Survivor Recap
WHAT????!!!! Ridiculousness all the way to the bank.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
Quien?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
@kieranx, they probably let her have the rights to the song for the 2000.00. They were essentially ripping her off, as the song is super crappy, and they would have had no idea it would go viral
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 11:53am.
Considering the words in FRIDAY FRIDAY, surely we can come up with something as catchy if not more so.
WIG TAX! WIG TAX!
````````````````````````````
I am on a conference call right now and it took everything I had to not just burst out laughing.
Fucking, Jesus Dlisted whores! We got some slutz in here who is good with the werdz. We should totally make a song, get a young and relatively attractive member of the Dlisted posters to sing it, upload it, and sit back and let the millions roll in.
Considering the words in FRIDAY FRIDAY, surely we can come up with something as catchy if not more so.
WIG TAX! WIG TAX!
I Can't With You
Would You Hit It?
Mah Boo! Mah Boo!
CPS is on Line One
Just a few of the titles I thought of while waiting for my eBay aution to end.
***************************
"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
"Submitted by Morbidosity on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 11:30am.
Someone enlighten me on this girl - What is the deal?
WTH is she getting death threats for? So what her parents paid to have her recorded? In light of things like My Super Sweet 16 and other bullshit, this is mild."
I'm going to out my side job here to make sense on why I am being a know it all. I work for Vice Magazine and I did an article about ARK /Rebecca. My article wasn't PRO Ark or anything, it was more along the lines of "This is what kids are doing instead of modeling school" .
Her death threats are on public display, if you go to the fake twitter account @_RebeccaBlack_ & go to the photos, then look at comments / you'll see what I'm talking about. People had assumed (and still do) that this is her real twitter account. Even Perez's stupid ass was tweeting it as hers. This of course is just a snip of what else I've seen.
The story goes: Rebecca learned from school (via choir) that ARK Music Factory had "packages" for vocal training, studio time and video creation. Apparently a more popular girl had went to ARK and just like all things in middle school, you want to out shine the "bitch" in your peer group. Just picture any modeling school of the 80's / 90's. ARK advertises at schools and goes into music classes with these big dreams to be sold. I think it's rather fucked that schools are allowing this bullshit. For 2,000 dollars she could go to the studio, cut a track and they would establish her on the internet and make her video. She had to supply the friends, the cars, the background for the video and sign over all rights. Her parents paid the 2,000 as a gift. 2,000 had covered 2 weeks of "training" and video production which was said to be valued at 1,000. (that's incredibly cheap!) Her parents allowed her to do it for life experience not the illusion she would be famous. It's no different than going to modeling school to say you went to modeling school. I've paid twice that for skateboarding camp for my kids and I'm far from well off or even upper middle class. They love to skate and the chance to attend a camp ran by Chris Hosoi is awesome.
I don't get why people are freaking out her parents shelling out 2K for this. If they were constantly paying thousands of dollars for random shit like this, then I'd see the issue but that's apparently not the case. The girl whom she had heard of this through, was who began making this viral and why at a year later - we are all talking about it.
Edited because I can't spell names and I already look dumb enough defending actions of a stranger.
oh yah i hope she pays income tax on all that.
Chelseagrrrrl, you have almost swayed me to your side with that argument. I'm 70% with you.
She seems like a happy, well-adjusted kid. And reading that it wasn't HER or her parents who put the video out there also makes me hate her less.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 11:43am.
according to Forbes, here's the next hit from ARK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xHfRUW99aI&feature=relmfu
****************************
Yay! Raul is looking forward to a whole new crop of female talent that still smells like pee! ************************************************************************************************ "Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree, and banged every guy on the way down?" http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8867f06ee0/the-charlie-sheen-is-too-da
according to Forbes, here's the next hit from ARK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xHfRUW99aI&feature=relmfu
****************************
"How come everyone looks nice yet has the personality of Satan?" Irish Fury re Dlisters 3/16/11
"See you next fucking season, troll." TWOP Survivor Recap
I admit I'm getting old, I routinely ingest pharmaceuticals and drink like there's no tomorrow at times, but less and less shit happening in this world is making any sense to me at all. This story is the shit icing on my little fucked cake for today.
I truly fear for subsequent generations (if they even come to fruition.)
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
"I am going to rock myself in a corner in my Slanket now." - Plecostomus
They should set super-powerful speakers next to Gaddafi's bunker and play "Fried Egg" 24/7 until he either comes out & surrenders, or kills himself. Whatever comes first.
surely, i can't be the only one who hasn't seen this mess...nor do i want to...
_____________________________________________
i've got the brains, you've got the looks...let's make lots of money...
The idiots who bought this chick's song and thus made her a millionaire should be shot for being so stupid (and for having shitty taste).
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 11:29am.
I had this stupid fucking song in my head all weekend. What made it even worse was that I read a post by Sucky last week and I kept singing, "FRIED EGGS FRIED EGGS GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIED EGGS!" *shoots self*
--------------------
BWAAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Suddenly, I'm starting to believe all those "THE END IS NEAR" and "DOOMSDAY PROPHECY REVEALED" headlines that I see on National Enquirer. ARGH.
Good thing, she can use that million dollars to get a nose job.
One of the other commenters mentioned it but Ark is getting almost all the funds. Since they wrote the lyrics and "signed" her, she's their property. She's only making money off her paid interviews, magazine shoots but at the same time, she makes 10% of what ARK is receiving when she plays the song on air. I look at her career as a mistake or right place at the right time. A group of girls she goes to school with, discovered the video and because they had a falling out with her - began to show it on Tumblr. This video was created a year ago. It went viral in a moment and the rest is history. What began as bullying ended up benefiting her. The person who caused it all is who runs the fake _Rebeccablack_ twitter. If you read the timeline you'll see when it all started. Either way the entire nation will click her new song out of curiosity.
Sammy Hagar's aliens can take me now, because I can't with this stupidity. *throws radio at wall*
@Cupcake - do not let your virgin ears hear that mess...
Someone enlighten me on this girl - What is the deal?
WTH is she getting death threats for? So what her parents paid to have her recorded? In light of things like My Super Sweet 16 and other bullshit, this is mild.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
If all dogs go to heaven, should Michael Vick be worried about making the cut?
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 03/22/2011 - 11:27am.
WTF was Usher doing there?
One of the ARK owners had a cameo in her vid and he kind of looks like Usher.