Open Post: Hosted By The Drunk Alphabet
This clip from a cop car cam shows a drunk lady in Ohio trying to recite the alphabet and count from 69 after she was pulled over for possible DUI. Homegirl didn't say the alphabet the way most of us say it, she did it the Jessica Simpson way and skipped a few of the least popular letters. But the thing is, is this a drunk ho test or the damn kindergarten SATS?! Shit. Dumb shit drunk drivers already have to worry about killing themselves and others on the road, and now they have to worry about sharpening the No. 2 pencil in their heads to take a test if they get pulled over? Whatever happened to the days when drunks just blew on something and called it a night? I blame that Waiting for Superman documentary.
And that cop isn't right. When her drunk ass went from D to F to W to Z back to L, that should've been his cue to lock 'er up instead of telling her to go on. He just wanted to keep laughing at drunk sad ass.
via Buzzfeed
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uummmmm i joked that this woman must be from my hometown of alliance, ohio -- well, guess what! she is... alliance's finest right there.
I want to jump in and say I'm half Finnish and somehow relate it to the Norwegian/farting/where ever this thread is going but I will continue to sip on my chardonay,love my fart free kitties ,and talk nonsense. My new really bad addiction is watching 90210,the college years when Ray beat Donna and Kelly was a coke whore..
All on soapnet.....that shit bad as it was got me through college!
@NorwayGirl, the roadside test is part of police procedure to determine a person's mental and physical abilities, to be used to build a criminal case, in addition to the results of the breathalyzer. Some breathalyzer results can be thrown out of court, so the tests serve as further evidence of a person's impairment.
Don't see much wrong with using checks morally or otherwise, we have services to determine their validity, so don't know what you mean there.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Thu, 03/31/2011 - 12:13am.
Submitted by Norwaygirl on Thu, 03/31/2011 - 12:06am.
Sometimes I do not understand Norway. You are great skiers, but still do not see the humor in making a drunk driver recite the alphabet from D to W.
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HAHAHAHAHA!
Norwegians do not see the humor in anything! (I am Norwegian, so I get to say that.)
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Come on down and collect your prize of nothing!
Submitted by Norwaygirl on Thu, 03/31/2011 - 12:06am.
Sometimes I do not understand Norway. You are great skiers, but still do not see the humor in making a drunk driver recite the alphabet from D to W.
Doesn't the police in USA have that little breathing thing that tells whether one is drunk or not?
Sometimes I do not understand USA. You are educated, smart, caring, powerful and rich, but still use checks as payments..
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:59pm.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:43pm.
hahaha. You obvs haven't had enough to drink. And what the hell is that claw for anyways?
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I use mine to toss things into the pot with the rest of the night's dinner.
Koko, I guess I'm "lucky"; when my husband farts and I laugh, he gets mad at me. Sensitive little rascal.
_________________________
Come on down and collect your prize of nothing!
I live with a world champion farter...and while I find it moderatly disgusting I still giggle (inapproprietely) at 6 Am when. MR.K chastises (affectionatly) one of the two cats sleeping on the bed.Seriously I never would have imagined finding humor in third grade fart jokes...
yes, I'm lame like that.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:43pm.
hahaha. You obvs haven't had enough to drink. And what the hell is that claw for anyways?
Hotpocket,
The 'tampon' always wins. Always.
Fraggle, just saw your post, thanks so much for the info! On the subject of men farting, the men in my family are the worst. My brother farts whenever he gets in my car on purpose when I'm driving and can't escape. It smells like a possum crawled up there and died. But all the jokes come to an end whenever you threaten them with a tampon, works every time.
i love watching tamara act like a seventeen year old slut on spring break..ur 42 with 4 kids or whatever it is...doing body shots??!its funny how she kisses vickis ass & says if alexis starts with you i got your back...isn't that how highschool girls talk & act?she probably begged the producers to film that bathtub scene to rub it in simons face.way to act like a mom u whore!
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 11:37pm.
That shit's hard! Start with D and end with W? Uhhh... Dew? Declaw?
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DEWCLAW! I win!
_________________________
Come on down and collect your prize of nothing!
That shit's hard! Start with D and end with W? Uhhh... Dew? Declaw?
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:54pm.
I know I have to just take it, but I hate when my husband farts and acts like its some big fucking accomplishment. No, you DON'T need to cheer loudly afterward. I don't talk shit or throw the stink eye until he begins to celebrate his gassy ass.
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Maybe it's time to start self-highfiving every time you soak the shit out of a superplus megatampon, which you then flamboyantly toss into the pot with the rest of the night's dinner.
_________________________
Come on down and collect your prize of nothing!
Fraggle
Fraggle
SugarFreeRedBull on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:54pm.
I know I have to just take it, but I hate when my husband farts and acts like its some big fucking accomplishment. No, you DON'T need to cheer loudly afterward. I don't talk shit or throw the stink eye until he begins to celebrate his gassy ass.
Tell him, "Listen, lets have all the farts we want, we're only fucking human, but, can we have one hot weekend, where we don't eat gassy things, we try to slim down a bit by holding back on the overly filling foods and then putting all of that energy into fucking each other's brains out? Is that possible? HUH?
Hotmami on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:39pm.
WH?+?
yucko on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 10:27pm.
Fraggle, are you taking the pills or eating some kind of RJ substance...?
I'm taking the fresh frozen! I used to get chronic thrush on my tongue and royal jelly cured my systemic candida crap too. I'm high on life right now!
@SugarFreeRedBull, you are a stronger woman than I. I could not deal with that.
I know I have to just take it, but I hate when my husband farts and acts like its some big fucking accomplishment. No, you DON'T need to cheer loudly afterward. I don't talk shit or throw the stink eye until he begins to celebrate his gassy ass.
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Cartman (singing): Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross / I can’t help but think that he looks kinda hot.
Submitted by Fraggle on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 8:48pm.
*waves to Hotmami*
Did you get paid??????
*waves back* Yeah, I did. The paper was saying that if this happens it will be on the first of next month.
*cries*
*stands on streetcorner in fishnets and stilettos*
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Commencing to smoke after spending an hour and a half in the gym. I think I either lost my scarf in the gym or on the way back from it, too... I also saw someone I've met before at a party there, and neither of us said anything to each other. One has to wonder if it's because he didn't recognize me or just willfully ignored me because I looked like shit.
Ugh, I'm hungry.
Fraggle, are you taking the pills or eating some kind of RJ substance...?
hotpocket on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 9:54pm.
@Fraggle, good to know! I will check out the royal jelly. I only get PMS two days a month, but it's bad, like hit the deck, and I also get crabby for a day or so when I'm ovulating, which is now. (Sorry to the menfolk if we've temporarily turned the thread into the Oprah show, lol) I'm really into natural medicine and love hearing what works for people. Definitely need help in the energy department too. Cheers!
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I'm taking your post to the OPEN POST (hope you don't mind).
hotpocket, I don't know where you live but depending on weather and location...royal jelly can get spendy but so worth it compared to pharmaceutical crap that probably creates more problems than it solves.
The first time I tried royal jelly was back in 1997 and it was so acrid and bitter I almost threw up (LMAO). But, I was so pleasantly surprised by Glory Bee's royal jelly which tastes zingy but less nasty:
http://www.glorybeefoods.com/gbf/Shop_ProductDetail.cfm?PC=1&PSC=0&P=11345&Product_Name=royal%20jelly,%20fresh%20frozen&Token=67.170.123.240:{ts_2011-02-28_15:00:44}-668402
Also, be sure to CALL in your order because if you live close enough to Oregon, you can order it 2nd day UPS. They are super kind people at Glory Bee. I called them to just give them kudos for doing such a great job and the manager sent me a 12 ounce bottle of gourmet honey and a thank-you note for making her/their day by calling just to tell them how appreciative I was.
How cool is that? :)
*waves to Hotmami*
Did you get paid??????
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If teachers taught children how to say the alphabet backwards what would be the reasoning behind that? "Hello, children, now I'm going to teach you how to get out of a DUI by rote!"
*pops head in*
HI,WHORES!!!!
*resumes fantasies about guy friend*
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
This is the new and revamped alphabet, ok, you just place the letters wherever you want as you know them already.
It's sad that only this lady seems to know about the new and revamped alphabet.
Fishy, I know better than to call you fat- those ladies are the commenters at Jezebel. :)
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Some days I'm a super bitch, up to my old tricks, but it won't last forever
PSL, true confessions.
Did I call you fat? where the hell did you get that from?
I just want this genre to be gone, and I don't understand why people keep perpetuating it. Some stuff i can understand being interesting, even though I choose not to watch it, but these fucking Housewives?
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Some days I'm a super bitch, up to my old tricks, but it won't last forever
PSL, Yes I watch it because I'm a morbidly obese shut-in who lives out my wildest fantasies through overpriveledged assholes on TV. Get over it.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:39pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:28pm.
Does anyone watch Bethany Ever After? I used to like her but now it seems like she's having a damn tantrum meltdown every episode. It's not that serious, grrlfrrrend.
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you're kidding me. You watch that shit? She is a NOBODY. An ugly nobody, with no redeeming qualities. Why do you reward her by watching her stupid show? None of those stupid fucking "housewives" have any business being famous!
Gah, I fucking hate Reality TV!
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Some days I'm a super bitch, up to my old tricks, but it won't last forever
yes jana.
http://www.sparkcaster.com/demotivational/images/every%20male%20teacher%...
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 5:16pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 5:10pm.
*gives jana after school detention.
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but my answer was right. The only detention I need is a slap on the buttocks.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 5:10pm.
*gives jana after school detention. gets fired 6 months later*
Submitted by Provolone on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 5:02pm.
Submitted by Jana on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:40pm.
4th grade math question (Scary!) is - if the radius of a circle is 1 over pi what is the circumference of the circle?
I got a nose bleed from just reading the question.
I say 2.
1/3.14*2=d d*3.14=2 Correct. : O
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YAY!
The answer was 2, but I would have went all way for the green, given her track record.
She just waltzed out of there with no care in the world proclaiming that she was not smarter than a 5th grader.
Shoot me for watching this show.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
LOL at Prof. Provy!!
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:32pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:04pm.
Submitted by Whatever on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:01pm.
That sure is a short chubby little thing.
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*puts penis away*
*performs cyber bj to pop it back out*
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YES YES!!!
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Submitted by kokoskitten on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 5:01pm.
Alexis is the most horrible housewife...
I hate how she picks and hooses (oops typo) when she is christian. Does she do volunteer or do anything charitable??
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NO!!! All she does is sit up on her hor horse and judge everyone else. >:<
Alexis is the most horrible housewife...
I hate how she picks and hooses (oops typo) when she is christian. Does she do volunteer or do anything charitable??
Submitted by Jana on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:40pm.
4th grade math question (Scary!) is - if the radius of a circle is 1 over pi what is the circumference of the circle?
I got a nose bleed from just reading the question.
I say 2.
1/3.14*2=d d*3.14=2 Correct. : O
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:41pm.
MOBILE! (I think)
Montgomery. Somebody wasn't taught the state capital rap song in elementary school.
Last question before final take off was US History - but she dropped out instead of taking it. :(
Where are my gambling hoes at?
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 4:39pm.
Agree. Like many sophomore efforts, this year is all manufactured drama. And she's so damn thin, I find her hard to watch. Her facial bones (esp the jaws) are frightening. She talks about food in interviews way too much and goes on and on about how she used to obsess over it but is now totally healthy and enjoys the odd binge now and again. Ana, please!
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Somethings I understand, such as her husband wanted to be with his parents 24/7. But I guess the first season was such a breathe of fresh air after all of the RHONY toxicity.
IF...I'd forgotten about her gold digga cheatin ways!!! LOL.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
Girlfriend is going straight to the top. She hasn't missed a question yet.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 03/30/2011 - 3:35pm.
from wiki - Tilikum returned to performing on March 30, 2011. The trainers no longer work closely with him, and no trainers are allowed in the water with him. High pressure hoses are used to direct the whales, and guardrails and safety nets have also been installed in the pool. There are plans to install false-bottom floors that can lift trainers and whales out of the pools in under a minute.
JESUS! Seriously!??
How about this: whales aren't fucking toys!!
Are they kidding, high pressure hoses, nets, trap fucking doors...why all that when you can just realize that whales aren't supposed to live in swimming pools and perform tricks for people?
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
MOBILE! (I think)
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."