Micaela Schäfer Serving Up Knitting Circle Realness

Germany's #1 tourist attraction and the slutty gift that keeps on slutting, Micaela Schäfer, floated onto the red carpet at Berlin Fashion Week today and continued to show us simple bitches how she can turn everyday household objects into an ensemble dripping with luxury, sophistication and the kind of refined demureness that can only be achieved when you're desperate to show as much of your body as possible without getting arrested. Micaela did it with VHS tape, a sequined appliqué and she did it again today with yarn from her grandmother's sewing box. Only Micaela can make dollops of yarn poo look like they were spun by Rumpelstiltskin out of a grey unicorn's tail. Lady CaCa, put down that ball of yarn, you could NEVER bring it like this.

I have one question about these pictures. How are the bitches around Micaela not on the floor, worshiping at her feet?! What is wrong with them? When a goddess like Micaela shows up to a fashion show with knit anal cones on her shoulders and knit tit beanies, you get on the floor and pay homage!