Opening Them Wider Doesn't Make You Look Less Coked Out

Notice the difference between Radha Mitchell's eyes and Johnathan Rhys Meyers' eyes. She just looks a little surprised, while he looks like he's trying to stop the room from shaking with the power of the glare. Bai Ling looks like she's trying to give the camera a bad case of the clap.

Johnathan was the star of "The Tudors" premiere in Hollywood last night and it looks like he needed a little help to get through it. He brought his girlfriend, Reena Hammer and posed with co-star Callum Blue.

That being said, I'd still let JRM do lines off my nutsack. Winter just ended so it ain't too clean down there. He might accidentally snort a little pube. A little pube never hurt anyone!