Dlisted | Be Very Afraid

Robbie Williams Goes Off

Robbie Williams is following the new celebrity trend by going off on his website. Robbie who's just out of rehab went off on some woman he was dating named "Tina" after he found out she had a boyfriend. Robbie goes:

"There are a few dating rules people adhere to out here in Hollywood. And they're all fucking stupid. Don't call until the next day. Then don't get back to him for at least two days, etc. It's all rubbish. If any of these rules are applied to me, I respond in kind by never speaking to them again.

"I trust you (Tina) less than ever now. You have completely blown any trust I had for you by being a devious cunt. If I knew my girlfriend had been on a dinner and DVD night with another man I would be livid. I'm furious thinking about it!!!!! And it happened weeks ago."

As I left the sweaty eatery I noted her carp-like eyes dancing a merry jig. A jig that said a: He's got my number, he may call it, and b: Look at the paparazzi swarm his car. He is wanted - I must have him. Indeed, if she had a cock it would have been standing to attention."

"She's amazing from the front, but from the side she looks like a shed is about
to land on her on a special delivery from Kansas".

Wow. Can you say crack rant?! I love crack rants, because they are so damn entertaining. My favorite part is "if she had a cock it would have been standing to attention." I should offer Robbie a job to write full-time for Dlisted. He's got mad skills.

Source: LondonNet - Image: Splash

Posted by: Michael K

71 comments •

Hotness

Is Halle Knocked Up?

It's a slow ASS news day so I have to resort to asking stupid questions. Halle Berry actually does look like there's a baby on board. Her ta-tas look a little full. Ugh, that grossed me out. Anyway, I'm sure her children with Gabriel Aubry. She's sort of looking a little Scary-Spice-ish here.

Flynet

Posted by: Michael K

31 comments •

Halle Berry • Knocked Up

Angie Doesn't Want to Marry Brad

Angelina Jolie has been married twice before to Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton and said she will only marry guys with three names. No, she says she's been married before and doesn't have any plans to become Brad's wife. She spills the beans in the new issue of Readers Digest. Ok, why RD?! Weird.

She said, "We've both been married before. Our focus when we got together was family, and we are legally bound to our children. That really seems to be the most important thing."

Brad has said in the past that the two will only marry when it's legal for everyone to do so. Does that mean Angie's really a man? I kid, I kid. Angelina's vagina can't stay with just one man. I think their days are numbered. She's going to do another movie with some dude and instantly fall in love with him. I know how it goes.

Source: Female First

Posted by: Michael K

80 comments •

Brangelina

Denise Richards Claim She Doesn't Work With Paparazzi

In the new issue of Radar Magazine they claim that Denise Richards is known for working with paparazzi to get shots of her, her children and her men in exchange for a little cold hard cash. This is ironic since Denise is being sued by a photo agency for throwing their laptops over a balcony while they were shooting her.

Denise denies that she worked with photographers to get pictures of her and her children. She said, "Paparazzi were climbing over the fence to try to get shots of me inside my house. I had to hire a security guard to live with me and I kept the shades down at all times. It was awful. Women would come up to me on the street all the time and say, 'I admire you for conducting yourself so graciously.' A year later when I was dating Richie [Sambora], I was on the cover of every tabloid again. Suddenly the world hated me. I was called a husband-stealer and a back-stabber in the press."

Ok what women tell her this?! I really want to know, because those are some dumbass women. The world hates Denise, because she did steal Heather Locklear's husband! Just be real about it. I mean I'd respect Denise a lot more if she just said "Yeah, I stole that ho's husband. If she knew how to please him this wouldn't be an issue!"

Source: Page Six - Image: SplashNews

Posted by: Michael K

25 comments •

Denise Richards

Beat Love

I really hope Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson look so haggard from marathon sex sessions, because they look all sorts of used up. Is there not air conditioning at the joint they are in? They both look sweaty and gross. That being said, they make an interesting couple.

Here's Team Blondie at the premiere of "The Wendell Baker Story" in Beverly Hills last night.

Posted by: Michael K

49 comments •

Kate Hudson

Looking Gorgeous

Britney...Britney...Britney...This ho either gets dressed in the dark, has mental issues, is color blind or lets Paris Hilton's vagina dress her. From the trucker hate to the towel necklace to the knee socks....this is neon vomit.

SplashNews

Posted by: Michael K

137 comments •

Britney Spears

Someone Out There Loves Paris

Spencer Pratt (he's from "The Hills") has started his own online petition asking to free Paris Hilton. He said that once he ges 100,000 signatures he's going to hand it over to the L.A. Mayor who will hopefully dump it into the garbage can.

Spencer said, "I've always thought that the punishment should fit the crime. Paris has changed her image dramatically over the last couple years. Now she is such a good role model and a smart business woman. So it's a shame that a miscommunication between her and her people is landing her in jail. She should get probation with community service, but no way should she be put in jail with real criminals."

Um.....yeah...deep shit. Spencer is obviously just using this time to get a little PR for himself, because really...who is he? You can visit his MySpace page if you care, but anybody who thinks Paris is a good role model must be mentally retarded.

Source: US Weekly

Posted by: Michael K

89 comments •

Dumbasses • Paris Hilton