Last night's Rock and Rock Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony in NYC looked like either a hot mess convention or an AA reunion. I mean, WTF?! What happened to Patti Smith?! She looks like the bad end of gutter-found Jack Daniels bottle. We all know Keith Richards is haggard. I think his skin is made out of wax.

Ronnie Spector made Aretha Franklin look like a damn beauty queen! Ronnie is like a Jackee Harry on crack!!

Slash doesn't look bad in the face, but look at that gut! Wear a girdle! I'd still Sammy Hagar from the back.

Angelina Jolie could have her new three and a half year-old, Vietnamese son within weeks. An official confirmed that her application has been processed quickly and expected to be finished by March 31st. Once she is given approval, she may pick up her son at anytime.

The boy Angie will adopt was left a local hospital when he was an infant. He was taken to the Tam Binh orphanage on the outskirts of Ho Chi Minh City where they tried to find his parents to no avail.

Officials say that she has not received special treatment and her application is being processed quickly, because the boy is older and his files were pretty much complete.

Angie applied by herself, because laws in Vietnam make it impossible for unmarried couples to adopt.

I wonder if they have like a welcome packaged already put together for each kid. You know, sunglasses to protect them for the blinding cameras, a language dictionary so the kids and communicate with each other and a pair of Jimmy Choos from Maddox.

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Gordy: "Do I have something on my face?"
Babe: "I dont think so, but that fucking Sushi chef has his finger up our
asshole!" - SuckleOnMyLoveKnuckle

Sheryl Lee Ralph

Danny Masterson (31)
Emile Hirsch (22)
Rachael Bella (23)
Cillian Murphy (33)
Annabeth Gish (36)
Dana Delany (51)
Glenn Headley (52)
William H.Macy (57)
Charo (66)

Mario Vasquez was the frontrunner going into American Idol 2005. He dropped out right after he made the final 12. He said he dropped out for "family reasons" but later said he wanted to pursue his music career on his terms, because Idol has such a strict contract.

Well, now it looks like he may have dropped out for other reasons.

Magdaleno Olmos was an accountant for the production company of the show and he filed a lawsuit today in Los Angeles claiming Mario jacked off in front of him while Idol was in production. HOT!

Magdaleno alleges that "Vazquez stared lasciviously, smiled lasciviously and on one occasion followed him into a bathroom ... knocked on the door of the plaintiff's stall and made eye contact through the space in the stall door."

He goes on to say that Mario "started to rub his genitals over his pants. Attempting to leave the bathroom, Olmos opened the door of the stall and saw Vazquez standing in front of him with his pants down masturbating. Vasquez pushed further into the stall and continued masturbating with one hand and trying to pull down Olmos' pants with another hand. Olmos claims he tried to cover his body with his hands but Vazquez touched his chest and stomach underneath his shirt, and Olmos' "genitals" as Vazquez "attempted to unzip" Olmos' pants.

Mario asked the dude "if he wanted oral sex."

Magdaleno then managed to get out of the stall, but not before Mario grabbed his arm. Mag complained to his supervisor, but he was told that he was "crazy" and was threatened to be fired. A few months later he was fired.

Graphic. I need a ciggie and a cum rag now.

Magdaeleno is suing Mario, FOX and Freemantle. Mario denied gay rumors shortly after he left Idol.

Just look into his eyes, you know Mario loves his prostate massaged. His ass feels the tingle, you can tell.

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Angelina Jolie's visit to refugee camps in Chad and Darfur was documented for Newsweek with pictures of her visit. The pictures are beautiful, but are they staged? I mean...publicity stunt?

Lindsay Lohan recently had a stint in rehab to battle some sort of addiction. Well, on Saturday night a Dlisted friend spotted newly blonde Lindsay sneaking beers into the DJ booth at The Box and allegedly drinking them.

Up to her old tricks? Maybe it was root beer? Maybe she needed the beer bottle, so she could break it and smoke her crack off of it?

Lindsay was snapped coming out of The Box looking happy.

Law & Order is known for their "ripped from the headlines" episodes. They will be the first show to tackle the Anna Nicole Smith story. Kristy Swanson has already been cast to play the Anna-type character. They are talking to Jon Lovitz about playing the Howard K. Stern-type character. They are also developing a character based on Vergie Arthur.

Weird...... They better include Kimmie, No-teefs Shelley and Sugarpie! Beth Ditto can play Kimmie, Taryn Manning can play Shelley and Tinkerbell can gain some weight to play Sugarpie.

Kristy recently had a baby with her "Skating with Celebrities" partner Lloyd Eisler after she homewrecked his home!

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Tori Spelling and her mother, Candy Spelling, have been on the outs ever since Candy reportedly axed Tori out of her father's will. Candy was intially upset with her daughter for the way she was portrayed on Tori's now defunct show, NoTORIous.

Tori's brother, Randy Spelling said, "My sister and my mom have been communicating for the past few weeks" – and are planning to see each other soon. They are going to be there for each other and [Tori's soon-to-arrive] baby. My mom is having a grandchild, and it puts things into perspective."

Yeah basically Tori needs dough, because she's popping out a kid. I know how it works. I don't know who's fuglier? Tori or that pooch.

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