Eddie Van Halen has entered an undisclosed rehab clinic for undisclosed reasons. He issued this statement yesterday to TMZ:

I would like Van Halen fans to know how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Without you there is no Van Halen.

Love,
Ed

Eddie's rehab stint will most likely kill the planned Van Halen reunion tour which was already having problems. Eddie was due to join his former bandmates in New York on Monday for induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I really hope Eddie's at Promises, because Brit Brit needs a little Gollum dick. He totally looks like Gollum. Imagine him pounding over you...ok don't...that's enough to put you in Promises.

Wax statues are just weird, but in this case I prefer the statue. At a Daily Mail party in London they had some wax Jessica Simpson figure brought in. Weird, yes? Some dude named Ainsley Harriot seemed pretty stoked to be posing next to it and by stoked I mean he was probably bumping her in the wax hole.

Who knew Salma Hayek was engaged?! Homegirl is engaged to some fugly businessman named Francois-Henri Pinault. She has also answered to the rumors that she's pregnant by confirming that she's indeed knocked up by that French dude. The two have kept a low-profile and have only been out in public a couple of times.

Her rep said, "Businessman, François-Henri Pinault, and his fiancée, Salma Hayek, are happy to announce they are expecting the arrival of their first child."

Congrats! Let's hope the baby inherits her genes and not his. And if it's a girl let's hope she inherits her mother's BIGGEST assets!

Source

Beth Ditto from The Gossip

Bow Wow (20)
Brittany Snow (21)
Chingy (27)
Kerr Smith (35)
Emmanuel Lewis (36)
Juliette Binoche (43)
Linda Fiorentino (47)
Joyce Van Patten (73)

This has been the worst week EVER! I should've fucked more computer geeks in school, because I've had the tech week from hell. Thanks for putting up with me these past 3 days for those who did put up with my skank ass. Dlisted was finally moved over to a new software (Drupal) last night and the site was good to go. My server had already scheduled an outage Wednesday night to move everyone over to a new locale. I guess there were issues...things happen. We should've all went to Mexico this week.

Well, I owe you each a penny breakfast too. If you find a joint that serves breakfast for penny, I will pay for it. That being said, go visit my blog friends that were feeling the pain along with me yesterday:

The Bastardly
Celebitchy
Celebslam
Concrete Loop
Derek Hail
Drunken Stepfather
Egotastic!
Hollywood Tuna
Horny Oyster
ICYDK
INO
Popoholic

Now let's get to the trash talking. Some of the stuff may be a couple of days old, so just bare with me and you can roll your eyes behind my back.

xoxoxoMichael K

Doody bubble - Egotastic!

Britney Spears is sad - Popsugar

Drew Barrymore is a babydoll - Just Jared

Beyonce can give me her money then - ICYDK

Columbia want Matthew Fox to get Lost - SOW

Catherine Bell in a bikini is sort of weird - IDLYITW

Bradley wants Angie to eat - Hollywood Rag

Adriana Lima gets body painted and it's hot - Hollywood Tuna

Mischa's fugly sister in all her slut glory - Mollygood

Star Jones fugly fug ass is returning to TV! - ASL

I'm sorry, but Sanjaya needs to pack his flat iron and get the hell out of "American Idol." He sings like Michael Jackson on helium which is not a good thing. I mean I have a sinking feeling that he's going to make the Top 12 along with that piece of torn vagina lip, Antonella Barba!

I'm fine with Antonella staying, because at least I can get off from the bad looks the other girls give her...but Sanjaya needs to step already!

ACK! Finally I'm here. I'm off of Wordpress and onto Drupal! I'm praying all my troubles are gone! I even got on my hands and knees last night and asked Jesus...well anyway. Hope you enjoy and you can register to the right for a nifty picture when you comment!

Thanks for putting up with my stank ass!

xoxoxMichael K

PS - I don't know who those people are, but I liked that hotness in the middle.

Kiki Dunst is still showing her grossness in Hawaii for all the world to see. She's dressed like she's in the damn East Village. Um...can sharks crawl out of the water and walk? If so, someone throw a trout at her ass.

Source: Flynet