Britney Spears is like a terrible trainwreck where people's heads are on the floor and everything is covered in blood. I mean it disgusts me, but I can't tear myself away. Britney has said in the past that she wants to change her image, but doesn't look like she's serious. After confirming that she's no longer Isaac Cohen's main squeeze, she spent her Tuesday night in NYC partying like only Britney cab.

Brit was due to attend the Heatherette show that night, but backed out because she's scared of the press. She went to Marquee instead where she danced with her girlfriends and told everyone to "keep booze away from her." Witnesses didn't buy her act.

One said, "She must have been drinking secretly in the bathroom. Because she was falling all over the place. She was also chomping on lollipops from the bathroom all night. And she didn't leave any money for the bathroom attendant."

She arrived at Tenjune at 2:30am and again told everyone to keep alcohol away from her, yet she was seen drinking screwdrivers while dancing on tables.

She kept away from the boys until a model-type started to chat her up. She was seen making out with him later in the night. She ended her booze-filled, boy-filled night at her favorite restaurant, McDonald's.

Screwdrivers? She wasn't boozing in the bathroom! She had a date with Mr. Snow! Brit is becoming the new Lindsay Lohan, except fatter and with more chins. She probably ordered the filet o'fish at MickeyD's. She's that sick!

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I leave you with this beautiful picture of a mouse riding a frog.

xoxoxMichael K

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It's the Olsens! Yes, we know they're creepy. Yes, we know that by looking at their pictures we are probably losing a tiny bit of our souls. Yes, we know that some polyester creature died so that Ashely could have something super fug to wear. Yes, we know that MK gave herself a wonk eye. Yes, yes, yes.

Anyway, here's these two at the Jenni Kayne fashion show in NYC today.

Does Melania Trump think she's effin Anna Kareninina? Just cause you're some kind of Russian doesn't mean you're damn AK and doesn't mean that you can wear a fur hat. That being said, she looks perfect. All she's missing is a dirty martini and a bottle of downers.

Here's Mel and the Trump with Fergie (not Ferg) at Michael Kors today.

Take a moment from puking over all of Britney's pics today and vote for January's Hot Slut of the Month. I've a little political goodness in Nancy Pelosi, the only reasonable Trump in Ivanka Trump, TV Queen Shelley Long, reality show victim Shilpa Shetty and one of the smartest people in the world Audrina Partridge. Vote away!

Britney Spears has crossed the line looking like a used tampon out in NYC yesterday. I mean....this has gone far enough. What is wrong with her? I'm being serious here when I say she might have a case of adult retardation. There's such a thing, right? She has it. I think weed, KFed's baby batter and red bull has done effed up her brains. Somebody get this heffer help!

Source: BritneyHighRes

Hide your virgins! Like there's virgins in NYC? Anyway, Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe hit fashion week hard. She's done all the shows and it....shows. She's at Peter Som in this pics. Girlfriend needs to pop into Teri Snatcher's plastic surgeon's office to "NOT GET BOTOX." Deep down I love ChupaZoe and want her to force feed me meth and tell me I'm too fat to wear Lanvin.

According to Cisco Adler's rep, he has not broke up with Mischa Barton. There were earlier reports today that Mischa dumped Cisco, because of this photo that made the internet rounds last month.

Cisco says that she wasn't happy about the pic. "Mischa wasn't too excited, to say the least. I think it was actually worse for her than for me in some ways. So yeah, I'm gonna try to keep my pants on from now on."

Saggy nuts isn't alone I guess. With his saggy nuts and her cottage cheese thighs they can make a delicious low-fat waldorf salad!

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