Kylie Minogue and her boyfriend of 4 years, Olivier Martinez, have broken up. They issued a joint statement and claim that it has nothing to do with "false rumors" aka Olivier cheating on her ass with Michelle Rodriguez and some other chick.

The statement reads:

"Olivier Martinez and Kylie Minogue have officially confirmed that they are no longer a couple. They have made it clear that the decision to go their separate ways was mutual and amicable. The media's false accusations of disloyalty have saddened them both. The two remain very close friends."

Olivier is now free to "get it on" with Michelle Rodriguez. You know they aren't getting it on, she's just showing him how to ride a hog. She's totally bumping fuglies with Kristanna Loken.

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Original member David Lee Roth, 52, will return to Van Halen it was announced. Eddie Van Halen told TMZ, "It feels like a whole new beginning to be back with Dave and to be playing with my brother and my son. We look forward to going on tour."

David quit the group in 1985 and reunited with them for a few months in 1996. The band will play dates in major cities across the U.S. Eddie's son, Wolfgang Van Halen, will play bass with the group on their tour.

Here's David from today's Nicole Miller show in NYC with wannabe Paris Hilton, Natalie Reid. Not to take anything away from David Lee, but who the hell would want to be like Paris? Do you think their herpes outbreaks are on the same schedule?

Farrah Fawcett has been told she's cancer-free. This is the best 60th Birthday pressie she could ever receive. She announced that she was fighting cancer back in October.

Dr. Gary Gitnick, Fawcett's lead physician at UCLA, said the actress "has had a full and complete response to treatment" and "her prognosis is excellent."

Farrah never said what kind of cancer she was treated for, but methinks it's cause she had ass cancer. Ryan O'Neal revealed she was being treated for anal cancer.

Long live Farrah! May she continue to bring us craziness for many years to come!

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KFed isn't happy about his accomodations at the Catalina Hotel and Beach Club in Miami's South Beach. UsWeekly is reporting that his fugliness complained to the staff that his suite wasn't good enough to house all his "his women" and "his girls."

I'm sure his hos will be happy with half a bucket of chicken and cabel TV. The hotel actually listened to his stupid ass and moved him into a large penthouse at the Chesterfield across the street. KFed is in town for Super Bowl.

He's obviously not paying for that suite, since he's still wearing that same beat down, pink feather blazer!!! That thing is old and I hate looking at it still. He wrote it to Shaq's Super 60 Dinner last night.

Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have cancelled their engagement.

Their reps issued this statement: "Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette have mutually decided to end their engagement. They remain close friends and continue to have the utmost love and admiration for each other. They ask that their privacy be respected surrounding this personal matter."

They pair have been together for 4 years and engaged for 2.

See not one joke about that fug ass ho's face...that wasn't so hard.

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Happy 2-2-7!!!!! - BWE

Mandy Moore disses Nicole Richie - Just Jared

Gossip anniversaries - Cityrag

Annie Hathaway likes the kitten? - IDLYITW

Paris Hilton IS NOT funny - Mollygood

Justin is a lucky kid - Hollywood Tuna

Zulema from Project Runway and Tim Gunn aren't exactly BFFs - Gawker

Hilary Mufface's new single - Popbytes

Why can't the paps leave Brangelina alone for like a day? - ASL

Liz Hurley slips a nip - Egotastic!

Vanessa Manillafolders continues to be a jealous bitch - Popsugar

Angelina's plans for her mother's ashes - Hollywood Rag

Dear Mena Suvari,

It truly pains me to write this. Ever since we locked eyes during "The Rage: Carrie 2" I've known we were soulmates. We've been through good times ("American Beauty") and bad times ("Loser") together. Unfortunately, the time has come for me to let go. You went from being a beautiful angel to looking like a Garbage Pail Kid come to life. I know it's Mercedes-Benz fashion week and you wanted to look extra "fashioney" for the premiere party last night, but I'm afraid this is even too much for me to bare. I have defended you in the past, but now I will most likely agree with the GoFugYourself girls when they rip your hideous bangs to pieces.

We'll always have "The Rage."

xoxoxoMichael K

NO! Not that kind of pussy! Get your mind out of the tuna can. I think I've found a girlfriend for Hercules! I really hope he's a rice queen, because this fat ho hails from China! She's super famous there and known as "SUPER FAT CAT." She puts Hercules to shame with 37-pounds on her frame.

Her owner feeds her one steamed roll and half a bowl of chicken hearts each day, polished off with a side order of pork. He says her diet makes her extremely grouchy.

She's probably grouchy, because she has a 34-inch waist! This fat pussy is so fat that she can't lower her head to eat from her bowl. SOMEONE CALL JENNY! Actually, I know why he's fattening her ass up! I know how they roll it in China.

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Thanks Jacki

UPDATE - The ho behind the smile is after the jump. Congrats to darknesa for being the first to get it right.

MASI OKA from Heroes

Here's a pretty stupid video of Britney Spears at a gas station before going to Las Vegas. Homegirl has to poop really bad. Ok, maybe she has to pee.....through her ass! The paps are nice people offering to pump her gas for her :)

Source: CP