Katie Holmes is in paris with BFF, Posh Beckham, to attend the Haute Couture shows. I'm just going to say it quick, so it doesn't hurt as much. She looks good. There I said it. I said it and I feel ashamed.

Last November, a trusty Dlisted reader spotted Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams applying for a marriage license in Brooklyn. Their rep later denied they were planning to get married. The marriage rumors have heated up after Heath was spotted wearing a wedding ring. Michelle was also spotted with a bauble on her wedding finger.

The couple live in Brooklyn and have a 1-year-old daughter together. Their rep has not yet confirmed or denied the story.

Yeah, that's basically it. Exciting, right? So what's for lunch?

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Tom Cruise has been labeled the "Chris" of Scientology by leaders of the cult religion. They believe Tom is the one to spread the word about their crazy alien worshipping. He's been a member for almost 20 years and leader David Miscavige believes Tom will be worshipped like Jesus for his teachings.

A source said, “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realize he was right.”

If Tom Cruise is Jesus Christ does that make Katie Holmes Mary Magadalene? Well, she is a whore. Let's go with this whole Tom is Jesus thing. I'll grab the nails, you grab the cross. Wait, the wooden cross isn't good enough for Tom. Someone ask Madge if we can borrow her disco ball cross. That seems just right for the Cruise.

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Thanks Rikki

WTF is Tara Reid doing? Who is she doing? - Hollyscoop

Beyonce wants to design cheerleader costumes - ICYDK

Tom Cruise has "The Eye" for Jessica Alba - SOW

Kristie Alley is looking to Oprah's main fat burner to help her lose more weight - Gabsmash

Peta once again tries to sabatoge JLO - INO

Sly Stallone kept his dick in his pants for Rocky Balboa. He still has a dick? - CelebSlam

Jared Leto is at Sundance to promote his John Lennon film, Chapter 27. Witnesses in Sundance say that Jared isn't being a good boy and actually is acting like a straight-up grouch.

Page Six reports:

When a photographer from WireImage attempted to snap Leto's picture, the eyeliner- clad cad shouted, "No! No more, bro!" Leto walked out - but not before a "big guy" yanked at his long tresses. Leto "whipped off his hat with earflaps on and stepped up to the guy," said a spy. "They were yelling at each other." But no punches were thrown. And though Leto left, he came back a couple hours later to look for the guy. (Leto's rep didn't return calls.)

Soooo Emo! Methinks Jared is trying to look as unattractive as possible. I wouldn't hit that with Paris Hilton's vag lips.

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Jade Goody on her racist remarks against Shilpa Shetty on UK's Celebrity Big Brother:

"I was nasty and ugly"

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Porn stars, Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton have been approached to guest star in a reality show where they will teach virgins how to do it. The show called "Virgin Territory" follows virgins as they learn everything they need to know about sex and ultimately get their cherry popped. The show is produced by Kevin Blatt who also brought us Paris' nasty-ass sex tape.

Kevin has approached Jenna and Paris to teach the virgins how to do it. Ok, Jenna fine. Jenna knows how to get effed and is probably good at it. Paris sucks at sex and we've seen first hand. She makes dead fish look like....oh what am I saying she is a dead fish!

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Last Friday, a rumor circulated that James Franco was the main reason Lindsay Lohan hit rock bottom and checked herself into rehab. The report said that James turned down her advances and Lindsay took it to heart and to the bottle.

James is currently doing the rounds at Sundance and was asked by Access Hollywood what he has to say about the whole Lindsay in Wonderland thing. He said, "We are friends. I hope she gets better."

He was asked if he was going to visit her and he kind of giggled and said "um...no."

It's a slooooowww news day, can you tell?

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Rosie O'Donnell has moved on from Donald Trump and Simon Cowell and is now setting her sights on Oprah Winfrey. Rosie attacked The Big O for interviewing kidnap victim, Shawn Hornbeck. Rosie felt that by having the 15-year-old on her show, Oprah was exploiting him. Rosie wrote on her blog:

"after 4 years captive
a new haircut couldn't hide
his tormented eyes"

"ben
will not be appearing
on tv today
a moment of sanity"

Sources close to Oprah say that she won't be responding to Rosie's opinion. She doesn't believe in public spats and is way too good for any of that. Ok, this is a case where the media is blowing something up into nothing. Rosie has her opinion and Oprah doesn't care, cause she's richer than all of us put together. She can buy things to hide the pain.

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Jessica Simpson and John Mayer reunited in Miami, two weeks after they went public in New York City. The two started their Monday by working out and doing yoga together at a local gym. That night they shared a bottle of water and sushi at Nobu.

A witness said, "They were talking and laughing the whole time. She was constantly fixing herself to make sure she looked her best for him."

John is in Florida to perform a string of concerts.

She looks like a tard and he looks like he'd rather be boning the cameraman! Actually, they sort of make a cute couple. I said sort of. I'm they love each other and the blind item about him is a falsity.

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