Jennifer Garner has said in the past that she couldn't even look at herself after giving birth to Violet Affleck, because she thought she looked like a fat ass! She's also saying that she refused to do a scene in a bikini for her new movie Catch and Release, because she didn't want to subject viewers to her fatness.

She said, "It got a little ridiculous and I got on the treadmill and I lost weight. It's that simple. I stopped stuffing my face and I started running and lost weight. I cut out bagels and croissants and muffins and all the good stuff and went back to having a salad once a day with some protein. I can't do a crash diet. I know that if I do that I'll just gain more back... There were actually a couple of bikini scenes in 'Catch & Release,' where I said, 'I can't get ready for a bikini that quickly; take it out.'"

Isn't that what post-production is for? Furthermore, she really hates herself doesn't she know? I know at least 20 girls that would kill their unborn children to look like that.

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Yes folks, this is as exciting as it gets on the MLK day. She looks like a little, evil elf guarding the bridge to the fantasy kingdom. She pumps her own gas? I'm actually surprised she doesn't have to lift the gas gun with both hands!

PS - Isn't her license suspended?

Source: Celebrity Puke

When Angelina Jolie signed a multi-million dollar contract with St. John, she also agreed to only wear their clothes to events. Poor thing. Not surprisingly, she's having a hard time picking out a dress for tonight's Golden Globes. St. Angelina is apparently not happy with the choices that the design house has given her.

A source said that Angelina has been "less than ecstatic with the clothes as of late," and, "the St. John team has been working overtime to make her happy. She is definitely very particular."

Can you blame her? Those clothes are for the elderly. Seriously, those frocks were made for Susan Lucci not Angelina. I hope she's getting paid BANK to wear that trash!

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Why did David Gest sing a duet with Jason Donovan at G-A-Y club in London? I think I might have just answered my own question. David is seriously into this love duet and even gets on his knees to take in Jason's dick all the emotion around him. Jason should win an Oscar for looking into David's eyes without turning to stone.

Posh Beckham's husband might have just signed a contract to play soccer in Los Angeles for millions upon millions, but homegirl is still rockin' that tired coat. She showed off her monster fur while house hunting in Los Angeles this past weekend. This jacket is like her favorite, she's worn it several times. To think that a poor, stuffed gorilla had to give his life for this! Homegirl should also make a stop at Taco Bell before heading back to her hotel. Hmm....Taco Bell. Pintos and Cheese!!!

Ever since the birth of her daughter and the death of her son, Anna Nicole Smith and her skeevy boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, have been exploiting their "sadness" for financial gain. They sold everything from their baby pictures to their "commitment ceremony" pictures to even video of Anna giving birth. It's no surprise that Anna is currently shopping around more pics of her baby to the tabs so she can have enough money to buy a home in the Bahamas.

A source said, “After she sold footage and photos of the birth to a TV show, she starting seeing that child as a cash cow. Howard K. Stern takes the pictures and they sell them to the highest bidder.”

Anna still hasn't seen any cash from her dead husband's fortune. Um...but haven't we already seen pictures of Dani Hope? She needs to bump it a bit by selling Dani herself! Seriously, who wouldn't want to own a real-life celebrity baby? I'm not even joking, you know she's going to do it.

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Gift suites are popping up all over Los Angeles for the Golden Globes today even though the awards aren't having goody bags due to the IRS wanting a piece. Gift suites bring out the crazies looking for some free loot. Janice Dickinson was just another d-lister looking for some free stuff to probably sell on eBay so she could pay her rent, but she was kicked out! Janice started writing on posters advertising the products. She started signing her name on them and writing bad things about Andy Dick.

While she was being escorted out she was heard saying, "Please don't take away my swag - it wasn't my fault!"

God this is lame. It's going to be a slooooowwww day I can feel it. Happy MLK!!!

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Britney Spears and Isaac Cohen took their love affair on vacation this past weekend. The two visited the $40,000 Playboy suite at the Palms casino in Las Vegas. The two-story suite features a Jacuzzi pool, a glass elevator, an 8-ft. rotating bed and a full bar. The couple partied at gay club, 8 1/2 for a little bit before retreating to their love nest in the sky.

Brit was recently in Vegas where she "fell asleep" on New Year's Eve. Witnesses say the two looked happy as ever.

Of course he's happy! He's with a known love idiot! I mean if Brit is dickmatized by you she will buy you anything and everything. Homeboy better milk that (sorry for the pun) for all it's worth!

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Well, Joe’s friends were half right when they said he didn’t have the balls to do it… - Sweetas

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Shelley Long