Posh Beckham braved the cold weather in London for some last minute Christmas shopping yesterday. I don't think she felt anything, because her nipples are made out of plastic. Seriously, they are like not real. I could probably shoot them with a paintball gun and she wouldn't feel a thing. I mean I could probably let a alley cat chew the things off and she wouldn't feel anything. I could probably tell Tom Cruise that it's Jude Law's dick and he'd suck them right off and she would feel anything...well you get it.

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Awww....DJ AM misses a little fame - CW

Zhang Ziyi and Sarah Michelle Gellar join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie - Daily Dumpling

Miss Nevada speaks...sort of - SOW

Is that Donald Trump still yapping? - People

Vintage pictures of Melanie Trump all nekkid - Mollygood

The Catholic League for Religious & Civil Rights are blasting The Weinstein Company for releasing the horror film Black Christmas on Jesus' birthday. The slasher film is your run of the mill horror movie about some crazy who murders girls during the holidays.

The President of the Catholics said,, "Even in Hollywood, a town where bashing Christians is sport and Catholics are the target of choice, the Weinsteins stand out. It is not uncommon for theaters to host dark comedies or tearjerkers . . . but when it comes to blood-and-gore flicks, they never open on Christmas Day - unless, of course, the men behind the movie are Harvey and Bob Weinstein."

Please, you know he's gonna go see it with his boyfriend and they are going to 69 in the back row. Get over it. Don't they have bigger things to do like plan for Jesus' birthday? I mean, who is going to rent out the donkeys for the pageant? There are things to do. Black Christmas looks awful anyway.

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Melanie Brown aka Scary Spice has hired a top Hollywood lawyer in her battle against Eddie Murphy. Mel claims that Eddie is the father of her baby, a claim he denies. Melanie found out that Eddie didn't believe that was baby and wasn't dating her anymore when he told a Dutch reporter. Mel has hired Don Engel to help her get as much money out of Eddie as she can.

Sources say that Melanie is looking to get around $30 million from Eddie. Expect this to be a fight, because he has already demanded a DNA test once the baby is born.

A friend close to Scary said, "Mel is refusing to lie down and let Eddie walk all over her - and this is reflected in her choice of lawyer. She wants to hit him where it hurts... in the pocket and they don't come much better than Don."

MAURY! Homegirl could save a lot of dough if she just turns to Maury. He solves all problems when it comes to the paternity of a child. I personally think Larry Birkhead is the baby daddy.

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The Sun caught Nicole Richie chowing down on a big burger at Johnny Rockets in Los Angeles. Well, she could've just started to go for it and then siked everyone out and headed for her Diet Coke instead. You know I'm looking at this picture and wondering why I'm fascinated watching a girl eat a hamburger. Who cares? I mean it's gross and she's gonna yack it up anyway. Just joking! She doesn't have an eating disorder. She loves to eat hamburgers day and night!

OMG!!!! This is the best. Some guy calls into Star Jones on the radio and starts talking to normal to her and blah blah and then out of nowhere he says "Star how fat are you and is your husband gay?" Why couldn't that of been me? I'm jealous. She basically tells the dude how he's ignorant and how he can't get into the schools her husband has been to and can't carry her briefcase. What does her briefcase have to do with it? Does she carry ham hocks up in there? Is that why it's easy? And the only school Gay Al went to see the University of Taking it Up the Ass!

Click here if you can't see the video above.

Thanks Clint

A judge ordered Anna Nicole Smith to bring her crazy ass to California to submit her daughter, Danielynn Hope, to a DNA test. Larry Birkhead claims he is the correct baby daddy and wants a paternity test. Anna Nicole Smith has said that her crackhead lawyer, Howard K. Stern is the baby's father.

Larry said, “Christmas has come early, and I thank God that I will soon have the opportunity to prove that I am the father ... and eventually hold her in my arms."

It is unclear whether or not Anna is in the States. She was in San Francisco last week to try and collect from her dead husband's estate, but she may have returned to the Bahamas. I'm sure Anna and Howard will somehow make this a public media event in order to get paid. She's going to go to The Insider and show Danielynn getting tested and cry and cry and make slurred statements. I kind of wish Larry's the father, so I can watch Anna lose it. I mean she would throw herself into the ocean and try and feed herself to the whales.

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Dear Britney,

Please get that tired, beat, fug, nasty, wet, creamy, sausage style weave out of your head pronto!

Love,
Michael K

Britney Spears and crew made it another special night out and she was holding what appeared to be like new music from her. I doubt it, stupid ass is too busy partying to make music. It's probably the KFed CD. She jacks to it.

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Maybe he's a grower! Jake Gyllenhaal showed off his little (literally) friend while biking through California. He really should stuff when wearing spandex.

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This kind of makes me sad. Kitson is a piece of trash store and what is Angelina Jolie doing there? Was she picking up TEAM ANISTON shirts? Most likely. They make perfect gag gifts for Christmas. Ugh, if she starts going to Hyde I'm over her!

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