Britney Spears brought her 16-year-old sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, to a Hollywood tat parlor late the other night. Brit looks like she was washed in a tub of lard and deep fried in a batter of pig fat. Seriously, she looked like hell. It's unclear if Brit bought her younger sister a little ink, but Brit couldn't help it and picked some up for herself. I wonder what kind of tat she got? Probably something lame like "Hot Mama" or "Dirty Puss" or "Single & Lovin' It!"
Unfortunately, this wasn't the case. Britney was having her matching dice tat she shared with KFed on her wrist changed. What can you make out of two dice? Bull nuts? Yeah, that's what she had them changed to.
I'm surprised to hear that Martha Stewart used to date Anthony Hopkins. Am I like the only one that hasn't heard this caca before? Well, during an interview with Howard Stern she said that she had to break things off with Anthony, because she couldn't stop thinking of Hannibal Lecter when she looked at him.
She said, "I would have probably had a very nice relationship with Anthony Hopkins, but I couldn't get past the Lecter thing. Oh, I loved him, but he was... scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine; I have this beautiful home in Maine... but then I reconsidered because I saw that movie again. Do you want someone eating your brain while you are sitting in your beautiful dining room in Maine?"
What a stupid stupid bitch! She should be lucky anyone would want to go muff diving on her. She's a frigid ho. I mean she could've had some real funny. She should've dressed her snatched up with fava beans and had him eat them out. I mean that's romance.
It gets worse. Not only are people making a musical version of the Madonna film Desperately Seeking Susan, but they are setting it to the music of Blondie. WTF?! The musical will open next year in the West End of London. Debbie or Deborah Harrry will also write a new song for the musical.
The story centers on Roberta Glass, a bored New Jersey housewife who seeks adventure through her obsession with personal ads and the mysterious Susan, a street-smart East Village drifter. When Roberta suffers a bad case of amnesia, she and Susan unexpectedly swap lives and are plunged into a world of jewel heists, magic shows and rock ‘n' roll. The collision of Roberta and Susan's identities takes them on a wild journey of mystery, self-awareness, and true love—with both women discovering that you never know where your life is going, until something magical happens. The film, written by Leora Barish and directed by Susan Seidelman, marked the big screen debut of Madonna, who played the role of Susan. Rosanna Arquette co-starred as Roberta.
Let's hope they put the nail in the coffin by casting Madonna. I mean...seeing her play 20 would be a revelation. I mean...this is probably going to be so bad it's going to be good. I like to know when they come up with these ideas. Methinks they come up with them after a long night of coke binging and stripper hunting. Desperately Seeking Susan set to Blondie?!? This is the devil's work!
What bridesmaid had to die in order for Beyonce to wear this thing on TRL yesterday? I mean doesn't this ho and her mother fancy themselves like fashion icons of the universe? Tina Knowles and House of Derriere really missed the mark on this one. It's honestly like something a bridesmaid would be forced to wear at a Space themed wedding in 1983.
You don't fool me Tara Reid. One minute your ass is falling down drunk in London and the next minute you're trying to be some effin Ava Gardner type at a movie premiere. I mean the movie premiere is Black Christmas not like Casablanca or anything. Stupid ass. Yes, she looks pretty but next week she'll be caught doing nut shots off some frat dudes.
Is Scarlett Johansson hitting this again? I hope not. ScarJo and Josh Hartnett reportedly broke off their relationship due to crazy schedules and such. Josh Hartnett started dating some other ho right away and it looked over for the pair. Well, they might be knocking the boots again. At The Children of Men premiere the other night in NYC Josh spent all night texting away and sources say it was Scarlett. They were also seen "canoodling" at a Tribeca Restaurant.
A source said, "They had a meal and got progressively cozier as the night went on. Then they started to make out in full view of the restaurant at their table and didn't really care who saw."
Ugh...ok if she's gonna get back together with him she really needs to send him to Ken Paves. That part kills me. He looks like a member of Ducktales.
Eminem's SECOND divorce to Kim Mathers has been finalized. The couple will share custody of their 11-year-old daughter, Haylie, and have reached a custody settlement. Kim was seeking spousal support and attorney fees and it is unclear what she received, but come on..you know she got some dough.
The couple first married in 1999, divorced in 2001 then remarried in January only to separate 3 months later. Kim has had a drug problem in the past and is apparently clean now.
They are a couple of drama queens. They will be back together by Christmastimes for a New Year's wedding, mark my words. On a different note, is it just me or does she look like Chynna?
Jack Nicholson's on-and-off girlfriend has finally moved on from him and married some dude. Lara Flynn Boyle and Donald Ray Thomas married this past Sunday in San Antonio, TX. They married in Donald's backyard and spent their honeymoon at a nearby hotel. Is Donald broke?
A source said, "They were very nice and seemed so thrilled to be married. They kept talking about how they were over the moon and were in bliss. She was beaming and he was full of energy, kept going on and on about how happy he was. She said she was going back to Los Angeles but that she was going to eventually move to San Antonio to be with her husband and then commute to L.A. when she needed to for work."
The pair didn't have wedding rings ready and it is unknown how long they have known each other for. Who is Donald Ray? Did she meet him at a truck stop? I wouldn't put it past her ass. At least she's free and clear of Jack now. Remember when she dated David Spade?
UPDATE - Thanks to one of my trusty readers I've found out that DRay is some sort of real estate mogul.
First of all, what the hell is Smooth magazine? Methinks CoCo invented this magazine so she could finally get a cover shot. Well, it was worth it. Homegirl has an ass like Delishis from Flavor of Love and isn't afraid to show it. I really need to believe her ass is real, because it grosses me out to think of two plastic pouches up in there. She also talks about having a sexy time toy she calls "Jack Black." Let's be real, that's what Ice-T calls HER dick. She is still perfection and the most elegant woman in America and this magazine shoot could easily go in an issue of Vogue Magazine or even Architectual Digest.
Images Source: Bossip
America's Next Top Model winner, Caridee, won herself a four-page spread in Seventeen and the cover. Here it is. You know when I heard about this prize I really thought Tyra was going to share the cover with her or push herself into the cover. She has a tendency to make everything "Tyra Time!" Anyway, the cover is aiight, but her teefs look like chiclets.