You know you’re obese when you have to strap a queen size Sealy to your crotch during your period - Grinchette

Runner-ups:

Ching chong ching chong Dan Devito ching chong - Elo

Jeez, give it a freaking break, can’t you see it’s trying to workout by touching it’s toes? - Christine the Hoff

Image Source

Jodie from The Bad Girl's Club

Brad Pitt (43)
Christina Aguilera (26)
Katie Holmes (28)
DMX (36)
Casper Van Dien (38)
Stone Cold Steve Austin (42)
Ray Liotta (51)
Leonard Maltin (56)
Steven Spielberg (60)
Keith Richards (63)

Nicole Scherzinger of The Pussycat Dolls at the Z100 Jingle Ball in NYC on December 15th and RuPaul. I'm sure Nicole is her stage name. I bet you if you shout "Nick" she'll answer to it.

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29-year-old Australian Carmel Sloane has taken legal action against Mel Gibson to force him to a DNA test. Carmel believes that Mel Gibson is her father. She claims Mel slammed her mother 30 years ago in the back of his car before he became famous. Carmel also believes her 10-year-old son looks just like Mel.

She said, "I'm not doing it for his money. I just want to meet the man I've always known was my dad — and for him to get to know his grandson."

Mel will have to either admit he's daddy or take a DNA test. Carmel's ho of a mother admits that she met Mel on the side of the road and let him dick wrestle her bagina. She said that she never heard from him again, but hasn't forgotten him.

She said, "Eventually he persuaded me to join him in the back. I told him, ‘If anything happens and I get pregnant I'll come looking for you'. He replied, ‘I am going to be famous. You will always know where to find me.'

I can hear this dumb ass say "I'm not doing it for the money." Please, so why would you care? Why in the World would you admit that a piece of trash like Mel Gibson is your father? I would do anything to hide that fact, but of course I'd hit him up for some dough on the down low. Why bother with a DNA test? They just need to show Carmel a yarmluke and if she runs for dear life then yeah...she's Mel's kid.

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I know the poster for Hostel II was probably made with beef cutlets, but it still looks nasty. The second film doesn't hit theaters until June 2007.

PS - Commenters are mentioning it looks like Parasite's beef curtains. Actually, I think it's Blohan and Parasite bumping pork chops.

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Does a human made out of lard and sweat have to do with the break-up of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears? Sources say that Paris became jealous that Britney was becoming so close to Brandon Davis. Apparently, Paris has told all her friends to push Britney out of their circle.

A source said, “Paris is very protective over her men and she didn’t want Britney getting too close.”

That source was most likely Fat Elvis himself. Here's some pics of Brit Brit going out the other night. She still needs a bath and a new colorist.

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Age: 43
Birthday: March 5, 1963
Birth Name: Joel Scott Osteen

Original Date of HS of the Day: December 14, 2006
Claim to Fame: Head pastor of the Lakewood Church in Houston, TX and is the most famous televangelist today. His church holds 35,000 people.

Where is he now? Recently featured as one of the Barbara Walter's most 10 Fascinating People.
Why is he HS of the Week? I mean he asks Jesus to give people bonuses and raises and that's my kind of pastor. His wife is also one of the hottest women in the world...well if the world was still in 1983.

Did Renee Zellweger wrestle a black bear for the last pot of honey and fall down an embakement while on her way to the Miss Potter screening? Yeah, I think so too.

Source: Goldenfiddle

Gabsmash is reporting that Life & Style has published reports that the honeymoon is over between Christina Aguilera and her husband of one year, Jordan Bratman. Xtina and Jordan have longed been known as one of the most stable and drama-free couples in Hollywood. The celeb weekly may just be starting trash just to start it. They are reporting that while Xtina is touring, Jordan has been partying it up in Hollyweird without his wedding ring.

A source said, "On December 6, Christina left Hotel Plaza Athenee in Paris without her ring, she looked upset. Over the course of three nights, Jordon did the club scene with friends- also without his ring. He was looking sad and distressed."

Their spokeswhores deny any rift between the couple. I think this is just a stupid rumor. They look in love and Jordan has basically landed himself a diamond. Look at his ass! He's fug as hell and should be lucky to have the hotness that is Xtina. He probably has a big dick, big and veiny. Eww, I grossed myself out.