Gwen Stefani

Seeing all these knocked up broads makes my sausage, egg and cheese bloat feel like a baby. I should piss on an e.p.t. just to be safe. Anyway, here's tons of pictures of walking baby ovens from the past couple of days. Well, Nicole Kidman is more like a pillow oven. She probably stores a week supply of botox in her pillow bump just in case she gets stranded somewhere. I kid, I kid. I'm sure her baby will come out with a permanent surprised look on its face and frosted tips and then we'll know it's their baby.

Nicky and Keith's kiss in the third thumbnail below is all sorts of awkward. She's blowing, he's sucking.

The baby ovens below are: Nicky, Tori Smelly, Gwen Stefani and Camilla Alves.

Two very different knocked up ladies were out and about with their families yesterday. One is probably going to pop out a furry litter of 6 and the other one needs to stop doing this pregnancy thing, so she can work on the new No Doubt album. Come on Gwennie. I need a sequel to "Don't Speak" called "I Really Mean It. STFU!" She promised.

I also have a disgusting confession to make. I actually spent money on Tori Smelly's book. I couldn't fucking help it. The back of the book featured a picture of Mimi La Rue asking me to "buy this book." I can't say no to Mimi.

Put that boy down, Gwen! He doesn't like being shown off like that. He's not your toy! He wants to frolic through the fields picking flowers.

Here's Gwen wearing one of Morticia Addams' old ones while having din din with her hot husband and her family in Hollywood yesterday.

What the hell happened to the No Doubt reunion?! I was looking forward to that shit and then Gwen goes and gets herself knocked up. She announced, I thought it was going to happen and BAM! Nothing. The only way she can redeem herself is if she names her baby "Queenston" even if it's a boy. She has a King! She needs a Queen now.

The Sun claims Gwen Stefani is 13 weeks knocked up with her second kid. A source said, “They found out at California’s Cedars-Sinai hospital and couldn’t wait to share the news with everyone.”

Gwen and Gavin Rossdale's son, Kingston, is one years-old.

Ladies out there (and some men), just relax. You're going to get pregnant. It's hitting the celebrities first and then it's going to hit you. You can't escape it. You can stop drinking the water, start wearing a mask, start drinking tons of Emergen-C and it will still hit you.

I can't wait to see who gets knocked up next! I'm going to take a gamble and say...hmmm...Britney Spears. It just seems right and then the human race should be destroyed. It's been a great run!

UPDATE: Gwen's rep confirms it! Bitch is knocked up!

People actually feed ducks? I thought that was just in the movies. Photo-op! Just kidding. Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale and Kingston spent the day feeding ducks. Boring. This is why I don't have kids, because I'd set him in front of the TV and go about my business. You would never see me feeding ducks.

Gwen's shoes look deadly. Beauty is pain I guess, but you know her feet are probably gnarly.

Splash