Eva LongWHORIA
Wednesday, July 11th 2007
Eva's Baby Ban
Desperate Housewives executive producer, Marc Cherry, has reportedly banned Eva Longoria from having babies for at least a year, because he thinks she'll make a terrible mother. NO, according to reports Marc hasn't written a pregnancy into the DH storyline.
Eva told OK! Magazine that she's ok with the ban. "We're fine with that. We want to spend some time with each other, even though we want kids very much."
Well sweetie, kids don't want you! Eva and Tony Parker are currently in OK! showing off what $2 million bought the magazine.
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Monday, July 9th 2007
Another Honeymoon
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are back in the US and this time as a married couple. The two have returned from France following a lengthy wedding that lasted a couple of weeks. It's not back to work for these two either. They are set to honeymoon in a "super secret location." Didn't they have a honeymoon before the wedding. Lucky asses.
Yeah, a "secret location" that Eva will no doubt leak to the paps! She also showed off her ring filled with 107 diamonds. Still looks like CZ on her!
Source: Daily Mail
Saturday, July 7th 2007
It's Finally Over!
After a million months of hearing about it, Eva Longoria's huge wedding to Tony Parker is finally over! The pair married for the second time this week in front of 250 guests at the Church of Saint Germain l'Auxerrois in France.
Eva wore wore a couture Angel Sanchez mermaid gown made of silk wool, with silk gazar metallic embroidery, a scoop back and a long train. Yeah, snoozeville. I hope they made a chiffon muzzle, because chick likes to talk.
Guests included Felicity Huffman, Nicollette Sheridan, Felicity Huffman, Teri Hatcher, Sheryl Crow and Jessica Alba. After the ceremony guests headed for a fancy castle outside of Paris for some grub.
Guests were also asked to hand over all cell phones and cameras before entering. Eva and Tony have a signed a strict deal with OK! Magazine for the exclusive photos for a whopping $2 million.
I would've snuck a camera in my poop shoot and taken pictures of her just to foil her plan! If pictures of Eva in her gown leaks before the magazine comes out, she's screwed!
Nicollette looks way hot. Probably hotter than the bride. What a bitch!
Friday, July 6th 2007
Costume Jewelry
Two Eva LongWHORIA posts in one day is gross, but I had to comment on that hideous necklace she wore to her civil ceremony today in France. I wrote earlier that she married Tony Parker today and will marry him again on 7/7/07 in a much more lavish ceremony.
Anyway, who picked out that hideous thing! It totally came from the Joan Rivers collection from QVC. I mean she had two main gays with her, Paves and Robert Verdi. Couldn't one of them have told her it looked tacky with that Chanel dress? What am I talking about? They probably picked it out.
Friday, July 6th 2007
Eva Longoria Is Married
Eva Longoria married Tony Parker today in a civil ceremony in France. Eva was married by the Mayor of Paris. Their big blow-out wedding is tomorrow. French law states that you must get married at city hall before marrying elsewhere.
The stars began to arrive in France yesterday for this big occasion. Teri Snatcher, Felicity Huffman, Mario Lopez, Jessica Alba, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Sheryl Crow are all expected to attend the wedding.
They'll be divorced by next year. I know I'm a bitter gay, but it's true! At least they are getting paid! Eva and Tony will pocket a reported $2 million for the exclusive rights to their wedding photos.
Monday, June 25th 2007
Not Even Worth $2
OK! Magazine has won the bid to publish exclusive photographs of Eva LongWHORIA's wedding to Tony Parker in France next month. They have reportedly dropped $2 million on that piece of trash ceremony.
The EIC would not confirm the amount, but said “These were obviously highly coveted photos, and we were thrilled to negotiate the exclusive rights."
2 fucking million dollars? Is that a record? Most people don't even know who the hell they are! OK! Magazine seriously got served.
Thursday, May 10th 2007
No Sex for Eva
Eva LongWHORIA is currently in Paris making arrangements for her upcoming wedding to Tony Parker. He's like French or something that's why they are getting hitched in France. They will wed on July 7th and Eva has ordered a no-sex rule until they are legal.
She said, "Luckily, we're getting married after the play-offs and then we need to consummate the marriage. I scheduled it that way." Consummate? Who the hell uses that word anymore.
Upon hearing this news Tony said, "PHEW!!!! Can we keep that rule even after we're married?"
Source: EL - Images: SplashNewsOnline
Monday, March 19th 2007
Eva's New Hair
Did Eva LongWHORIA cut her hair or tuck it under a wig? I kind of don't get it. There's like weird layers and crap. She's still a dumb ho!!!! Anyway, here she is at a Bebe fashion show this past weekend in Los Angeles.
Friday, March 16th 2007
She's Like Two Feet Tall
Gossip is so bleak right now that I'm forced to post fugly pictures of Eva LongWHORIA delivering gifts to Marcia Cross' twins. Eva should've waited until tomorrow and dressed all in green. She could be their Latin leprechaun!
This goes to show you that ANYONE can look hot with make-up and airbrushing.
Friday, March 16th 2007
Eva's Dude Shouldn't Quit His Day Job
Tony Parker is a basketball player and needs to keep it that way. I guess he's going the "Shaq-route" in France by releasing a rap album. This is the first single and I'm urging you not to play it. Yes, I posted it...but do yourself and a favor and don't start your Friday off with this crap!
Thanks ccdavila
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