Award Shows

 

I wanted to an Emmy post on the worst dressed hos, but they are all so damn boring! They all wear the same tired dress with the same "wind swept" hair. That's why I have to thank Ellen Pompeo for bringing on the fug. I can always count on her. Doesn't she looks like Rachel Zoe's little sister?

 

I'm serious when I say this is after morning jizz hair. It looks like she got freaky last night, got group bukkake all over her hair, slept in it and then came to the Emmys.

 

Jizz is the new Aquanet.

 

 

 

 

I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when Dr. Dre took the stage at the VMAs last night. When did he get so.....buff? Weird! It looks like he's wearing one of those inflatable muscle costumes underneath. That being said, I'd definitely let him do naked push-ups on me.

 

 

 

 

 

Kanye West has reportedly said he will never EVER come back to MTV after he lost all 5 of his awards last night. Kanye was already pissed off, because Britney Spears was chosen to open the show and not him. He grew even more upset during the night, because he didn't even perform on the mainstage.

 

A source said, "He started asking anyone who'd listen why he wasn't allowed to perform on the main stage. 'Why did I perform in just a suite?"

And on losing big-time Kanye reportedly said, "That's two years in a row, man ... I'm trying hard, man, I have the ... #1 record, man."

 

It's an MTV Award not a damn Grammy! Kanye has serious issues. He probably still sucks him thumb at night, because bitch is a damn baby. Hell, he probably still gets breast fed!  

 

 

 

 

Justin Timberlake led the MTV Video Music Whatever nominations today. Justin was tied with Beyonce for 7 nominations total, followed by Kanye, Rihanna and Amy WINO.

 

The show will be broadcast live on MTV of course on September 9th at 9 from Las Vegas.

 

Justin, Rihanna, Amy WINO and Lily Allen will perform with a bunch of other people. Here's a partial list of nominees:

Video of the Year
» Amy Winehouse: "Rehab"
» Beyoncé: "Irreplaceable"
» Justice: "D.A.N.C.E."
» Justin Timberlake: "What Goes Around ... "
» Kanye West: "Stronger"
» Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z): "Umbrella"

Male Artist of the Year
» Akon: "Don't Matter," "I Wanna Love You" (featuring Snoop Dogg), "Smack That" (featuring Eminem)
» Kanye West: "Can't Tell Me Nothing," "Stronger," "Classic (Better Than I've Ever Been" — DJ Premier remix, featuring Nas, KRS-One and Rakim)
» Justin Timberlake: "Let Me Talk To You/ My Love," "SexyBack" (featuring Timbaland), "What Goes Around ... "
» T.I.: "Big Things Poppin' (Do It)," "You Know What It Is" (featuring Wyclef Jean), "What You Know"
» Robin Thicke: "Can U Believe," "Lost Without U," "Wanna Love You Girl" (remix, featuring Busta Rhymes and Pharrell)

Female Artist of the Year
» Amy Winehouse: "Rehab," "You Know I'm No Good"
» Beyoncé: "Irreplaceable," "Beautiful Liar" (featuring Shakira)
» Fergie: "Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)," "Glamorous" (featuring Ludacris), "Fergalicious" (featuring Will.I.Am)
» Nelly Furtado: "Maneater," "Say It Right"
» Rihanna: "Umbrella" (featuring Jay-Z)

Best New Artist
» Amy Winehouse: "Rehab," "You Know I'm No Good"
» Carrie Underwood: "Before He Cheats"
» Gym Class Heroes: "Clothes Off," "Cupid's Chokehold/ Breakfast in America"
» Lily Allen: "Alfie," "Smile," "LDN"
» Peter Bjorn and John: "Young Folks"

 

Click here to see the entire list. I'm still surprised they do this shit. It feels so 80s to me. Justice better win video of the year. That shit is awesome.

 

I also hope Justin shaves that pubic hair beard (I'm not talking about Biel) by then.

 

 

 

The Emmy nominations were announced this morning and "The Sopranos" walked away with 15 noms and the most nominated series. Booooring! "Ugly Betty" and "Grey's Anatomy" also walked away with a grip. Here's the rundown of the top categories with my "Rosie O'Donnell Style" notes of course:

 

Outstanding Drama Series
Boston Legal - STUPID
Grey's Anatomy - GAY

Heroes - CACA
House - WHA?
The Sopranos - FOR THE WIN

Outstanding Comedy Series
Entourage - DOUCHEY
The Office - LAME
30 Rock - FOR THE WIN!
Two and a Half Men - ICK
Ugly Betty - FOR THE WIN!

Outstanding Lead Actor on a Drama Series
James Spader, Boston Legal - POO POO

Hugh Laurie, House - HOT BITCH
Denis Leary, Rescue Me - NO
James Gandolfini, The Sopranos - FOR THE WIN!
Kiefer Sutherland, 24 - EH

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Ricky Gervais, Extras - FOR THE WIN!
Tony Shaloub, Monk - WHA?
Steve Carell, The Office - EH
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock - IH
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men - POO POO

 

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters - SYBIL LIVES!

Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer - NO
Mariska Hargitay, Lay & Order: SVU - THINK AGAIN
Patricia Arquette, Medium - HELLZ NO
Minnie Driver, The Riches - FOR THE WIN!
Edie Falco, The Sopranos - BOOORING

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Felicity Huffman, Desperate Houswives - DH SUCKS
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine - WHO?
Tina Fey, 30 Rock - FOR THE WIN!
America Ferrara, Ugly Betty - FOR THE WIN!
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds - FOR THE WIN!

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Kevin Dillon, Entourage - NEGATIVE
Jeremy Piven, Entourage - NEGATIVE
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother - FOR THE WIN!
Rainn Wilson, The Office - POSSIBLY MAYBE
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men - EFF NO

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
William Shatner, Boston Leagal - BEAM ME UP!
TR Knight, Grey's Anatomy - GAY
Masi Oka, Heroes - GOD NO

Michael Emerson, Lost - FOR THE WIN!
Terry O'Quinn, Lost - FOR THE WIN!
Michael Imporioli, The Sopranos - THINK AGAIN

Oustanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Jaime Pressly, My Name is Earl - THAT SKANK?
Jenna Fischer, The Office - WHO?
Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men - NO
Conchata Ferrell, Two and a Half Men - COOCHIE FERRELL?!
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty - YES! YES! YES!
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds - SECOND CHOICE

 

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers and Sisters - NOPES
Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy - THAT SLUT?
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy - FOR THE WIN!
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy - HELLZ NO
Aida Turturro, The Sopranos - WHO?
Lorraine Bracco, The Sopranos - OK

 

Click here to see the entire list!

 

 

 

Rihanna was the Queen of the BET Awards last night. She showed those nasty heifers how it's really done. You don't need all that glitter and shit to make you look hot. Look at Beyonce! She looks like she's about to eat poor little Rihanna!  Rihanna should've told her ass "I can have your man if I wanted it."

 

 

 

 

My face hurts everytime I see Vivica Fox. Why is homegirl continuing to inject the botox into that face of hers. There was nothing wrong with it to begin with! But I guess once you go botox you can't go back. At last night's BET Awards she looked like a really bad wax figure of Tina Turner. The wig, the mug, the dress, it's too much!