Knocked Up

Tori Spelling is not wearing her unborn baby well. Pigtails are not hot on 65-year-old women. Homegirl and her husband are seen here taking a walk in Los Angeles on 11/22. I'm not sure when Tori is due, but if she can't afford the brat she can give itto me. I'm going to need Dr. 90210 on standby to fix the baby's face though. I'm joking! All babies are beautiful...blah..blah..blah

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Keith Urban had a visitor from his granny at the Betty Ford center in California. Oh that's not his granny you say? Silly me, I didn't recognize Nicole Kidman with that mop of white hair. In this case a wig is ok. Her hair is falling out and it's white! Eeek, she's like a witch. Anyway, this is the moment that the National Enquirer claims Nicole told Keith she's knocked up.

I doubt it though. Her eggs are totally dried up.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Nicole Kidman told her husband, Keith Urban, that she's knocked up. Apparently, she visited him at the Betty Ford Center where he's seeking treatment to give him the good news.

Two home pregnancy tests confirmed the 39-year-old actress is expecting her first child, sources say — but, ironically, her four-month marriage to country crooner Keith, 39, is in serious jeopardy. "Nicole's dream of having a child finally came true when two home pregnancy tests came up positive," an insider tells The ENQUIRER.

It is the Enquirer, so I'm not sure if this is true. I'm gonna say know, because Nicole looks like a frigid bitch. Besides, doesn't excessive booze kills jizz cells? I have no idea what I just said. Ignore that.