Michael Jackson

Two questions...does Michael Jackson still have a penis or has it turned into a clitoris? Second question, what is in the water in Tokyo that makes these people cream their chonies for this lady dude?!

Jacko attended some VIP party in Tokyo. Fans had to fork over $150 to $3,500 to meet his pasty ass. I mean...why don't they just go to the wax museum? It's the same effect.

Damn that scares me. You know the little boys he ALLEGEDLY touched can never be in the same room with bewigged clown again!

Jacko and company arrived in Tokyo today into a mob of crazy Japanese school girls that somehow were never told that he likes em male and pubeless. Well, they have the pubeless thing down. Anyway, why do these hos still love his ass? Is it in their blood? I mean I'm half Japanese and I don't get the love.

Michael Jackson made a rare public appearance in Augusta, Georgia today at the funeral of James Brown. Michael was greeted by cheers from the audience as he made out with a dead James Brown and then spoke. He told the audience, "Ever since I was a small child - no more than six-years-old - my mother would wake me no matter what time it was to watch the television to see the master at work. Every time I saw him move I was mesmerized. I've never seen a performer like JB and right then and there, I knew that was exactly what wanted I to do with my life. James Brown, I shall miss you and I love you so much. Thank you for everything."

Michael also refused to take part in a performance of "Sex Machine" and opted to stay in his seat. His ass was probably wet from making out with James. Either that or he was getting a close look to see what kind of make-up they used to get some tips.

Jesse Jackson, MC Hammer, Al Sharpton and Tomi Ray Hyne were also in attendance.

Jacko is in town! Michael Jackson has already landed in the beautiful city of Las Vegas and purchased this beat down Spanish style home. Jacko is in town to work out a deal to perform a sitdown show at one of the casinos ala Celine Dion style. Jacko arrived with his kids on Saturday via private jet and immediately went to his new home.

He spent Christmas causing a riot at the Caesar forum shops. His 3 security guards couldn't control the crowd and Miss Jackson bolted after 15-minutes of shopping.

Las Vegas dealmaker Jack Wishna is apparently working with Jacko to bring something to Vegas next year. He said, "We are working on several projects. Michael is one of the greatest entertainers in the world. He is poised to return to the top of the entertainment world soon."

He should just save Caesar's some money and take over Celine's show as is. I mean he has the wigs and the figure. He can sort of sing like her. His legs would look much better in her gowns anyway.

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Well, look on the bright side. He could look like Jacko. I mean which is better? This ho needs to stay out of the sun and moisturize his situation. I won't even comment on that Bobbie Brown circa the late 80s do.

Image: Crunk + Disorderly

Chris Brown performed Michael Jackson's "Thriller" at last night's World Music Awards. As you know Jacko failed his big comeback attempt. He came out and song a few bars of "We are the World," but sounded like hell according to witnesses. Chris wasn't even born when this song came out. He looks fine, but how fucking cheap. They should've just shown the video.

Michael Jackson was supposed to perform "Thriller" at tonight's World Music Awards in London and instead he sang a chorus from "We are the World" surrounded by children. Um...should he really be around all those kids? Thriller was instead performed by Chris Brown in honor of Jacko. He apparently looked nervous and uncomfortable accepting his award. Shit, I'm uncomfortable just looking at him.

Do yourself a favor and don't look too closely at his nose. I think that's the 8th Wonder of the World.

Michael Jackson will take the stage at the World Music Awards in London in only a few hours. He hasn't played England in nearly 9 years. He will perform his classic song "Thriller." He will also receive the Diamond award given to artists who have sold 100 Million albums or more. Jacko hasn't been quiet about his return and has been very public while in London. You know he's scaring small children everywhere.

He's also been making crazy demands to the WMA producers. He has demanded several hairstylists and make-up artists for only himself. Can you blame him? It takes a lot of work for homegirl to look so freaky. He's also demanded walls be built in the hallways of his hotel for privacy. I'm guessing that the privacy was for the other guests, so they wouldn't die of fright in the morning.

I can't wait to see this trainwreck unfold....

I hate the Fab Five, but Jacko needs them bad. Brown nails and a bad wig? I mean, if you're going to prance around like a damn woman at least look like a hot one. He needs to figure out this wig situation and get him some Lee press-ons to cover up that filth. Sick. He also needs to wax the facial hair and get some new make-up. He's not wearing his season. I'm guessing he's a Winter.

Anyway, JackHO is in London to perform at the World Music Awards tomorrow night at Earls Court and by "perform" I mean..FREAK SHOW y'all!!!

He has taken up two floors of the Hempel Hotel at a cost of about $150,000 a night. Isn't this bitch broke? His 25-person entourage includes Blanket and his other children. He also demanded that all the candles be removed from the children's bedrooms, because he doesn't want a fire to break out aka he doesn't want anyone to see him touching them...JOKING! God, calm down.

UPDATE: Reader Paula, thinks homegirl might have cancer. Apparently, chemo causes your nails to turn brown. He is wearing a wig too. Hmm...interesting.

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Pics Source: Splash

Michael Jackson will perform his classic hit "Thriller" at the World Music Awards in Monaco next week. Producers of the show say he will receive the Diamond Award given to artists who have sold more than 100 Million album worldwide.

Jacko has remained in hiding since he was acquitted of child molestation charges last year. This performance will mark his return and no doubt give us something to laugh at.

Below is an interview that Jacko gave recently to Billy Bush. I'm not sure who scares me more, Jacko or Bush? Jacko has clearly lost his mind and everyone around him seems in a daze. This performance is going to be AMAZING and by amazing, I mean a GRADE A train wreck.

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