Pamela Anderson

Heidi Montag reportedly pulled out of the White House Correspondents' Association dinner, because MSNBC refused to pay for Spencer's first-class plane ticket. Well, the two douchebags made it after all! George Bush was probably heartbroken when he heard Heidi couldn't make it, so he chartered Air Force One for her. This is a good thing, because the two really are intellectual soul mates.

And yes Heidi wore that same outfit a week ago. It looked like shit then and it looks like shit now.

The dinner was also attended by Asshole and Pete Wentz, Pammy Anderson, Lauren Conrad, Michael Johns from American Idol, Joel McHale, Jenny McCarthy, the Jonas Brothers, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner and Marcia Cross.

President Bush joked to the audience, "Pamela Anderson and Mitt Romney in the same room? Isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?" That whole room was the last sign of the apocalypse. I'm surprised the room didn't spontaneously combust from all the morons in it.

Bush went on to joke, "[Hillary] Clinton couldn't get in because of sniper fire and Sen. [Barack] Obama's at church." That Dubya is such a fucking comedian. He should really quit his job and join the Queens of Comedy tour.

E! has announced that Pamela Anderson will star in an "observational documentary series" that debuts this Summer. Bitch please! It's called a reality show. Why the fuck are they trying to maker her sound all high-class. We've seen the woman suck dick. It's called a reality show.

E! said, "E!'s cameras capture Pam's fabulous adventures, emotional journey and all the surprises that come along the way. It's going to be a wild ride." I'm sure it will be. Have your medication handy.

Obviously, Pamela was going to do a reality show at some point. She's done everything already. She's been a porn star, magician's ho, B-movie actress, syndicated television star, cartoon character and stripper.

This Summer will be all about old whores in reality shows. White Oprah, Denise Richards and now Pamela Anderson. The reality whore trinity!

Here's some pics of Pamela orally destroying a hot dog at one of her son's games this past weekend. You know all the dad's were pitching tents at that shit.

I've always wondered what the hell those marks were on Pamela Anderson's arms. I figured it was the skankiness seeping through her pores. Pammy was on Craig Ferguson last night and said those marks came from leeches. No, she wasn't talking about all her ex-husbands.

Pamela said, "I was attacked by leeches - look at my arm. It's been there since I was nine - its very traumatic. A bunch of them jumped on me in a lake while I was swimming under the water."

Leech marks last that long?! Stop lying! She was not 9 and it wasn't in the water. She was 19, it was in the back of an alley and Leech was the name of her low-life, drug dealer boyfriend at the time. Leech is a total drug dealer name.

Pamela Anderson's two-month fairytale marriage to Rick Salomon is officially over. Fraud was given as the reason for their annulment. Their marriage has been completely erased. Too bad they can't do the same thing for their combined STDs.

TMZ claims Pamela promised Rick she would have his children. A source told them she became pregnant during their relationship, but was no longer pregnant after they separated. This is why they both claimed fraud as the reason for their marriage ending. No longer pregnant? That sounds so....grim.

This was Pamela and Rick's third marriage each!

Pam will be back at it by the Summer. Who will she marry this time? I'm thinking she'll change it up and marry a much older man. I'm thinking The Hoff. What a perfect couple.

Truckstop hooker, Pamela Anderson or all of the above? Eeesh. I now have a face for my worst hangover and that's Pamela Anderson. I need to drink down an Emergen-C after looking at her pictures. Anyway, Pamela Anderson put on an old bed sheet to join her ex, Tommy Lee, and their boys at the movies yesterday. Her other ex, Rick Salmon, was across the street getting coffee with some other chick. This is probably an every day occurrence for Pam. She's been with almost every dude in Hollywood, so she's bound to run into a few them during her daily activities.

Rick Salomon has co-signed Pamela Anderon's claim that their marriage was some fraudlent bullshit. Last month, Pammy filed for annulment from Rick and claimed fraud. Rick filed papers with the same claim and asked to make their two-month union disappear. People is reporting that no reason was given on why the fraud allegation was made. Everyone on Pam is fake, so it only makes sense that her relationships are also fake. Fake ass bitch!

Rick is not asking for spousal support from Pam, because he makes more money than her. I guess fucking Parasite Hilton's nasty snatch on camera pays off.

Rick and Pam were married in Las Vegas last October during a break in her magic shows. Pamela will be married again by the end of the year. Trust this. Although, she's really missing out in life by not making her marriage to Rick work. Look at him. Nothing says skid mark undies and farting during dinner like a golden arch marijuana t-shirt. He's such a class act.

Pamela Anderson took her slut act overseas to perform with Hans Klok on a German TV show. Looks like he used his magic skills to make her dignity and pants disappear. I'm just joking. She never had dignity to begin with. Seriously though! I think I would be more shocked if Pamela Anderson actually put on clothes. She will be whoring it up until she's six feet under.

The Daily Mail also reports that there are rumors that Hans and Pamela are an item. When are people going to realize that Klok likes kok! Does he have to come out a million times like Michael Stipe (see below) until people finally get it?

Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from Rick Salomon after 2 months of marriage back in December. She quickly changed her mind, but now she's decided to annul her fairytale marriage. Pamela claimed "fraud" as the reason why she wants her marriage to disappear.

Fraud...really? Who the hell did Pamela think she was marrying? Goody McHusband? The dude made a sex tape with Paris Hilton! That right there should tell you not to mess with the bitch. Pamela may want her marriage to completely disappear, but I'm sure she'll have the vaginal warts forever and that's beautiful. The wedding gift that keeps giving. Well, Rick did fuck with Paris Hilton.

Pamela Anderson is in Paris where she will perform her "hag on a hog" routine at Le Crazy Horse in tonight. She has completely banned the media from seeing her show. She is expected to get naked on a Harley. She has asked the venue to keep photographers and journalists out of the show. It's okay Pammy. We've all seen your kibbles and bits. It's kind of ironic that Pamela is being so modest about a show where she's taking all her clothes off in front of an audience.

Wait...hold up. Does Pammy have sharpee eyebrows? Actually, it's more like furniture pen eyebrows, but I'm sure I can talk her into going with a sharpee next time.

Here's Pammy at the Brigitte Bardot Foundation today on behalf of Peta to protest the hung of poor little seals.

Wireimage

Pamela Anderson is heading to Paris to perform at the famous Crazy Horse cabaret club. 40-year-old Pammy will perform on February 13th and 14th. Her number is inspired by Serge Gainsbourg's "Harley Davidson." She will do a striptease on a Harley.

A spokeswhore would not say if Pammy's going to get fully nude, but that's pretty much the status quo at Crazy Horse.

Pam said, "The Crazy Horse has always been about, 'You think you see everything, [but] you see nothing."

I'm all for getting naked and being hot, but rubbing your flappy coochie on a Harley? Come on Pam! It's time to hang up the implants.

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Thanks Velvett