Kimora

My eyes were hoping to read that "Rhynstone Sara Lee Hounsou" is the name of Kimodo Dragon's baby, but she has disappointed me. Kimora and Djimon actually gave their baby a cute name (or maybe I've had too much Sanka this afternoon). Page Six says their 4-day-old son has been named Kenzo Lee Hounsou.

They named him after fashion designer Kenzo Takada. Kenzo is Kimodo's third kid. She has two daughters with Russell Simmons, Ming Lee and Aoki Lee.

Kenzo, Ming and Aoki? Get out the spandex, alert Hello Kitty and roll out the synthesizer, because they will soon be the world's newest J-Pop sensation.

Picture a tiny human chilling out in a hospital somewhere with cashmere diapers over his nalgas and a canary diamond-covered beanie on his head. He really exists, because Kimuumuu gave birth to him yesterday morning in Los Angeles. This is the first baby Kimora and Djimon Hounsou made together. Kimora also has two daughters, Ming Lee and Aoki Lee, with Russell Simmons.

When Kimora's vagina area started percolating, she Twittered that she was about to pop. You know, since Twittering that your pussy is about to combust is the new thing. Kimora wrote: "It's time!! No turning back! At hospital in labor right now!! Having contractions now! Ooo- wee! It's like WHOA! Love & Light, KLS." 16 hours later, she updated everyone: "It's a boy! Thanks to everyone out there for all your well wishes! More to come. Thank God. And God Bless! Kimora + Djimon Love & Light, KLS"

Kimora even posted the picture below of her in the hospital. Her personal Photoshop artists must have been pissed that she made them work on the weekend, because you know she had that shit touched.

And unfortunately, Kimora and Djimon didn't announce a name. I'm hoping for Kimomo Diamante Lee or Kimoramon.

Mating with a narcoleptic turtle has paid off for Kimora Lee! This bitch is getting $40,000 a month from Russell Simmons! Okay, it's really for child support, but you know that ho is going to skim a lot from the top for herself. Russell will never know, because she can store it in her neck!

People says that the divorce between the two was made final yesterday in Los Angeles. Russell agreed to pay $20,000 a month per kid until they turn 19. Drinks are on Ming and Aoki tonight!

Kimumu won legal and sole custody. Russell will get visits, but a nanny and security bitch must be present. Yeah, he'll visit just to drop off the check.

The fuckery doesn't stop there. Russell will also have to buy a car worth at least $60,000 every three years for his girls to sit in until they turn the tender age of 16.

We're all in the wrong fucking business. Baby making with Russell Simmons is a recession-proof industry! Yeah, you might wake up with night terrors from having to lick on his out-of-the-bottle Tequila worm, but for $40k a month, it would be worth it.

$39,800 would be spent on my bar tab and my personal Mother's Cookie factory in the basement. Kids don't need that much money! Just throw them a carrot stick and a couple of Legos. They'll be happy with that.

I thought I'd give you some Dakota Fanning to wash the Ali Lohan out of your eyes. It's nice to see that some chicks in the whole Hollywood game are okay with looking 15 (Dakota turns 15 next month). 15-year-olds should look like fresh Spring daisies, not like a middle-aged, stressed out DMV employee who also work the red eye shift as a taxi dancer to support her OxyContin habit (see post below).

Dakota is truly turning into a lovely young, pristine lady. A lady that I don't even want to curse in front of. I'm joking. I even curse in front of babies. Well, you might as well learn the most useful words in the English language at an early age.

Here's little Dakota at the premiere of Push in Westwood, CA last night with Eyebrow Belle, Chris Evans and a knocked up Kimorazilla with her hot piece.

And was there not a Port-A-Potty at this shit? Dakota and Eyebrow Belle look like they have to make a pee pee. And Chris Evans should really carry a pair of Blue Blockers at all times. Bitch always looks like the sun is flashing its shiny peen in his face.

Kimora Lee Simmons is having a baby with that hot piece Djimon Hounsou, star of Janet Jackson's "Love Will Never Do (Without You)" video. Sorry, he was topless in that shit so in my eyes that's his best work yet. I should also mention his fine work in those Calvin Klein panty ads.

33-year-old Kimumu already has 2 daughters with Russell Simmons named Ming and Aoki. This baby will be Djimon's first. The two have been together for about 2 years or so.

When he first met her, Dijmon told bitches, "My first impression has always been the same, that she's a very beautiful lady, very capable and intelligent and smart with great family values. She's the least high-maintenance lady I've ever dated."

Who in the hell has he been dating? Only skanks that have been on Bridezillas?

Kimorasaurus probably threatened to eat him (and not in the sexy way) if he didn't say that shit. I hope Djimon has made peace with his gods, because Kimora's fury is going to hit fever pitch now that she's pregnant.

And she should also get an ultrasound on her chins and neck, because there might be a few babies growing in there.

Source: UsWeekly

It sounds like Kimora Lee Simmons and her hot man piece, Dijmon Honsou, need to have a little talk over stuffed crepes at IHOP. Seriously, all serious conversations should be done over stuffed crepes.

Anyway, People asked Kimo if she was engaged to her man. She said, "kind of." When asked if he gave her an engagement ring, she replied, "Well, kind of, not quite." Kind of?! Bitch, please! I'm "kind of" engaged to Prince Hot Ginge, but he doesn't know it yet. He "kind of" gave me an engagement cock ring too.

It sounds to me like Dijmon "kind of" doesn't want to be married to her ass and "kind of" bought that shit for herself! Kind of. Isn't "kind" an odd word? Kind. Yeah, it's weird.

Jude Law and Kimbo Stewart touching lips! Those nasty dykes! Get a room! Better yet, get a coffin and stay there forever. The Sun has a couple of pictures of Jude and Kimbo making out at some C-list club in Essex on Saturday night.

A source said, “We couldn’t believe it when we saw Kimberly Stewart snogging the face off Jude Law. They were really going at it and barely came up for air." Just because Jude Law is balding doesn't mean he has to lower his standards. Kimbo?! I would rather lick Rod Stewart's raisin ass lips than even hold Kimbo's hands. Nast.

Jude really needs to lay off the booger sugar. It makes him do things like this! He better punish himself by staring at Cisco Adler's soggy nuts for at least 20-minutes straight (Cisco used to date Kimbo). Those things have been in Kimbo's mouth! Ack!

Below are pictures of Jude with Jeremy Gilley in Cannes yesterday and Kimbo Stewart at the Sex and the City premiere in London a week ago. I mean, Kimbo is hot for a Bel Ami power bottom porn star.

Kimora Lee Simpson filed for divorce yesterday from Russell Simmons in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Tranny deja vu! The two split in 2006 and said they were divorcing, but I guess they never got around to it. Kimora is too busy dressing up her dogs in diamonds and fur.

Kimo cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their divorce, but you know the real reason was that she found out he was really a turtle. Kimo doesn't play like that with turtles. She is asking for legal and physical custody of their two daughters. She requests that Russell get "reasonable child visitation … to be accompanied at all times by the children's nanny and security personnel." Huh? He can't hang out with his kids solo? Kimo is paranoid and thinks someone is going to kidnap them. Ok, JLo.

Kimora is currently dating that hot bitch Djimon Hounsou and she recently denied rumors that she's knocked up.

I couldn't find out if she was asking for spousal support, but I wouldn't doubt it. Kimora has her own money, but she always wants more more more!

Source: People

The Church of Scientology reportedly wants more African American members in their church and is hoping Will Smith can help them achieve their goal. The church opened up a center in Harlem in 2003 and is actively pursuing Will and Kimora Lee Simmons. Both have denied they are members of Tommy Girl's clan.

A souce told MSNBC's The Scoop that Will is definitely in the process of becoming a member, “He’s been getting more and more involved. And it isn’t just him, it’s definitely Jada, too. It’s that as he becomes more involved, you’d think he’d sort of help fly the flag with Tom (Cruise), who seems to only get a bad rap for it, while Will does this and comes through just fine.”

Where's Tommy Lee Jones when you need him? Only ToLee can help Willy get back on track and battle the aliens. The aliens are the enemy! I think it's time for another "Men in Black" sequel to remind Will of this. The Scientologists can have Jada! Maybe it will stop her from making horrific music with her band, Wicked Wisdom.

Radar Magazine believes Kimora is involved in the church, because David Miscavige spoke about how Kimora distributed an edition of Hubbard’s “The Way to Happiness,” with her face on the cover, to school kids in NJ. The kids?! Screw the schoolyard drug pushers! This is a bigger threat.

She snagged a hot piece of hunk and now she might be pregnant. Homegirl is good. Kimorazilla has reportedly been trying to get knocked up with Djimon Hounsou's baby for a while now and her hard work has finally paid off. A source told Page Six, "She's pregnant."

Kimo's rep said that he hasn't been able to get a hold of his client for five days. That's because she's busy trying to find a surrogate to carry her baby. Everyone knows trannies can't get pregnant!

Kimo has two daughters, Ming and Aoki, with Russell Simmons.

Here's some pictures from a few nights and Kimo definitely looks a little heavy in the gut. That could just be a little bloat from her female hormones.

If Kimo is pregnant than JLo better watch it! Kimorazilla will definitely top her outrageousness. Kimo will probably demand to doctors that she give birth to a giant canary diamond. Take that JLo! Kimo will name it Kelolo. Oh shit! Do you remember Kelolo from Martin Lawrence's show? She was Sheneneh's best homegirl? She was the star of that show.

I can't talk about Sheneneh without posting a clip of her. Those were the days.