Posh & Becks

A huge billboard over Macy's in Union Square of Becks with no hands and a photoshopped crotch was unveiled to a crowd of screaming ninnies yesterday.

Becks was there in person to promote the new Emporio Armani panties ad campaign. He posed for pictures and signed half-nekkid pictures of himself for little boys. Jacko would be so proud.

Below is a video from ONTD of a bunch of dumb memaws screaming over the billboard. They act like they've just seen a 10-inch dick in person! A REAL 10-inch dick.

Becks will be in San Francisco tonight where he will show off several pictures from the new Emporio Armani panties campaign. Hmm....I'm thinking Becks had a little help in the dick department. That shit looks like a dill pickle.

It doesn't matter. I'd still hit it. I'd take that dill pickle and shove it in his mouth, so that I won't have to hear a girly peep from him. I mean, can you imagine hearing Minnie Mouse scream, "Take that dick!" Total buzzkill.

VIA Towleroad

Becks, slowly step away from the douche. You do not want to be contaminated! Hopefully, Becks went home and bathed in period water. I know it's gross, but that's the only way to combat douche.

You can tell Becks has no idea what Justin Timberlake is saying. When Justin starts talking everybody but him only hears "douche douche douche." Becks is politely smiling and trying to figure out what the hell is coming out of d-bag's mouth.

Here's Becks with Justin at the Lakers-Celtics game last night.

I'm convinced that isn't Posh with Becks and her kids at Disneyland yesterday. It's an imposter with a fake pig nose and a guinea pig wig. There's no way that bitch would ever leave the house in her husband's jeans and flat sandals. I'm surprised she can even walk. Damn, maybe she's depressed? Send her some Prozac and a DVD copy of "The Fox and the Hound." She needs to snap out of it because I do not like my Posh in flats and baggy jeans. No. No. No.

I'll have the Becks batter soup, followed by the slow-cooked Becks beef, and finally the Becks cream pie with extra cream.

Here's David Beckham looking like he's ready to serve you at the opening of Gordon Ramsay's new restaurant in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, Gordon did not name it "FUCKIN' DONKEY!"

Celebrities have kibble for brains, so they will wear whatever some insane gay stylist tells them to wear. Some of these pictures below are proof of that. You are smarter than this. Just say no!

Naomi Campbell wasn't the only foolio to wear genie/MC Hammer pants to the CFDA Awards last night. Maggie GyllenHAG did too and the results have given me a headache. She looks like Rhoda and Hammer's bastard child.

Hammer pants will never be cute! They should be banished for eternity along with diaper shorts, skorts and dickies! You can add your own suggestions in the comments. I'm still dizzy from Maggie's fugness.

I'm seriously making thumbnail #5 my new wallpaper. Maggie is making sure to keep very still. If she moves just a little, Posh Mantis will sense her fear and attack!

I've also noticed that Posh hardly ever poses without her hands on her hips. If she removes her hands, the top half of her body will collapse!

Below is also some Ashley Olsen. She's smiling! You know it's going to be a good day when you see a troll smile. Or maybe it's going to be a bad day, because she secretly knows the evil that's coming our way.

David Beckham has spent seven-figures on a California wine vineyard as a gift to his beloved shriveled snail, Posh Beckham. The Sun claims he bought that shit as a Barfday gift and the two plan to make wine. A source said Posh and Becks plan to keep their vom juice for themselves and friends, they aren't planning on selling it.

A source said, “The Beckhams became wine buffs when he played in Spain. The vineyard went down a storm with Victoria. She was delighted.”

Please, you know Posh doesn't drink that shit. Too many calories and fat grams. I know it doesn't have fat in it, but Ginger Spice told her that to fuck with her. Posh will probably make her own calorie-free wine. Anovino! It will taste like a mixture of burnt flesh, Mickey Mouse sperm, stale silicone and fierceness. I can't believe I just typed "fierceness." Take my homo card away now.

I'm convinced that Marc Jacobs is playing a big ass joke on Posh. One night, he's going to invite her to a big party and hang all her fugly ads all over the room. She's going to walk in and he's going to shout "Punk'd!!!" and everyone will start laughing at her. She'll try to cry, but we know that bitch can't produce tears. If she did cry, her skin would quickly suck it up. She has the Sahara desert on her face.

She looks like a Stepford wife who got a shot of the bad shit. I hope this bitch is getting paid a grip to make a foolio of herself!

Posh is always at Pink Taco. She loves their Diet Coke and ice chips! I could never eat at that joint, because I'd be giggling like Tommy Girl during a colonic. I'd shout to everyone, "Look! I'm eating a pink taco and not gagging. Eehehehe."

Posh looks hot. It must be the shoes. Here she is with her entourage and Cruz yesterday.

I always knew Posh was a shemalien from Venus and now here's proof. She floats! She totally looks like a teen alien boy here. Tommy Girl has new jack-off material for the weekend! Thanks to Posh!

Here's the shemalien promoting her line of overpriced crap jeans in London.