Posh & Becks

It was Brooklyn Beckham's 9th Birthday yesterday and the Beckham clan celebrated by throwing him a party at the Pink Taco. The Pink Taco is not a strip club in Texas, but it sounds like it. Cruz Beckham stole the show by wearing a Batman costume. Posh even color coordinated with him. I wonder what her Batman villian name was? Poison Piggy?

Eva LongWHORIA later showed up to Brooklyn's party. What the hell did he do to deserve that?! He was probably hoping for Tony Parker and instead he got Tony's worse half.

David Beckham couldn't make it, because he was having an affair working overseas.

Do any of these celebrity kids have friends that are kids? It looks like Brooklyn's party was filled with his brothers, his mom, the bodyguards and Eva's stupid ass.

At last night's Spice Girls concert at Madison Square Garden in NYC, the hags brought their kids on stage yet again. Don't you think if you have to equip your kids with heavy ass ear protectors that maybe it's not a good idea if you bring them on stage? Those kids don't give a fuck! They want to be playing with their boogers. Anyway, Cruz Beckham managed to steal the spotlight by breaking out in a breakdance in front of everyone. All the Spice Girls were apparently shocked and surprised. Probably because they can't believe that kind of talent came from their gene pool. I'm sure Posh staged that whole thing. She was standing backstage with him like Mama Rose shouting "On your 'ed Cruz! On your 'ed!!!"

Image:INFDaily.com

Posh and Becks secret tattoos has been revealed. They renewed their marriage vows in 2006 and had matching tattoos as a symbol of the nauseating occasion. They were first married in 1999. The matching tattoos are of the Roman numerals VIII.V.MMVI which is the date of the second ceremony. They managed to keep their 2006 ceremony a secret which is surprising since Posh is a major media whore.

A source told the Daily Mirror that Becks arranged the whole renewal ceremony on his own. The ceremony was held at their home, Beckingham Palace. A source said, "David was meticulously planning the big day for months. It was a huge undertaking to keep it all under wraps. He was desperately excited but had had to keep quiet with everyone but his and Victoria's closest family. Only a handful of people were at the ceremony and they've managed to keep it under wraps for nearly two years. It was simple, beautiful and very non-showbiz. It was about them as a couple and a family unit - not glitz and glamour."

They are so sweet. They make me want to kick a pony.

He handled everything from the cake, to the food, to even picking out her dress. After the ceremony he took her to Paris where he allowed her to buy anything she wanted. PLEASE! She buys what she wants anyway.

You know Lady McBeckham handled everything. She probably said to Becks, "I want a second ceremony and here's the list of things you have to do. Don't worry I'll tell everyone you planned it, so you can look like you have a set of brains for once. Now go clean out my g-strings in the bathroom sink." Becks grabbed her list and responded to her in his Minnie Mouse voice, "yes dear" and shuffled off.

Lil' Kim will always hold a place in my black heart. Anybody who can come up with the lyrics, "If you aint lickin no butts, we don't want it, we don't want it" is fine by me. That being said, she needs plastic surgery rehab. They should gather up all the surgery addicts and put them in a safe place filled with mirrors, so they can take a good look at themselves. Soon she won't even be able to say those amazing lyrics anymore, because she won't be able to move her mouth!

Kim came out to celebrate Marc Jacobs' show last night. Posh was also there and looked like Posh. Kim should have posed with her. Kim's plastic mask would have made robotic Posh look human.

Wenn, Splash, Wireimage

Posh was the guest judge at the Project Runway fashion show today. Don't worry, there's no spoilers. All 5 remaining contestants did collections, so nothing was spoiled. Producers do that shit, so we don't know who the final 3 is. I can't wait to see the finale. We should have a drinking game. Every time Posh says "mayja" and Christian says "feirceee" we take a shot of peppermint Schnapps. We'll be slow dancing with the toilet by the end of the night.

Posh and Becks have talked about having more children, but it looks like Posh is sick of being pregnant. The two may adopt a baby from African. Becks visited Sierra Leone with UNICEF and that trip moved him to want to adopt an orphan. Becks has apparently even talked to Tom Cruise about it, because Tom has two adopted children.

A source said "Tom has talked to David about how adoption changed him and how he's been able to change the lives of two amazing children." Posh & Becks' spokeswhore deny the claims.

The couple currently have 3 boys.

Talking to Tom about adopting an African orphan? I'm sure Tom told Becks that he will definitely help him if......Becks let's him toss his salad. "Can we talk about this over salads?" Tom knows nothing about adopting! He probably didn't even handle the adoption of his kids. He just told his people that he needed to look softer in the media, so they handled it.

I think it's a good idea for Posh & Becks to adopt. She's always wanted a girl and I don't think it's healthy for her to carry a baby with all those alleged tummy tucks. That baby is going to be trapped. Living in Posh's belly is like living in a Manhattan studio apartment. It's not comfortable.

Here's Posh wearing a robe from Z Gallerie while sashaying through the Toronto airport with Cruz.

Image: INFDaily.com

The News of the World (yes, it's that time) claims Posh is the reason for the Spice Girls tour ending early. Apparently, Posh is over it and has vowed to never lip-synch with Baby, Sporty, Scary and Ginger again. We should be so lucky.

She reportedly said, "I was very nervous about going back into the Spice Girls because I didn't want to send out a confused message. The reason I decided to do the tour was to show my kids that mummy was a pop star once. I've been thinking about this for a long time. I'm not in the music industry any more. I'm in the fashion industry."

She said she is over the music industry and will focus on fashion. Yeah, right. The music industry kicked her ass out. She's one of those "I broke up with you" types.

Posh's fashion line which includes jeans and sunglasses will reportedly make $30 million this year. Idiots will buy anything.

The Spice Girls announced that are cutting their world tour short, because of "family commitments" and touring logistics. They have already performed in Europe, UK, Canada and the US. They were supposed to go on until June playing dates in South Africa, Australia, China and Argentina, but will end their shit in Toronto on February 26th instead. Their management denies they are ending due to poor ticket sales.

The Daily Mirror reports that they aren't ending the tour, because of the reasons they gave. They are ending it, because they hate each other again. Scary and Sporty apparently are completely over it. Scary wants to get back to her family and Sporty is afraid it will jeopardize her solo career.

Menopause is a bitch. Listen, these hos made a commitment and they should see it out. Quitting a commitment is not "girl power." That is "girl laziness." Pop the hormones, put on those hideous outfits, show the camel toe and get the hell out and lip-synch like there's no tomorrow.

The couple that tats together is...um......lame together? Posh & Becks both got new tattoos. She got something on her wrist under a previous tattoo. It's hard to read, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say it reads, "Remember To Eat." Becks showed off his new tattoo a few days ago. He got Posh inked on his arm. It's a semi-nude Posh wrapped around an existing Hindi inscription of her name.

If they should ever break up, Becks can easily say it's an eel wrapped around a piece of coral. He just has to make her tail longer.

Here's some pics of Posh being hot in Boston. She was there to sign her denim line or something like that.

David Beckham's Emporio Armani panty ads have reportedly been sending straight and gay dudes to salons asking for the "boyzillian." That's when they wax everything and I mean EVERYTHING. Including your fucking dignity.

One 44-year-old father recently had his back, crack and nutsack waxed because of the ads. He told the Guardian, "Of course it is slightly painful, but in my experience not nearly as sore as having your chest waxed. It's much better than shaving it, too. You don't get those awkward nicks and it doesn't grow back anything like as quickly." One salon owner said that she used to wax 3 dudes a week and now she's doing 3 a day thanks to David Beckham. She said they all mention him.

No wonder Becks talks like Minnie Mouse. What these idiots don't realize is that he probably got smooth thanks to the help of Photoshop. Although, I can see Posh forcing him to get his nuts waxed. What am I saying? What nuts?! She already took those. She probably had them implanted into her tits.

You will never see me getting my business waxed. That is weird. I only let strange men I meet on Craigslist shave my naughty bits. That's what a normal person does!

VIA Towleroad